Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC

Tag Peer pressure

Do I Act “Entitled”? A Teenager’s Perspective

In today’s world, the concept of “entitlement” is often associated with young people. But what does it really mean to be “entitled”? At its core, entitlement is a sense of deserving special treatment or privileges without necessarily earning them (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). While entitlement isn’t inherently bad, when unchecked, it can lead to negative behaviors and strained relationships. This article aims to help you, as a teenager, understand entitlement from your perspective and how it might impact your life.

 What is Entitlement?

Entitlement is a mindset where people believe they deserve certain rights or privileges without putting in effort or showing gratitude. It’s like expecting a reward without doing the work or expecting things to go your way just because you want them to. Psychologists Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. W. Keith Campbell define it as “a stable and pervasive sense that one deserves more and is entitled to more than others” (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). This can sometimes show up as expecting praise for things that should be standard or demanding special treatment in different situations.

 Signs of Entitlement in Teenagers

According to psychologists, entitlement can sometimes develop naturally during teenage years as you seek more independence and explore self-identity (APA, 2013). Here are some common signs of entitlement to reflect on:

  1. Expecting Praise for Basic Responsibilities  If you often expect praise for everyday responsibilities, like finishing your homework or chores, this might be a sign of entitlement. While appreciation is important, basic responsibilities are usually expected without special recognition.
  2. Demanding Special Treatment  Entitlement can show up when you believe you should be treated differently just because of who you are. For instance, if you often feel frustrated when others don’t give you special privileges, it may be worth reflecting on why you feel that way.
  3. Ignoring Others’ Needs  Entitlement can lead to a focus on one’s own needs while overlooking others. If you frequently expect your family or friends to go out of their way for you, without offering support in return, it might be a sign of an entitled attitude.
  4. 4. Struggling with Criticism or Rejection  Those with entitled mindsets often have a hard time handling criticism or rejection. If you find yourself getting overly defensive or hurt when people offer constructive feedback, it could be a sign of entitlement.

 Why Does Entitlement Happen?

Entitlement can sometimes be a byproduct of wanting to feel special or unique. During adolescence, as you figure out who you are, it’s normal to crave validation. However, the rise of social media can add pressure to appear “successful” or “popular,” which sometimes fuels entitled thinking (Kross & Verduyn, 2018). Additionally, cultural factors, like messages in media, often promote self-focus and immediate gratification, which can also impact how entitled we feel.

Family environment and upbringing also play a role. For example, when parents give constant praise without boundaries or shield children from any failure, it can lead to entitlement (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). This isn’t to say praise is harmful, but balance is key.

 The Downsides of Entitlement

While a small amount of entitlement can build confidence, too much can create challenges. Research shows that entitled attitudes are linked to difficulty in relationships, dissatisfaction with life, and even increased mental health struggles, like depression and anxiety (Grubbs & Exline, 2016). When we expect too much from others, we risk pushing people away and experiencing disappointment when things don’t go our way.

Entitlement can also hinder personal growth. By always expecting others to meet your needs, you may miss out on learning resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills, which are essential for navigating adulthood.

 How to Recognize and Reduce Entitlement

1. Practice Gratitude  One of the simplest ways to combat entitlement is to cultivate gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you lack or what you deserve, take time each day to recognize things you’re grateful for. Research shows that practicing gratitude can increase happiness and reduce feelings of entitlement (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

2. Work on Self-Awareness     Reflect on your actions and motives. Ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I feel I deserve special treatment, or am I genuinely interested in contributing?” By becoming more aware of your thoughts and actions, you can shift toward a more balanced perspective.

3. Learn to Accept Criticism  Learning to accept constructive criticism is a valuable skill that helps build resilience. Instead of feeling hurt or defensive, try to see criticism as an opportunity to grow and improve.

4. Build Empathy     Practice thinking about others’ perspectives and needs. Ask yourself how your actions impact others. Empathy helps build meaningful relationships and reduces entitlement by reminding you that others have their own needs and challenges.

5. Develop a Growth Mindset  Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset suggests that people who focus on growth over fixed achievements are more likely to be successful and satisfied in life (Dweck, 2006). By focusing on effort and improvement rather than expecting outcomes, you can shift away from entitlement.

Recognizing entitlement can be challenging, especially when society often reinforces a “me-first” mentality. However, by practicing gratitude, empathy, and self-awareness, you can avoid the pitfalls of entitlement and develop stronger, healthier relationships with those around you. Remember, the path to true confidence and self-worth doesn’t come from expecting special treatment but from treating others and yourself with respect and understanding.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

 References

  • American Psychological Association. (2013). Developing Adolescents: A Reference for Professionals. American Psychological Association.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  • Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.
  • Grubbs, J. B., & Exline, J. J. (2016). Trait entitlement as an emotion regulation strategy: A longitudinal study of its effects on perceived stress, depressive symptoms, and self-esteem. Journal of Research in Personality, 61, 27-34.
  • Kross, E., & Verduyn, P. (2018). Social media and well-being: Pitfalls, progress, and next steps. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 22(7), 558-560.
  • Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.
Understanding and Managing Peer Pressure: A Guide for Parents

Peer pressure, a common part of adolescence, is the influence that individuals within the same age group exert on each other. This influence can impact behaviors, values, and self-perception and may occur directly or indirectly (Steinberg, 2014). While peer pressure can sometimes lead to positive behaviors—such as improved school performance or involvement in community activities—it often leads to risky behaviors, especially during teenage years. As parents, understanding how peer pressure works and knowing how to support your child in managing it can make a significant difference.

