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Everyday Ways to Improve Aphasia

What is Aphasia?

Aphasia is a condition that makes it hard for people to speak, understand words, read, or write. It usually happens after a stroke or brain injury. Some people with aphasia have trouble finding the right words, while others may not understand what is being said to them. Even though aphasia can be frustrating, there are many ways to improve communication every day.

1. Practice Speaking Every Day

Using words as much as possible can help the brain heal and improve speech. Studies show that people who practice speaking often get better over time (Brady et al., 2016). Here are some simple ways to practice:

  • Read Out Loud: Reading books, newspapers, or even food labels can help with word recall.
  • Describe Objects: Look at things around you and try to name them. For example, if you see a chair, say “chair” out loud.
  • Sing Songs: Singing can help with speech. Many people with aphasia find it easier to sing than to talk (Racette, Bard, & Peretz, 2006).

2. Use Other Ways to Communicate

Speaking is not the only way to communicate. If words are hard to find, try using:

  • Gestures: Pointing, nodding, or using hand signs can help express thoughts.
  • Writing or Drawing: Writing words or drawing pictures can help show what you mean.
  • Apps or Picture Boards: Some people use pictures or apps on a tablet or phone to communicate (Kearns et al., 2019).

3. Take Your Time and Stay Calm

It’s important to stay relaxed when trying to talk. Rushing can make it harder to find the right words. Here are some helpful tips:

  • Pause and Breathe: If words don’t come right away, take a deep breath and try again.
  • Use Short Sentences: Speaking in short phrases can make talking easier.
  • Ask for Help: If a word is hard to remember, ask someone to help by giving hints.

4. Play Word Games and Puzzles

Games that involve words can help improve language skills. Some good options include:

  • Word Matching Games: Matching words with pictures can help with memory.
  • Crossword Puzzles: Easy crossword puzzles can help with word recall.
  • Talking with Friends and Family: Simple conversations every day help build confidence and speech skills.

5. Get Support from Others

Having support makes a big difference. Talking with family, friends, or a support group can help with communication. Studies show that people with aphasia who have support improve more than those who feel isolated (Elman & Bernstein-Ellis, 1999).

6. Work with a Speech Therapist

A speech-language pathologist (SLP) can help create a plan to improve communication. They use special exercises to help with speaking, understanding, and writing.

Conclusion

Aphasia can be challenging, but daily practice and support can help. By reading out loud, using gestures, playing word games, and staying patient, people with aphasia can improve their communication skills over time. Small steps each day can lead to big improvements!

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a seasoned clinical social worker with over 25 years of experience, serving the London, Kentucky area through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Known for his compassionate approach and commitment to quality care, Mr. Collier supports individuals and families with a focus on mental health and well-being. He is available for professional inquiries at (606) 657–0532, extension 101, or by email at [email protected].

References

Brady, M. C., Kelly, H., Godwin, J., Enderby, P., & Campbell, P. (2016). Speech and language therapy for aphasia following stroke. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (6).

Elman, R. J., & Bernstein-Ellis, E. (1999). The efficacy of group communication treatment in adults with chronic aphasia. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 42(2), 411-419.

Kearns, K. P., Lee, J. B., & Meigh, K. M. (2019). Communication strategies for adults with aphasia. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 28(3), 1136-1148.

Racette, A., Bard, C., & Peretz, I. (2006). Making non-fluent aphasics speak: Sing along! Brain, 129(10), 2571-2584.

The Best Times to Stay Silent: A Simple Guide

Sometimes, staying quiet is the best thing you can do. Knowing when to talk and when to listen can help you avoid trouble, show respect, and even help you feel calmer. This article explains the best times to stay silent and why it matters.

1. During an Argument

When people are angry, they often say things they don’t mean. Studies show that when emotions are high, people don’t think as clearly (Gross, 2002). If you stay silent, you give yourself time to calm down and think before speaking. Experts say that good relationships work better when people take a moment to reflect before responding (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

2. When Someone Else is Talking

Listening is an important skill. People who listen well build stronger relationships (Brownell, 2012). If you interrupt or talk over someone, they may feel like you don’t care about what they are saying. Staying quiet while they speak shows respect and helps you understand them better.

