Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC

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Supporting Veterans and Their Mental Health: A National Responsibility

Veterans have served their country with dedication and, upon returning to civilian life, often face numerous challenges that require our support and understanding. Many veterans experience significant mental health issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. These challenges can hinder their ability to reintegrate into civilian life and maintain relationships, employment, and a healthy lifestyle. Recognizing the mental health needs of veterans and implementing effective support strategies is crucial for honoring their service and supporting their well-being.

The Mental Health Landscape for Veterans

Veterans are at a higher risk of mental health issues compared to the general population. A report from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) indicated that approximately 11-20% of veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD in any given year, and the prevalence is even higher among those who served in the Vietnam War (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Additionally, veterans are at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse issues, with research suggesting that over 25% of veterans experience symptoms related to depression and other mood disorders (Hoge et al., 2004).

A primary cause of these mental health challenges is the exposure to trauma and high-stress situations during service. Repeated exposure to combat, violence, and injury can leave lasting psychological scars that are difficult to heal. This stress may also exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues, making it even more difficult for veterans to transition back to civilian life.

Barriers to Mental Health Care for Veterans

While the VA and other organizations offer resources for veterans, barriers to accessing mental health care persist. According to the RAND Corporation, veterans may face significant obstacles, such as long wait times for appointments, stigma surrounding mental health, and a lack of providers who understand military culture (Tanielian et al., 2018). This stigma can prevent veterans from seeking help, as they may feel that mental health challenges are a sign of weakness or that others will not understand their experiences.

Rural veterans often face additional obstacles due to the lack of nearby mental health resources. Research has shown that nearly a quarter of all veterans live in rural areas, where specialized mental health services may be limited (Weeks et al., 2008). Telemedicine and virtual counseling have helped bridge some of these gaps, but there remains a need for more accessible, culturally informed care tailored to the unique needs of veterans.

Strategies for Supporting Veterans’ Mental Health

  1. Increasing Access to Mental Health Services:
    Expanding mental health resources specifically tailored for veterans is essential. The VA and other organizations are implementing initiatives to reduce wait times, increase the availability of telehealth services, and provide alternative therapies, such as art therapy, music therapy, and mindfulness practices (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Community-based programs can also provide veterans with accessible care, particularly in rural areas.
  2. Building a Community of Support:
    Peer support programs can be highly effective for veterans, as they allow veterans to connect with others who have had similar experiences. Programs like the Veterans Crisis Line and the VA’s Peer Support program connect veterans with trained peers, who provide support, understanding, and guidance. Research suggests that peer support reduces PTSD symptoms and increases veterans’ willingness to seek help (Resnick et al., 2012).
  3. Reducing Stigma through Public Awareness:
    Public awareness campaigns can play a crucial role in reducing stigma around veterans’ mental health issues. Campaigns should focus on educating both veterans and the general public about the commonality of mental health challenges, emphasizing that seeking help is a sign of strength. The VA’s “Make the Connection” campaign is an example of an initiative aimed at reducing stigma and encouraging veterans to pursue mental health treatment (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022).
  4. Encouraging Family Involvement and Support:
    Family members can be a crucial source of support for veterans dealing with mental health issues. Programs that educate family members about PTSD, depression, and other mental health conditions can equip them to support their loved ones effectively. Involving families in therapy sessions can also create a support network that extends beyond formal mental health services, which may improve outcomes for veterans (Monson et al., 2006).
  5. Employment and Reintegration Support:
    Meaningful employment can significantly impact veterans’ mental health and quality of life. Programs like the VA’s Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment services provide veterans with job training, career counseling, and job placement assistance, helping veterans reintegrate into civilian life (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Research shows that veterans who find stable employment report higher levels of satisfaction and mental well-being (Resnik et al., 2012).

A Call to Action

Supporting veterans’ mental health is not only a moral duty but also a way to ensure the well-being of individuals who have made profound sacrifices. By addressing the barriers veterans face in accessing mental health care, expanding peer support networks, reducing stigma, and providing employment and family support, society can help veterans lead healthier and more fulfilling lives. Moreover, these actions honor their service by providing the respect, care, and compassion they deserve.

We must continue to advocate for policies that support veterans’ mental health, fund research into effective treatments, and raise public awareness about the unique challenges veterans face. Providing veterans with the resources and support they need to thrive is one of the most meaningful ways we can repay them for their service and dedication to our country.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

Hoge, C. W., Castro, C. A., Messer, S. C., McGurk, D., Cotting, D. I., & Koffman, R. L. (2004). Combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, mental health problems, and barriers to care. New England Journal of Medicine, 351(1), 13-22.

