Relationships – Page 3 – Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC

Lifestages Personal Growth Relationships

Breaking Free: Effective Strategies to Cut Down Screen Time on Phones and Tablets

In today’s digital age, smartphones and tablets have become indispensable tools for communication, work, entertainment, and learning. However, with their constant presence, it’s easy to lose track of time and fall into unhealthy usage patterns. Excessive screen time has been linked to a variety of health issues, including eye strain, poor posture, disrupted sleep patterns, and even mental health problems like anxiety and depression (Firth et al., 2019). Fortunately, there are several strategies to help limit screen time and promote a healthier balance between digital and offline activities.

1. Set Time Limits on Apps

Most smartphones and tablets now offer built-in tools to help users monitor and control their screen time. Both Android and iOS devices have settings where you can set daily time limits for individual apps (Google, 2022). For example, Apple’s “Screen Time” feature allows users to set app limits, and Android users can use “Digital Wellbeing” for similar controls. These features provide reminders when you approach or exceed your preset time limits, helping you stay aware of your usage habits.

Setting limits not only helps you reduce unnecessary app use but also encourages you to be more intentional about how you spend your time. Studies have shown that structured restrictions can effectively help people cut down on screen time and reduce distractions (Lepp et al., 2014).

2. Turn Off Notifications

Constant notifications from apps, social media platforms, and messaging services can significantly increase your screen time. These interruptions prompt you to check your phone repeatedly throughout the day, often leading to extended periods of time spent on devices. A 2016 study found that people check their smartphones on average 150 times a day, largely driven by notifications (Svetlana et al., 2016).

To limit distractions, consider turning off non-essential notifications or using “Do Not Disturb” modes during certain times of the day, such as during work or before bed. This simple step helps reduce the urge to check your phone constantly.

3. Establish Screen-Free Zones

Creating screen-free zones in your home or workspace is another effective strategy to limit phone and tablet use. Designating certain areas, such as the dining room, bedroom, or living room, as “no-phone zones” can help reduce mindless scrolling and promote more face-to-face interactions. Additionally, making your bedroom a screen-free area can help improve sleep quality by preventing blue light exposure before bedtime (Harvard Health Publishing, 2020).

These zones can be particularly helpful in fostering healthier habits by encouraging more in-person communication and mindfulness.

4. Use Digital Detoxes or Screen-Free Days

Another highly effective method is to commit to periodic digital detoxes or screen-free days. This could mean turning off your phone for a set period, such as during weekends or evenings, or even dedicating a full day once a month to disconnecting from all digital devices. Studies have shown that digital detoxes can improve mental health and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety (Przybylski & Weinstein, 2017).

While the idea of a complete digital detox may feel daunting at first, many individuals find that taking breaks from their phones or tablets allows them to reconnect with their surroundings, hobbies, and personal relationships, ultimately leading to improved well-being.

5. Engage in Offline Activities

One of the most effective ways to reduce phone usage is by engaging in offline activities that are enjoyable and fulfilling. Exercise, reading, cooking, or pursuing hobbies like painting or gardening can be great alternatives to spending time on screens. Research suggests that outdoor activities and physical exercise are particularly beneficial for reducing screen time and boosting overall mental and physical health (Biddle & Asare, 2011).

By prioritizing these activities, you naturally reduce the temptation to spend excessive time on your devices.

6. Track Your Screen Time Regularly

Another valuable strategy is tracking your screen time regularly. By reviewing how much time you spend on your phone or tablet each day, you become more aware of your usage patterns. Both iOS and Android devices have built-in tracking features that provide insights into your daily and weekly screen time usage (Google, 2022). You can break it down further by showing which apps you spend the most time on, helping you identify areas where you could make improvements.

Tracking your usage can serve as a reminder to stay conscious of your screen time and make small adjustments, such as reducing the time spent on social media or checking email.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Digital Wellbeing

Finally, adopting mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your screen usage. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings. When it comes to screen time, mindfulness can help you recognize when you’re using your phone or tablet out of habit or boredom rather than necessity.

Apps like “Forest” or “Focus@Will” promote mindfulness by encouraging you to stay off your phone and focus on the task at hand. These apps can help improve concentration and productivity, making it easier to manage time on digital devices (Nielsen et al., 2019).