3. When Dealing with the Law

If you ever talk to the police, staying silent until you have a lawyer is a smart choice. In the U.S., the Fifth Amendment allows people to stay quiet so they don’t say something that could be used against them (Miranda v. Arizona, 1966). Lawyers suggest staying silent until you have legal help (Dressler, 2019).

4. When You Don’t Know the Facts

If you don’t know much about a topic, it’s better to listen and learn instead of guessing. Studies show that people who think they know everything often make mistakes (Dunning & Kruger, 1999). Staying quiet until you know the facts makes you look smarter and helps avoid spreading wrong information.

5. When You Need to Think

Silence is good for your mind. Meditation and quiet time can help reduce stress and make you feel better (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). Taking time to think and reflect can help you make better decisions and understand your feelings.

6. When Silence Can Prevent a Fight

Sometimes, saying nothing is the best way to stop a fight from getting worse. Studies show that people who stay calm and quiet can help prevent arguments from getting out of control (Bushman, 2002). This works well in school, at home, and in public places.

7. When Words Could Hurt Someone

If your words might hurt someone’s feelings, it may be better to stay quiet. When people are sad or going through a hard time, they may not need advice—they just need someone to listen (Neimeyer, 2001). Sometimes, silence is the best way to show kindness.

Silence isn’t just the absence of words—it’s a powerful way to think, listen, and stay out of trouble. Whether you’re in an argument, learning something new, or dealing with a tough situation, knowing when to stay quiet can make life better.

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a seasoned clinical social worker with over 25 years of experience, serving the London, Kentucky area through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Known for his compassionate approach and commitment to quality care, Mr. Collier supports individuals and families with a focus on mental health and well-being. He is available for professional inquiries at (606) 657–0532, extension 101, or by email at [email protected].

References

  • Brownell, J. (2012). Listening: Attitudes, Principles, and Skills (5th ed.). Pearson.
  • Bushman, B. J. (2002). “Reducing Aggression: The Benefits of Delaying Retaliatory Responses.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(5), 867-877.
  • Dressler, J. (2019). Understanding Criminal Law (8th ed.). Carolina Academic Press.
  • Dunning, D., & Kruger, J. (1999). “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1121-1134.
  • Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Three Rivers Press.
  • Gross, J. J. (2002). “Emotion Regulation: Affective, Cognitive, and Social Consequences.” Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291.
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.
  • Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss. American Psychological Association.
Too Clingy in a Relationship? Understanding Causes, Effects, and Solutions

Clinginess in a relationship often stems from deep-seated emotional needs, past experiences, or attachment styles. While emotional closeness is essential in a relationship, excessive clinginess can create stress and imbalance between partners. This article explores the psychological roots of clingy behavior, its impact on relationships, and strategies to foster healthier attachment patterns.

Understanding Clinginess in Relationships

Being “too clingy” typically refers to an excessive need for reassurance, constant communication, or an overdependence on a partner for emotional stability. Psychologists often link clinginess to attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment, which is characterized by fear of abandonment, high sensitivity to rejection, and a strong desire for closeness (Hazan & Shaver, 1987).