Monson, C. M., Schnurr, P. P., Stevens, S. P., & Guthrie, K. A. (2006). Cognitive-behavioral conjoint therapy for PTSD: Pilot results from a community sample. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 19(3), 289-299.

Resnick, S. G., & Rosenheck, R. A. (2012). Integrating peer-provided services: A quasi-experimental study of recovery orientation, confidence, and empowerment. Psychiatric Services, 63(6), 541-547.

Tanielian, T., Jaycox, L. H., & RAND Corporation. (2008). Invisible Wounds of War: Psychological and Cognitive Injuries, Their Consequences, and Services to Assist Recovery. RAND Corporation.

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (2022). PTSD: National Center for PTSD. https://www.ptsd.va.gov

Do I Act “Entitled”? A Teenager’s Perspective

In today’s world, the concept of “entitlement” is often associated with young people. But what does it really mean to be “entitled”? At its core, entitlement is a sense of deserving special treatment or privileges without necessarily earning them (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). While entitlement isn’t inherently bad, when unchecked, it can lead to negative behaviors and strained relationships. This article aims to help you, as a teenager, understand entitlement from your perspective and how it might impact your life.

 What is Entitlement?

Entitlement is a mindset where people believe they deserve certain rights or privileges without putting in effort or showing gratitude. It’s like expecting a reward without doing the work or expecting things to go your way just because you want them to. Psychologists Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. W. Keith Campbell define it as “a stable and pervasive sense that one deserves more and is entitled to more than others” (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). This can sometimes show up as expecting praise for things that should be standard or demanding special treatment in different situations.

 Signs of Entitlement in Teenagers

According to psychologists, entitlement can sometimes develop naturally during teenage years as you seek more independence and explore self-identity (APA, 2013). Here are some common signs of entitlement to reflect on:

  1. Expecting Praise for Basic Responsibilities  If you often expect praise for everyday responsibilities, like finishing your homework or chores, this might be a sign of entitlement. While appreciation is important, basic responsibilities are usually expected without special recognition.
  2. Demanding Special Treatment  Entitlement can show up when you believe you should be treated differently just because of who you are. For instance, if you often feel frustrated when others don’t give you special privileges, it may be worth reflecting on why you feel that way.
  3. Ignoring Others’ Needs  Entitlement can lead to a focus on one’s own needs while overlooking others. If you frequently expect your family or friends to go out of their way for you, without offering support in return, it might be a sign of an entitled attitude.
  4. 4. Struggling with Criticism or Rejection  Those with entitled mindsets often have a hard time handling criticism or rejection. If you find yourself getting overly defensive or hurt when people offer constructive feedback, it could be a sign of entitlement.

 Why Does Entitlement Happen?

Entitlement can sometimes be a byproduct of wanting to feel special or unique. During adolescence, as you figure out who you are, it’s normal to crave validation. However, the rise of social media can add pressure to appear “successful” or “popular,” which sometimes fuels entitled thinking (Kross & Verduyn, 2018). Additionally, cultural factors, like messages in media, often promote self-focus and immediate gratification, which can also impact how entitled we feel.

Family environment and upbringing also play a role. For example, when parents give constant praise without boundaries or shield children from any failure, it can lead to entitlement (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). This isn’t to say praise is harmful, but balance is key.

 The Downsides of Entitlement

While a small amount of entitlement can build confidence, too much can create challenges. Research shows that entitled attitudes are linked to difficulty in relationships, dissatisfaction with life, and even increased mental health struggles, like depression and anxiety (Grubbs & Exline, 2016). When we expect too much from others, we risk pushing people away and experiencing disappointment when things don’t go our way.

Entitlement can also hinder personal growth. By always expecting others to meet your needs, you may miss out on learning resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills, which are essential for navigating adulthood.

 How to Recognize and Reduce Entitlement

1. Practice Gratitude  One of the simplest ways to combat entitlement is to cultivate gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you lack or what you deserve, take time each day to recognize things you’re grateful for. Research shows that practicing gratitude can increase happiness and reduce feelings of entitlement (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

2. Work on Self-Awareness     Reflect on your actions and motives. Ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I feel I deserve special treatment, or am I genuinely interested in contributing?” By becoming more aware of your thoughts and actions, you can shift toward a more balanced perspective.