Reducing time spent on phones and tablets is essential for maintaining both mental and physical health. By implementing strategies such as setting time limits, turning off notifications, creating screen-free zones, engaging in offline activities, and practicing mindfulness, individuals can regain control over their screen time and foster healthier habits. The key to success lies in being intentional with technology use and recognizing when digital interactions start to negatively impact well-being.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S. Mr. Collier has over 25 years experience in the social work field. He currently serves and the executive Director and outpatient provider through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC based out of London Kentucky. John may be reached by phone (606) 657-0532 or by email at [email protected].

References

Biddle, S. J. H., & Asare, M. (2011). Physical activity and mental health in children and adolescents: A review of reviews. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 45(11), 883-890. https://doi.org/10.1136/bjsports-2011-090185

Firth, J., et al. (2019). The effects of online social networking on mental health: A systematic review. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 22(1), 17-25. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2018.0177

Google. (2022). Digital wellbeing. https://wellbeing.google

Harvard Health Publishing. (2020). Blue light and sleep. Harvard Medical School. https://www.health.harvard.edu

Lepp, A., et al. (2014). The relationship between cell phone use and academic performance. Computers in Human Behavior, 31, 87-92. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.10.050

Nielsen, M. F., et al. (2019). Exploring digital mindfulness: A scoping review of digital interventions promoting mindfulness. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 21(3), e11993. https://doi.org/10.2196/11993

Przybylski, A. K., & Weinstein, N. (2017). Can you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(6), 741-758. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407516637612

Svetlana, G., et al. (2016). Mobile phone dependency and the development of social media addiction. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 5(4), 706-715. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.5.2016.084

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW

Mar, Wed, 2025

Children coping Parenting Relationships Teen

I Can’t stand being told “No”: How to Accept “No” as an Answer from Your Parents

Hearing “no” from your parents can be frustrating, especially when you feel like their decision is unfair or unnecessary. However, learning how to accept “no” as an answer is an important life skill that helps build self-control, patience, and resilience. Understanding why parents say “no” and developing strategies to handle it maturely can improve your relationship with them and help you navigate life’s challenges more effectively.

Why Do Parents Say “No”?

Your parents’ job is to guide and protect you, which means they sometimes have to set limits. Research shows that parental boundaries help teens develop better decision-making skills and prevent impulsive behaviors (Baumrind, 1991). Some common reasons parents say “no” include:

Safety Concerns – They want to protect you from harm.
Financial Reasons – Some requests may be too expensive.
Time Management – They may want you to focus on school, sleep, or family time.
Moral or Ethical Concerns – They may be trying to instill values in you.

While it might feel unfair in the moment, their decisions are often made with your best interests in mind.

How to Accept “No” Without Getting Upset

1. Take a Deep Breath and Stay Calm

Reacting with anger or frustration can escalate the situation. Instead, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts. Studies on emotional regulation suggest that deep breathing can help reduce stress and improve self-control (Gross, 1998).

2. Listen to Their Explanation

Rather than immediately arguing, listen to your parents’ reasoning. Even if you disagree, understanding their perspective shows maturity and respect. Research on family communication highlights that active listening improves relationships and problem-solving (Smetana, 2011).

3. Ask Questions Respectfully

If you don’t understand why they said no, ask calmly:

“Can you help me understand why this isn’t a good idea?”
“Is there a way I can prove I’m responsible enough?”

This approach shows that you respect their decision while seeking clarity.

4. Accept Their Decision Without Arguing

Sometimes, your parents’ answer won’t change no matter what. Instead of continuing to argue, acknowledge their response and move on. Constant arguing can lead to unnecessary conflict and resentment (Grusec & Goodnow, 1994).

5. Find an Alternative or Compromise

If their decision affects something important to you, try proposing a compromise. For example:

If they say no to going out late, suggest coming home earlier.
If they say no to buying something expensive, offer to contribute your own money.

Finding a middle ground can show your responsibility and willingness to cooperate.

6. Remember That “No” is Not Personal

It’s easy to feel like a “no” means your parents don’t trust or care about you, but that’s not the case. Their decisions are often based on experience and concern for your well-being. Studies show that teens who perceive parental rules as caring rather than controlling develop healthier independence (Deci & Ryan, 1985).

7. Focus on the Bigger Picture

In the moment, getting a “no” may feel like the end of the world, but ask yourself:

Will this still matter a week from now?
Is this decision really unfair, or just disappointing?

Practicing perspective-taking helps you handle setbacks in a more balanced way (Hoffman, 2000).

Accepting “no” as an answer from your parents is tough, but it’s a valuable skill that will benefit you throughout life. Learning to stay calm, listen, and respond respectfully helps build stronger relationships, develop patience, and prove your maturity. Even when you don’t agree with their decision, handling it well can lead to more trust and independence in the future.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the Socia Work field. He currently serves as the Executive Director of Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC based out of London Kentucky. He may be reached at (606) 657-0532 or by email at [email protected].

References

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer.
Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271-299.
Grusec, J. E., & Goodnow, J. J. (1994). Impact of parental discipline methods on the child’s internalization of values. Developmental Psychology, 30(1), 4-19.
Hoffman, M. L. (2000). Empathy and moral development: Implications for caring and justice. Cambridge University Press.
Smetana, J. G. (2011). Adolescents, families, and social development: How teens construct their worlds. Wiley.

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW

Mar, Mon, 2025

Marriage Relationships

What Does It Mean to Love Your Wife?

Loving one’s wife is a fundamental aspect of a strong and enduring marriage. It extends beyond mere words or fleeting emotions and is demonstrated through actions, commitment, and intentional effort. The concept of love within marriage has been explored in psychological, philosophical, and religious contexts, with varying interpretations of how love is best expressed. This article examines what it means to love one’s wife, drawing on research from psychology, relationship counseling, and philosophy.

Understanding Love in Marriage

Love in marriage is multidimensional, encompassing emotional, intellectual, and physical connections. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (1986) identifies three core components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment (Sternberg, 1986). A balanced marriage integrates these elements, fostering a deep and fulfilling relationship.

Intimacy – This involves deep emotional closeness, vulnerability, and a sense of connection. It is built through trust, empathy, and consistent communication (Gottman & Silver, 2015).
Passion – Passion entails romantic attraction and physical affection. While it may fluctuate over time, intentional efforts to nurture attraction and express love physically are vital (Hatfield & Walster, 1978).
Commitment – A long-term decision to prioritize the well-being and happiness of one’s spouse despite life’s challenges. This aspect of love is what sustains a relationship through difficulties (Stanley, 2005).

Demonstrating Love in Practical Ways

To truly love one’s wife means translating emotional affection into meaningful actions. Here are several key ways to do so:

1. Practicing Emotional Attunement :

Loving one’s wife requires actively listening and responding to her emotional needs. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of turning toward one’s partner instead of away when discussing emotions (Gottman & Silver, 2015). This means being present, validating her feelings, and offering support rather than dismissing concerns.

2. Acts of Service and Sacrifice

Love often involves selflessness. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages (1992) identifies acts of service as a key way many individuals feel loved. Helping with household responsibilities, supporting her goals, and prioritizing her well-being are clear demonstrations of love.

3. Communicating Affection and Appreciation

Verbal affirmations, such as expressing gratitude and admiration, strengthen emotional intimacy (Chapman, 1992). Simple words of encouragement and affirmation, such as “I appreciate you” or “I love you,” reinforce a strong emotional bond.

4. Prioritizing Quality Time

Spending intentional time together, without distractions, cultivates closeness. Studies suggest that couples who engage in shared activities and date nights experience greater relationship satisfaction (Ogolsky, 2020).

5. Nurturing Physical and Romantic Connection

Physical intimacy, including affectionate gestures like holding hands, hugging, and maintaining a fulfilling sex life, plays a crucial role in sustaining a healthy marriage (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993). Physical touch is a powerful way to communicate love and security.

6. Supporting Her Growth and Well-Being

Loving one’s wife includes supporting her personal and professional aspirations. Encouraging her ambitions and well-being contributes to her happiness and strengthens the partnership (Aron et al., 2000).

7. Remaining Loyal and Trustworthy

Trust is the foundation of love. Maintaining honesty, faithfulness, and integrity in words and actions fosters a secure and lasting marriage (Stanley, 2005).

Loving one’s wife is an active and lifelong commitment. It requires effort, intentionality, and a deep understanding of her emotional and relational needs. By practicing emotional attunement, expressing love through actions, and prioritizing the relationship, a husband can create a marriage that thrives on deep, enduring love.

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker based in London, Kentucky. With years of experience in behavioral health therapy, he specializes in relationship counseling, trauma-informed care, and family dynamics. Mr. Collier has worked extensively with couples, helping them build stronger emotional connections and develop healthy communication patterns. His expertise in marriage counseling is grounded in evidence-based therapeutic approaches, drawing from attachment theory, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and mindfulness practices. Passionate about strengthening relationships, John continues to provide guidance and support to individuals and couples navigating the complexities of love, commitment, and emotional well-being.