Causes of Clingy Behavior

  1. Attachment Styles
    • According to attachment theory, individuals develop attachment patterns based on their early interactions with caregivers. Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style tend to exhibit clingy behavior in romantic relationships, fearing that their partner will leave them (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth et al., 1978).
  2. Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity
    • Individuals with low self-esteem often seek validation from their partners to feel worthy and secure. A study by Murray et al. (2000) found that people with lower self-esteem tend to be more dependent on their partners’ approval, leading to clingy behaviors.
  3. Past Relationship Trauma
    • Individuals who have experienced abandonment, infidelity, or emotional neglect in past relationships may develop clingy tendencies as a defense mechanism against future loss (Shaver & Mikulincer, 2007).
  4. Fear of Abandonment
    • Fear of abandonment can be deeply rooted in childhood experiences or previous relationships. Studies suggest that unresolved childhood trauma, such as parental divorce or inconsistent caregiving, can lead to anxious behaviors in adulthood (Cassidy & Shaver, 2008).
  5. Codependency
    • Codependency refers to excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, often to the detriment of personal well-being (Beattie, 1987). Clingy individuals may struggle with personal identity outside of their romantic relationship.

Signs of Being Too Clingy

Clinginess manifests in different ways, including:

  • Constant need for reassurance: Frequently seeking affirmation of love and commitment.
  • Over-dependence: Relying on a partner for emotional stability or decision-making.
  • Jealousy and possessiveness: Feeling threatened by a partner’s friendships or activities.
  • Excessive communication: Sending frequent texts or calls and feeling anxious without immediate responses.
  • Lack of personal boundaries: Feeling uncomfortable when apart from the partner for extended periods.

Effects of Clingy Behavior on Relationships

  1. Increased Relationship Strain
    • Overdependence on a partner can create emotional exhaustion and frustration, leading to resentment and conflict (Simpson et al., 1992).
  2. Loss of Personal Identity
    • Individuals who prioritize their relationship over personal growth may struggle with self-identity, leading to decreased self-confidence and autonomy (Feeney, 1999).
  3. Push-Pull Dynamic
    • Clinginess may lead to a push-pull effect, where the partner withdraws due to feeling overwhelmed, which in turn causes the clingy partner to seek even more reassurance (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
  4. Reduced Attraction and Intimacy
    • Research suggests that excessive neediness can lead to a loss of attraction and intimacy over time, as partners may feel suffocated rather than excited about the relationship (Fraley & Davis, 1997).

How to Overcome Clingy Behavior

1. Develop Secure Attachment Patterns

  • Engaging in self-awareness practices and therapy can help individuals shift from anxious attachment to secure attachment (Johnson, 2004).

2. Build Self-Esteem and Independence

  • Strengthening self-worth through hobbies, friendships, and career goals can reduce dependence on a partner for validation (Neff & Vonk, 2009).

3. Improve Communication and Boundaries

  • Establishing healthy boundaries and practicing open communication about needs and expectations helps create a balanced relationship (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

4. Address Past Trauma

  • Therapy, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Attachment-Based Therapy, can help individuals process past relationship traumas and develop healthier emotional responses (Levy et al., 2006).

5. Learn to Self-Soothe

  • Developing coping mechanisms such as mindfulness, journaling, and relaxation techniques can reduce anxiety and promote self-regulation (Siegel, 2012).

Conclusion

While seeking emotional connection is natural in relationships, excessive clinginess can create challenges for both partners. By understanding the underlying causes, recognizing unhealthy patterns, and fostering self-growth, individuals can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships based on security, trust, and mutual independence.

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a seasoned clinical social worker with over 25 years of experience, serving the London, Kentucky area through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Known for his compassionate approach and commitment to quality care, Mr. Collier supports individuals and families with a focus on mental health and well-being. He is available for professional inquiries at (606) 657–0532, extension 101, or by email at [email protected].

References

  • Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
  • Beattie, M. (1987). Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. Hazelden Publishing.
  • Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
  • Cassidy, J., &
Marriage and Happiness

Marriage is often idealized as the pinnacle of love and fulfillment—a fairy-tale ending where happiness is guaranteed. The idea that marriage is a ticket to perpetual joy, however, is a misguided notion that sets couples up for disappointment. While happiness is an important component of a healthy marriage, entering into matrimony with the sole purpose of achieving personal happiness is a fundamentally flawed premise. True marital satisfaction comes from commitment, mutual growth, and shared purpose rather than the fleeting emotion of happiness.