Types of Peer Pressure

Peer pressure can take various forms, and understanding these can help parents identify when their child might be under influence:

  1. Direct Peer Pressure: This is the most explicit form and involves a peer openly urging another to engage in a specific behavior (Allen et al., 2006). For example, a teen might directly encourage a friend to try smoking or drinking.
  2. Indirect Peer Pressure: This type is more subtle and may not involve explicit urging. Instead, it stems from the desire to fit in or mimic others’ behaviors to be accepted by a group (Brechwald & Prinstein, 2011). Teens often model themselves after popular peers or those in leadership roles, adopting their behaviors and attitudes.
  3. Positive Peer Pressure: Not all peer pressure is harmful. Positive peer pressure can encourage teens to pursue constructive activities, such as participating in sports, studying harder, or avoiding substances. Friends can support each other in making healthy choices (Simons-Morton & Farhat, 2010).
  4. Negative Peer Pressure: This type involves peers influencing each other to engage in harmful or risky behaviors, including drug or alcohol use, cheating, or skipping school (Gardner & Steinberg, 2005).

The Impact of Peer Pressure on Adolescents

Adolescents are particularly susceptible to peer pressure because of developmental changes. During the teenage years, individuals become more independent from their families and start to rely more on peer relationships for emotional and social support (Albert et al., 2013). Additionally, the adolescent brain is highly sensitive to rewards, and the presence of peers can increase risk-taking behavior (Steinberg, 2014).

Research indicates that peer influence can shape a teen’s values and behaviors more than parental influence during certain stages of adolescence (Simons-Morton & Farhat, 2010). For example, teens who associate with peers involved in substance use are more likely to engage in these behaviors themselves (Allen et al., 2006). However, this influence can also lead to positive behaviors if they are surrounded by supportive and motivated peers.

Recognizing Signs of Peer Pressure

Parents should look out for signs that their child may be experiencing negative peer pressure, which can include:

  • Changes in Behavior or Appearance: Sudden changes in clothing, interests, or behavior may indicate attempts to conform to a peer group.
  • Withdrawal from Family: Increased secrecy, reluctance to share information, or withdrawal from family activities may suggest a shift in influence toward peers.
  • Academic Decline: Dropping grades or lack of interest in school could signal that your teen is prioritizing peer acceptance over responsibilities.
  • Mood Changes: Increased anxiety, mood swings, or depression could be responses to the stress of peer influence or trying to meet unrealistic group expectations (Prinstein & Dodge, 2008).

How Parents Can Support Their Children

1. Open Communication

Fostering open, honest communication is essential. Regular conversations with your child can encourage them to share their feelings and experiences. According to a study by Dishion and Tipsord (2011), teens who have strong parental support and communication are more resilient against negative peer influence.

2. Teach Decision-Making Skills

Help your child develop decision-making skills and build confidence in their own choices. Parents can model assertive behavior and provide their children with tools to resist pressure, such as practicing saying “no” or suggesting alternatives (Albert et al., 2013).

3. Encourage Healthy Friendships

Encourage your teen to build relationships with peers who share positive values. Research shows that supportive friendships can act as a protective factor, reducing susceptibility to negative peer pressure (Allen et al., 2006). Get to know your child’s friends and their parents to understand the influences surrounding your teen.

4. Discuss the Consequences of Risky Behaviors

Have open discussions about the risks associated with certain behaviors, such as substance use or skipping school. Understanding the potential consequences can empower teens to make informed decisions (Simons-Morton & Farhat, 2010).

5. Model Positive Behavior

Parents are influential role models. Demonstrating responsible behavior and discussing how you handle social pressures can provide a framework for your teen (Brechwald & Prinstein, 2011). When teens see their parents handling pressure assertively and responsibly, they are more likely to emulate those behaviors.

6. Provide Positive Reinforcement

Celebrate your teen’s individuality and reinforce their positive choices. Positive reinforcement can increase their confidence, helping them resist the urge to conform to negative influences.

Conclusion

Understanding peer pressure and its impact on teenagers can help parents play an active role in guiding their children. By fostering open communication, modeling positive behaviors, and encouraging healthy friendships, parents can equip their teens with the tools they need to resist negative peer pressure. Supporting teens through these formative years is crucial, helping them build self-confidence and resilience to navigate peer influences effectively.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in thein the Social Work field. He currently serves as the Executive Director and service provider with Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health based out of London Kentucky. Mr. Collier can be reached by phone at (606) 657-0532 extension 101 or by email john@sekybh.com.

References

  • Albert, D., Chein, J., & Steinberg, L. (2013). The Teenage Brain: Peer Influences on Adolescent Decision Making. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(2), 114–120.
  • Allen, J. P., Porter, M. R., McFarland, C., Marsh, P., & McElhaney, K. B. (2006). The Two Faces of Adolescents’ Success with Peers: Adolescent Popularity, Social Adaptation, and Deviant Behavior. Child Development, 76(3), 747–760.
  • Brechwald, W. A., & Prinstein, M. J. (2011). Beyond Homophily: A Decade of Advances in Understanding Peer Influence Processes. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 21(1), 166–179.
  • Dishion, T. J., & Tipsord, J. M. (2011). Peer Contagion in Child and Adolescent Social and Emotional Development. Annual Review of Psychology, 62, 189–214.
  • Gardner, M., & Steinberg, L. (2005). Peer Influence on Risk Taking, Risk Preference, and Risky Decision Making in Adolescence and Adulthood: An Experimental Study. Developmental Psychology, 41(4), 625–635.
  • Prinstein, M. J., & Dodge, K. A. (2008). Understanding Peer Influence in Children and Adolescents. The Guilford Press.
  • Simons-Morton, B., & Farhat, T. (2010). Recent Findings on Peer Group Influences on Adolescent Substance Use. The Journal of Primary Prevention, 31, 191–208.
  • Steinberg, L. (2014). Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.