3. Learn to Accept Criticism  Learning to accept constructive criticism is a valuable skill that helps build resilience. Instead of feeling hurt or defensive, try to see criticism as an opportunity to grow and improve.

4. Build Empathy     Practice thinking about others’ perspectives and needs. Ask yourself how your actions impact others. Empathy helps build meaningful relationships and reduces entitlement by reminding you that others have their own needs and challenges.

5. Develop a Growth Mindset  Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset suggests that people who focus on growth over fixed achievements are more likely to be successful and satisfied in life (Dweck, 2006). By focusing on effort and improvement rather than expecting outcomes, you can shift away from entitlement.

Recognizing entitlement can be challenging, especially when society often reinforces a “me-first” mentality. However, by practicing gratitude, empathy, and self-awareness, you can avoid the pitfalls of entitlement and develop stronger, healthier relationships with those around you. Remember, the path to true confidence and self-worth doesn’t come from expecting special treatment but from treating others and yourself with respect and understanding.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

 References

  • American Psychological Association. (2013). Developing Adolescents: A Reference for Professionals. American Psychological Association.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  • Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.
  • Grubbs, J. B., & Exline, J. J. (2016). Trait entitlement as an emotion regulation strategy: A longitudinal study of its effects on perceived stress, depressive symptoms, and self-esteem. Journal of Research in Personality, 61, 27-34.
  • Kross, E., & Verduyn, P. (2018). Social media and well-being: Pitfalls, progress, and next steps. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 22(7), 558-560.
  • Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Soldiers: Understanding, Effects, and Treatment

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that has long affected soldiers and military personnel, often impacting their lives in profound ways. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, up to 20% of veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan experience PTSD, underscoring the prevalence of this condition among soldiers who endure the harsh realities of combat and warfare. This article explores the causes, symptoms, and effects of PTSD in soldiers, examines various treatment options, and discusses emerging approaches to care.

Causes of PTSD in Soldiers

PTSD is generally triggered by exposure to traumatic events. For soldiers, combat is a primary source of trauma, involving life-threatening situations, witnessing injury or death, and enduring extreme physical and emotional stress. Studies have found that prolonged and repeated exposure to combat conditions increases the risk of PTSD, particularly if soldiers are subjected to high levels of intensity and frequency of traumatic events (American Psychological Association, 2020). Further risk factors include military rank, training, and support systems, with enlisted personnel and those lacking robust support networks being more vulnerable (Gradus, 2023).

The severity of PTSD symptoms often varies based on the intensity and nature of the traumatic events experienced. For instance, individuals who encounter close combat situations or who witness the death of comrades are more likely to develop severe PTSD symptoms (Hoge et al., 2004).

Symptoms of PTSD in Soldiers

PTSD symptoms are generally grouped into four categories:

  1. Intrusive Thoughts: Soldiers with PTSD often experience unwanted, distressing memories or flashbacks of traumatic events, causing them to relive the traumatic moment repeatedly.
  2. Avoidance: Avoiding situations, people, or places that remind the individual of the trauma is a common coping mechanism. Soldiers might withdraw from social settings or avoid seeking help.
  3. Negative Changes in Thought and Mood: Symptoms may include persistent negative emotions, distorted beliefs about oneself or others, and a feeling of detachment from family and friends.
  4. Hyperarousal and Reactivity: PTSD often causes soldiers to experience heightened anxiety, irritability, or hypervigilance. They may have difficulty sleeping and feel constantly on edge (National Institute of Mental Health, 2021).

In military contexts, PTSD can lead to significant challenges in social and family relationships, making reintegration into civilian life difficult. Soldiers may experience guilt over actions taken or not taken in combat, known as moral injury, which exacerbates the symptoms of PTSD (Litz et al., 2009).

Effects of PTSD on Soldiers’ Lives

PTSD can have a severe impact on veterans’ physical, mental, and emotional well-being, with potential long-term consequences that affect not only the individual but also their families and communities. Some of the major effects include:

  • Depression and Anxiety: Soldiers with PTSD often experience comorbid depression and anxiety, which can further complicate their recovery. The stress and trauma they face in combat environments have lasting effects that increase susceptibility to these conditions.
  • Substance Abuse: To cope with symptoms, many veterans turn to alcohol or drugs, which often results in dependency issues. Research has shown that PTSD and substance use disorders are closely linked in military populations, with soldiers attempting to self-medicate to alleviate PTSD symptoms (Seal et al., 2011).
  • Suicidal Ideation and Attempts: PTSD is a significant risk factor for suicide among veterans, with some studies indicating that the risk of suicide is higher among those with PTSD than the general population (Kang et al., 2015).
  • Difficulties in Employment and Social Reintegration: Veterans with PTSD may struggle to find and maintain stable employment due to symptoms such as hyperarousal, anxiety, and avoidance, impacting their social and economic well-being. Reintegration challenges, compounded by stigmatization of mental health issues, further isolate veterans from support systems that could aid in their recovery.

Treatment Options for PTSD in Soldiers

A wide range of treatment options is available for soldiers with PTSD. The goal of these treatments is not only to alleviate symptoms but to enable veterans to lead fulfilling lives after service. Treatments can be broadly categorized into:

  1. Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), are among the most effective treatments for PTSD. CBT helps patients process and alter their trauma-related thoughts and behaviors, while EMDR helps in processing traumatic memories by stimulating the brain’s natural healing process (Watkins et al., 2018).
  2. Pharmacotherapy: Antidepressants like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly prescribed for PTSD, as they help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression. Medication, however, is often used alongside psychotherapy rather than as a standalone treatment (VA/DoD Clinical Practice Guideline, 2017).
  3. Group Therapy and Support Groups: These provide veterans with a community that understands their experiences, fostering a support system that can help them cope with the effects of trauma. Research indicates that group therapy is particularly beneficial for soldiers, as it promotes shared understanding and mutual support (Browne et al., 2016).
  4. Emerging Treatments: New therapies, such as virtual reality exposure therapy (VRET) and MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, have shown promising results. VRET immerses patients in a controlled, simulated environment to help them confront and process traumatic experiences. MDMA-assisted therapy, under clinical investigation, has demonstrated significant reductions in PTSD symptoms in early trials (Mithoefer et al., 2018).

Challenges in Addressing PTSD in Military Contexts

Despite available treatments, several challenges remain in addressing PTSD among soldiers. A significant barrier is stigma—many military personnel fear seeking help for PTSD due to concerns about appearing weak or unfit for duty. Additionally, the military structure can sometimes be resistant to mental health care initiatives, emphasizing resilience and self-reliance over seeking assistance. Efforts are ongoing to destigmatize PTSD and encourage open discussions about mental health in military settings (Hoge et al., 2004).

Accessibility of mental health services is another issue. Many veterans live in rural areas with limited access to specialized PTSD treatments. Telemedicine has been identified as a potential solution, offering remote therapy sessions that improve access for veterans in underserved areas (Rosen et al., 2017).

Conclusion

PTSD remains a significant mental health concern for soldiers, with far-reaching impacts on individuals, families, and communities. The military context poses unique challenges for both the onset and treatment of PTSD, underscoring the need for continued research, awareness, and innovation in treatment options. By addressing stigma and improving access to mental health care, society can better support veterans in managing PTSD and lead them toward healthier, more fulfilling lives post-service.

This article was written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the Social Work field. He currently serves as the Executive Director and Outpatient provider for Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health based out of London Kentucky. He may be reached at (606) 657-0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com

References

  • American Psychological Association. (2020). PTSD and the Military. Retrieved from APA.org.
  • Gradus, J. (2023). PTSD in Military Veterans. VA National Center for PTSD. Retrieved from PTSD.va.gov.
  • Hoge, C. W., et al. (2004). Combat Duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, Mental Health Problems, and Barriers to Care. The New England Journal of Medicine, 351(1), 13-22.
  • Kang, H. K., et al. (2015). Association of PTSD with increased suicide risk among veterans. Journal of Military Medicine, 180(9), 982-989.
  • Litz, B. T., et al. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695-706.
  • Mithoefer, M. C., et al. (2018). MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD: A breakthrough therapy. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 32(1), 4-12.
  • National Institute of Mental Health. (2021). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Retrieved from NIMH.nih.gov.
  • Rosen, C. S., et al. (2017). Telemedicine for PTSD: A review of clinical evidence and practice. Telemedicine and e-Health, 23(3), 192-202.
  • Seal, K. H., et al. (2011). Substance use disorders in Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. Journal of Addiction Medicine, 5(1), 5-10.
  • VA/DoD Clinical Practice Guideline. (2017). Management of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Stress Reaction. Department of Veterans Affairs.
Can Someone Change Their Love Language?

The concept of love languages was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his 1992 book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” Chapman’s theory posits that people express and experience love in one of five primary ways: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These love languages help individuals and couples better understand each other’s emotional needs. A common question that arises is whether love languages are static or if they can change over time. In fact, research and anecdotal evidence suggest that a person’s love language can shift due to a variety of factors.

Understanding Love Languages

Chapman’s theory emphasizes that every individual has a primary love language—one that resonates the most in making them feel loved and appreciated. However, it’s important to recognize that love languages are not rigid personality traits but dynamic preferences that can evolve. According to Dr. Chapman, love languages are shaped by upbringing, cultural influences, and past experiences, but they are also adaptable as we navigate through life changes.

Can Love Languages Change?

Several factors can lead to shifts in a person’s love language over time:

  1. Life Transitions and Circumstances
    Major life events such as marriage, parenthood, career changes, or even personal crises can lead to a shift in how individuals prioritize love languages. For instance, someone whose primary love language used to be Words of Affirmation may find themselves valuing Acts of Service after becoming a parent. The practical help offered by a partner during stressful periods may feel like the most profound expression of love. Research suggests that significant life events and environmental contexts can shift what people value most in relationships (Neff & Karney, 2009).
  2. Changes in Relationship Dynamics
    As relationships evolve, partners may learn to express love in new ways or find new ways of feeling loved. A study by Horan & Booth-Butterfield (2013) found that partners in long-term relationships tend to adapt their communication styles and emotional expressions over time. In such cases, love languages can shift in response to changing relationship dynamics. For example, a person who previously valued Receiving Gifts may, over time, begin to prioritize Quality Time if the relationship has grown emotionally distant.
  3. Personal Growth and Emotional Maturity
    Emotional and psychological development can also influence a person’s love language. People evolve, and their emotional needs do too. An individual who has gone through therapy, for instance, may become more comfortable with Physical Touch after working through issues related to intimacy. Similarly, someone who has gained confidence or self-assurance might find that they now crave Words of Affirmation less than before. Research on emotional intelligence highlights that as people become more emotionally mature, their ways of connecting with others evolve (Schutte et al., 2001).

Adaptability and Communication in Relationships

It’s essential to note that just because a person’s love language may change doesn’t mean that love languages are irrelevant or overly fluid. The primary purpose of love languages is to enhance communication in relationships, and as such, being attuned to these shifts is crucial. When individuals notice their love language or their partner’s has changed, open communication is key to ensuring that both partners feel supported and loved.

According to Chapman (2010), couples should regularly check in with one another about their emotional needs, as this allows them to adapt and accommodate shifts in love languages. It’s not uncommon for couples to experience a shift in the ways they express love, especially as they mature and face new challenges together.

Conclusion

While a person’s love language may feel like an integral part of their identity, it’s clear that love languages can change over time. Whether influenced by life circumstances, relationship dynamics, or personal growth, individuals may find their emotional needs evolving. This is a natural part of human development. The key to sustaining healthy relationships lies in the ability to recognize and adapt to these changes through ongoing communication and mutual understanding.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. John has over 25 years experience in the Social Work Field. He currently serves as the Executive Director and Provider within Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health based out of London Kentucky. He may be reached at (606) 657-0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

Chapman, G. (1992). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing.
Chapman, G. (2010). The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Horan, S. M., & Booth-Butterfield, M. (2013). Understanding the Communicative Aspects of Love: Interpersonal Communication in Romantic Relationships. Communication Quarterly, 61(5), 552-567.
Neff, L. A., & Karney, B. R. (2009). Stress and Reappraisal of Marital Interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97(3), 561–576.
Schutte, N. S., Malouff, J. M., Simunek, M., McKenley, J., & Hollander, S. (2001). Characteristic Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Well-Being. Cognition & Emotion, 16(6), 769-785.

Five Good Ways to Relax

Relaxation is essential for maintaining mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In today’s fast-paced world, finding ways to unwind can be challenging, but it is crucial for stress reduction, mental clarity, and overall health. This article explores five effective ways to relax, supported by research and expert advice.

1. Mindful Meditation

Mindful meditation is one of the most powerful techniques for relaxation. It involves focusing your attention on the present moment, often through controlled breathing, and acknowledging thoughts or sensations without judgment. Research has shown that meditation reduces stress, improves concentration, and fosters a sense of calm.

A study published in Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging found that regular meditation can actually change the brain, increasing gray matter in areas associated with learning, memory, and emotional regulation (Hölzel et al., 2011). By taking just 10-20 minutes a day to practice mindfulness, individuals can experience significant reductions in anxiety and stress.

Mindfulness meditation can be practiced anywhere, whether it’s in a quiet room, at work, or even during a walk. Apps like Headspace and Calm have made it easier to get started with guided meditation sessions for beginners and experienced practitioners alike.

2. Exercise

Physical activity is a highly effective way to relax the body and mind. Whether it’s running, yoga, swimming, or even walking, exercise triggers the release of endorphins—natural chemicals in the brain that act as stress relievers. Exercise also reduces the body’s levels of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), regular physical activity can significantly improve mood, reduce anxiety, and combat the negative effects of stress (APA, 2013). For instance, yoga, a form of exercise that combines physical movement with breathing techniques, has been shown to reduce stress and enhance overall well-being. A study published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine found that yoga reduces cortisol levels and can lead to a reduction in perceived stress (Ross et al., 2013).

Engaging in just 30 minutes of physical activity a few times a week can have profound effects on relaxation and overall mental health.

3. Reading

Reading for pleasure is an excellent way to relax, especially when you get absorbed in a good book. When reading a novel or engaging content, the mind gets a break from daily worries and stressors. Research has shown that reading can reduce stress levels significantly in a short period.

A study from the University of Sussex found that reading for just six minutes can lower stress levels by up to 68%, making it a more effective stress-relief activity than listening to music, drinking tea, or taking a walk (Lewis, 2009). Reading transports the brain into a different world, giving your mind an opportunity to rest and rejuvenate.

Fiction, self-help, and even poetry are good genres to consider when choosing reading material for relaxation. The key is to choose something that interests and engages you.

4. Deep Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing is one of the simplest yet most effective relaxation techniques. By focusing on slow, deep breaths, the body’s parasympathetic nervous system is activated, which helps counteract the “fight or flight” stress response.

Dr. Herbert Benson, a pioneer in the field of mind-body medicine, developed a technique called the “relaxation response,” which emphasizes deep breathing as a way to induce a state of calm and reduce stress (Benson, 1975). This response involves sitting quietly, closing your eyes, and breathing deeply while repeating a word or phrase to yourself, creating a peaceful, meditative state.

One of the most common techniques is “4-7-8 breathing,” which involves inhaling for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds, and exhaling slowly for eight seconds. This method has been shown to slow heart rate and promote a sense of relaxation.

5. Spending Time in Nature

Spending time outdoors, whether walking in a park, hiking in the mountains, or simply sitting by a body of water, can have profound effects on relaxation and mental well-being. Nature exposure reduces stress, improves mood, and can even lower blood pressure.

A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that spending as little as 20 minutes in a natural setting can significantly lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol (Hunter et al., 2019). The calming effect of nature, often referred to as “forest bathing” or “shinrin-yoku” in Japan, has been extensively studied for its ability to promote relaxation and improve mental health.

The sounds of nature, fresh air, and greenery provide a peaceful environment that helps reduce the mental and physical toll of stress. Even a short walk in a park or garden can be enough to reset your mind and reduce anxiety.

Conclusion

Relaxation is vital for maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle. By incorporating mindful meditation, regular exercise, reading, deep breathing exercises, and spending time in nature into your daily routine, you can significantly reduce stress and improve your overall well-being. Each of these methods is supported by scientific research and provides effective, accessible ways to unwind and recharge.

This article was written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field. He currently serves as the executive Director and practitioner at Southeast Kentucky Behavioral health based out of London, Kentucky. John may be reached at 606-657-0532 extension 101 or by email at John @SEKYBH.com.

References

• American Psychological Association (2013). Exercise Fuels Mental Health. Retrieved from APA.

• Benson, H. (1975). The Relaxation Response. William Morrow and Company.

• Hölzel, B. K., Carmody, J., Vangel, M., Congleton, C., Yerramsetti, S. M., Gard, T., & Lazar, S. W. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36-43.

• Hunter, M. R., Gillespie, B. W., & Chen, S. Y. P. (2019). Urban Nature Experiences Reduce Stress in the Context of Daily Life Based on Salivary Biomarkers. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 722.

• Lewis, D. (2009). Galaxy Stress Research. Mindlab International, University of Sussex.

• Ross, A., Thomas, S. (2013). The Health Benefits of Yoga and Exercise: A Review of Comparison Studies. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 16(1), 3-12.

Do You Miss the Way It Was or Do You Miss the Way It Should Have Been?

Feelings of nostalgia and regret are common in life’s journey, especially when reflecting on relationships, past experiences, or significant life changes. Yet, a subtle but important question often arises when people reflect on their past: Do you miss the way it was, or do you miss the way it should have been? This question speaks to the tension between remembering actual past events and yearning for an idealized version of what those experiences could have been. Examining this distinction can help us understand ourselves better, find closure, and learn to move forward in healthier ways.

1. Nostalgia and the Idealization of the Past

Nostalgia is a complex emotion that involves a yearning for the past. While it can evoke warm, comforting feelings, it can also distort memories. Psychologists describe nostalgia as bittersweet because it often involves idealizing the past, focusing on positive memories while downplaying the negative ones (Wildschut et al., 2006). People often miss “the way it was” because nostalgia smooths over the rough edges of reality, leaving only memories of joy, comfort, or connection.

However, nostalgia doesn’t always provide an accurate reflection of past events. A study published in Memory found that nostalgic memories tend to be colored by emotion, leading people to remember the past as more positive than it may have been (Sedikides & Wildschut, 2018). This idealization can sometimes cause individuals to miss the way things “were” without fully acknowledging the challenges or flaws in those past experiences.

On the other hand, some people find themselves missing not what actually happened, but what could have happened. This feeling stems from regret and the recognition that certain situations didn’t unfold as hoped. In this case, they are mourning the loss of an imagined future—a version of events that, in their minds, should have been different or better.

2. Regret and the Longing for What Could Have Been

Regret is a powerful emotion that arises when people feel they have lost out on an opportunity or failed to achieve a desired outcome. Unlike nostalgia, which tends to idealize the past, regret focuses on the gap between reality and expectation. In relationships, careers, or personal decisions, people often feel regret when they realize that things didn’t turn out as they had envisioned.

Research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science indicates that people experience more intense regret over inactions than actions. In other words, people are more likely to regret the things they didn’t do, the words they didn’t say, or the opportunities they didn’t take (Gilovich & Medvec, 1995). This leads to a feeling of missing “the way it should have been”—an alternate reality where different choices led to better outcomes.

This type of regret can be particularly painful because it involves a sense of lost potential. When people think about missed opportunities or paths not taken, they often create a mental image of an idealized version of their lives—one where they made the right choices, found happiness, or achieved success. However, these idealized scenarios are often based on an assumption that everything would have worked out perfectly, which may not be a realistic view.

3. The Role of Expectations in Shaping Our Perceptions

Expectations play a central role in determining whether we miss “the way it was” or “the way it should have been.” When expectations are high, and reality falls short, regret is more likely to surface. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s prospect theory suggests that people are more sensitive to losses than to gains. As a result, when reality doesn’t meet our expectations, it feels like a loss, even if the outcome wasn’t inherently negative (Kahneman & Tversky, 1979).

For example, in relationships, people may mourn what “should have been” if they expected certain outcomes—such as lifelong commitment, emotional support, or mutual understanding—that were never realized. When these expectations go unmet, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, regret, and even bitterness. People may find themselves asking “what if?” and dwelling on the possibility that things could have been better if only certain events had played out differently.

Conversely, when expectations are low, people are more likely to look back on the past with nostalgia, finding comfort in the way things were. This is because their expectations were already aligned with reality, allowing them to accept the past as it was without feeling like something better was lost.

4. Grieving Unlived Lives

One of the most difficult aspects of missing “the way it should have been” is grieving the life or relationship that never existed. This concept is related to ambiguous loss, a term coined by psychologist Pauline Boss. Ambiguous loss refers to a type of grief where the object of loss is unclear or unresolved (Boss, 1999). In the context of regret, people may grieve not only for relationships or opportunities that ended but also for the potential that those situations held.

This type of grief can be complex because it involves mourning for something that was never real. People may find themselves dwelling on questions like, “What if I had married someone else?” or “What if I had pursued a different career?” These thoughts can prevent closure because they keep the individual tied to a hypothetical scenario rather than accepting reality.

In these cases, it’s essential to acknowledge the grief associated with unrealized potential, but also to recognize that these imagined lives are just that—imagined. Acceptance and self-compassion are critical in moving forward from this type of loss (Neff, 2003).

5. Moving Forward: Embracing Acceptance and Growth

Whether someone is missing “the way it was” or “the way it should have been,” learning to let go and embrace acceptance is key to moving forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean denying emotions like regret or nostalgia, but rather acknowledging them without letting them control one’s life.

Practicing self-compassion can help individuals cope with regret and missed opportunities. According to researcher Kristin Neff, self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, recognizing your common humanity, and being mindful of your feelings without judgment (Neff, 2003). By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can begin to release unrealistic expectations and move forward with a greater sense of peace.

Similarly, mindfulness can be a powerful tool in preventing the mind from becoming trapped in the past. A study published in Psychological Science found that mindfulness practices help individuals stay focused on the present moment, reducing rumination on past regrets or missed opportunities (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

Conclusion

The question of whether we miss “the way it was” or “the way it should have been” speaks to the complexity of human emotions and memory. Nostalgia and regret are two sides of the same coin, each reflecting a different way of engaging with the past. While nostalgia often idealizes the past, regret fixates on the gap between expectations and reality. By understanding these emotional responses, we can gain insight into our inner world and learn to move forward with greater acceptance, self-compassion, and emotional resilience.

References

  • Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief. Harvard University Press.
  • Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1995). The Experience of Regret: What, When, and Why. Psychological Review, 102(2), 379-395.
  • Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263-291.
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.
  • Neff, K. D. (2003). The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250.
  • Sedikides, C., & Wildschut, T. (2018). Finding Meaning in Nostalgia. Review of General Psychology, 22(1), 48-61.
  • Wildschut, T., Sedikides, C., Arndt, J., & Routledge, C. (2006). Nostalgia: Content, Triggers, Functions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 975-993.

Navigating the Transition: How Men Can Use Ways to Cope with Adjusting to Life After Retirement

Retirement marks a significant milestone in a man’s life, signaling the end of a long and fulfilling career and the beginning of a new chapter filled with opportunities for leisure, personal growth, and exploration. While retirement can bring about a sense of freedom and relaxation, it can also present challenges as men adjust to a life without the structure and routine of work. Just as Ways helps drivers navigate unfamiliar roads, men can utilize strategies and tools to help them navigate the transition to retirement successfully. Each topic in this article will spark a new article each week in this series on men “Navigating the Transition”

1.  Set New Goals and Priorities: 

Similar to setting a destination in Waze, men should establish new goals and priorities for their retirement years. Whether it’s pursuing a long-held passion, traveling to new destinations, or spending more time with family and friends, having clear goals can provide a sense of direction and purpose in retirement.

2.  Create a Routine

Retirement can disrupt the daily routine that many men are accustomed to during their working years. Establishing a new routine can help create structure and stability in retirement. Setting aside time for exercise, hobbies, social activities, and relaxation can help men adjust to their new lifestyle and maintain a sense of balance.

3.  Stay Socially Connected:

Social connections play a crucial role in mental and emotional well-being. Just as Ways provides real-time updates and traffic information, staying connected with friends, family, and community groups can help men navigate the social landscape of retirement. Joining clubs, volunteering, or participating in group activities can provide opportunities for social interaction and support.

4.  Explore New Opportunities:

Retirement offers a unique opportunity for men to explore new interests and experiences. Just as Ways suggests alternative routes, men should be open to trying new things and stepping outside their comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause they are passionate about, or embarking on a new adventure, embracing new opportunities can enrich their retirement years.

5.  Manage Finances Wisely:

Financial planning is essential for a smooth transition into retirement. Men should review their financial situation, create a budget, and make informed decisions about their retirement savings and investments. Seeking guidance from a financial advisor can help men navigate the financial aspects of retirement and ensure their financial security in the years ahead.

6.  Prioritize Self-Care:

Taking care of one’s physical and mental health is crucial during the retirement years. Just as Ways helps drivers reach their destination safely, men should prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management. Engaging in activities that promote well-being can help men maintain their health and vitality in retirement.

Adjusting to life after retirement is a significant transition for men that requires careful planning, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace new experiences. By utilizing strategies and tools like Ways to navigate the challenges of retirement, men can successfully transition into this new phase of life with confidence and purpose. Retirement is not the end of the road but a new beginning—a time to explore, grow, and enjoy the journey ahead.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

Sources:

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