Happiness is Not a Constant State

One of the greatest misconceptions about marriage is that it will sustain perpetual happiness. However, research in psychology suggests that happiness is a fluctuating emotional state influenced by numerous factors, including individual well-being, life circumstances, and external stressors (Lyubomirsky, 2007). Expecting a spouse to provide continual happiness places undue pressure on the relationship, often leading to dissatisfaction when reality does not match expectations.

Studies indicate that while marriage can contribute to overall well-being, the “honeymoon phase” of heightened happiness typically fades within the first two years (Lucas et al., 2003). Once the initial excitement subsides, couples who entered marriage seeking continuous joy may feel disillusioned, mistaking normal relationship challenges as signs of incompatibility or failure.

Marriage Requires Effort, Not Just Emotion

Sustainable, long-term marriages are not built on transient feelings but on mutual effort and resilience. The work of Dr. John Gottman, a leading marriage researcher, emphasizes that successful relationships depend on factors such as emotional attunement, conflict resolution skills, and shared meaning (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Couples who focus solely on personal happiness often neglect the foundational aspects of a relationship, such as communication, compromise, and commitment.

Instead of seeing marriage as a source of happiness, couples should approach it as a partnership where both individuals strive to build a fulfilling life together. This perspective aligns with findings that marital satisfaction is linked to a shared sense of purpose and emotional support rather than just romantic bliss (Finkel et al., 2014).

Marriage is About Giving, Not Just Receiving

A marriage centered on individual happiness can quickly devolve into a transactional relationship, where each partner evaluates whether they are getting enough personal satisfaction. This mindset undermines the essence of marriage, which thrives on giving rather than just receiving. Research shows that acts of generosity and selflessness within a marriage contribute to deeper satisfaction and long-term stability (Algoe et al., 2010).

When individuals enter marriage with a self-focused mindset, they may struggle with the inevitable sacrifices and compromises that come with a shared life. True marital fulfillment arises when partners prioritize mutual growth, emotional intimacy, and a shared vision rather than individual gratification.

Happiness is a Byproduct, Not the Goal

When marriage is approached with the understanding that happiness is a byproduct of commitment rather than the primary objective, couples are more likely to build enduring relationships. Happiness in marriage stems from deep connection, shared experiences, and the ability to navigate life’s challenges together. Expecting marriage to provide happiness without effort is like expecting a garden to flourish without watering and tending to it.

Instead of asking, “Will marriage make me happy?” a more constructive question is, “Am I ready to commit, grow, and build a life with this person?” When happiness is viewed as a natural consequence of a healthy relationship rather than the sole reason for getting married, couples are better prepared for the realities of a lifelong partnership.

If the primary reason for getting married is to be happy, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Happiness is not a permanent state but a byproduct of commitment, mutual support, and shared purpose. A fulfilling marriage requires effort, resilience, and a willingness to grow together, rather than expecting one’s partner to be a constant source of joy. Those who enter marriage with the right mindset—one of dedication and mutual enrichment—are far more likely to experience lasting satisfaction and a deeper, more meaningful connection.

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a seasoned clinical social worker with over 25 years of experience, serving the London, Kentucky area through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Known for his compassionate approach and commitment to quality care, Mr. Collier supports individuals and families with a focus on mental health and well-being. He is available for professional inquiries at (606) 657–0532, extension 101, or by email at [email protected].

References

  • Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It’s the Little Things: Everyday Gratitude as a Booster Shot for Romantic Relationships. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 217–233.
  • Finkel, E. J., Hui, C. M., Carswell, K. L., & Larson, G. M. (2014). The Suffocation of Marriage: Climbing Mount Maslow Without Enough Oxygen. Psychological Inquiry, 25(1), 1–41.
  • Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
  • Lucas, R. E., Clark, A. E., Georgellis, Y., & Diener, E. (2003). Reexamining Adaptation and the Set Point Model of Happiness: Reactions to Changes in Marital Status. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(3), 527–539.
  • Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin.