Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC

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Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Take the Time to Relax?

In today’s fast-paced world, feelings of guilt often accompany moments of rest and relaxation. Many individuals experience anxiety and guilt when taking time for themselves, feeling as if they are neglecting responsibilities or failing to meet societal expectations of productivity. This article explores psychological, cultural, and societal reasons behind the guilt associated with relaxation and offers insights into how individuals can overcome this guilt to achieve a healthier work-life balance.

 The Psychological Basis of Guilt

Guilt, as a psychological experience, can be described as a negative emotional state that arises when one perceives that they have done something wrong or violated personal values. Research suggests that guilt often stems from deeply embedded societal and cultural norms, as well as from internalized expectations about productivity and self-worth (Tangney et al., 2007).

For instance, cognitive theories suggest that individuals may develop “should” statements, such as “I should be working,” which create a sense of duty to be constantly productive (Beck, 1976). This cognitive distortion leads to an emotional response that equates rest with irresponsibility or laziness, thus inducing guilt.

 Cultural and Societal Pressures

Cultural norms around productivity significantly contribute to feelings of guilt. In many cultures, particularly those with strong individualistic values, productivity is often equated with personal value (Hofstede, 1984). In these settings, people may feel that their self-worth is directly tied to their achievements, making it challenging to relax without feeling as though they are compromising their personal value.

Furthermore, the “hustle culture” promoted on social media often glorifies overworking and presents relaxation as a luxury for the unmotivated (Shapiro, 2019). This societal influence can lead people to internalize the belief that downtime is wasted time, thereby increasing the guilt associated with it.

The Role of Personal Values and Work Ethic

For many individuals, personal values and work ethic play a role in the experience of guilt during relaxation. Those who value hard work and efficiency may find it difficult to allow themselves time off without feeling that they are violating their core values (Grant, 2013). This guilt may be especially prominent in individuals with a strong sense of duty or responsibility toward others, such as parents, caregivers, or people in helping professions (Gould & Buss, 2015).

Coping Strategies

Overcoming guilt associated with relaxation requires reframing beliefs around productivity and self-care. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, for instance, can help individuals challenge irrational thoughts around relaxation and redefine it as a necessary component of overall well-being (Beck, 2011). Mindfulness practices also encourage people to stay present in the moment, allowing them to focus on relaxation without ruminating over undone tasks (Kabat-Zinn, 1990).

In addition, developing a structured schedule that includes dedicated time for rest can reduce feelings of guilt. Viewing relaxation as part of a balanced routine, rather than as a diversion from productivity, can help normalize it as a beneficial practice (Levine, 2000).

Feeling guilty about taking time to relax is a common experience that stems from psychological, cultural, and personal factors. Understanding the origins of this guilt and practicing techniques to reframe one’s mindset can help individuals find greater balance. Recognizing that relaxation is essential for well-being, rather than an indulgence, is a vital step in fostering a healthier relationship with oneself.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field. Mr. Collier currently serves as the Executive Director/President and Outpatient service provider through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

  • Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. International Universities Press.
  • Beck, A. T. (2011). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. Guilford Press.
  • Gould, L., & Buss, D. M. (2015). The Psychology of Moral Emotions. Academic Press.
  • Grant, A. M. (2013). Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success. Penguin Books.
  • Hofstede, G. (1984). Culture’s Consequences: International Differences in Work-Related Values. Sage.
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Bantam.
  • Levine, R. (2000). A Geography of Time: The Temporal Misadventures of a Social Psychologist. Basic Books.
  • Shapiro, J. (2019). The paradox of hustle culture: How working nonstop became a status symbol. Journal of Media Psychology, 12(3), 210-217.
  • Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., & Mashek, D. J. (2007). Moral emotions and moral behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 345-372.
How to Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: A Guide for Teens

Being a teenager can be overwhelming. With schoolwork, relationships, extracurricular activities, and the pressure to fit in, it’s easy to feel stressed and distracted. Mindfulness and meditation are two practices that can help you manage these feelings and stay grounded. Learning how to practice mindfulness and meditation can improve your focus, help you manage emotions like anger and anxiety, and contribute to your overall well-being.

This guide will walk you through the basics of mindfulness and meditation, provide tips on how to get started, and explain why these practices can make such a big difference in your life.

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It means focusing on what’s happening right now—your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations—without trying to change or escape from them (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). Being mindful helps you become more aware of your experiences and less reactive to stressful situations.

For teens, mindfulness can be a powerful tool. Whether you’re dealing with social pressure, academic stress, or family issues, practicing mindfulness helps you pause, take a step back, and observe your feelings before reacting impulsively.

What Is Meditation?

Meditation is a mental practice that helps you focus and calm your mind. It often involves focusing on your breath, a word (called a “mantra”), or an object while gently letting go of distractions. There are many types of meditation, but most aim to train your mind to be more present, peaceful, and aware (Torrente, 2019).

For teens, meditation can reduce stress and improve mental clarity. Regular meditation can help you feel more in control of your emotions and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.

Benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation for Teens

Practicing mindfulness and meditation has numerous benefits, especially during the turbulent teenage years. Here are some of the ways these practices can help you:

  1. Improved Focus and Concentration: Mindfulness helps train your brain to focus on one thing at a time. This skill is especially helpful for improving concentration on schoolwork (Galla, 2016).
  2. Better Emotional Regulation: Mindfulness allows you to notice your emotions without being overwhelmed by them. You’ll learn to pause and respond calmly rather than react impulsively (Sukhodolsky et al., 2017).
  3. Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Regular meditation can lower stress and anxiety levels by calming the mind and body, making you feel more relaxed and centered (Torrente, 2019).
  4. Enhanced Self-Awareness: Practicing mindfulness makes you more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This can help you understand yourself better and make healthier decisions (Child Mind Institute, 2020).
  5. Improved Relationships: Being mindful can help you communicate better, listen more attentively, and respond thoughtfully, which can improve your relationships with friends and family (Friedman, 2020).

How to Practice Mindfulness as a Teen

You don’t need special equipment or a lot of time to start practicing mindfulness. Here are a few simple ways to begin:

  1. Mindful Breathing
  • Sit comfortably and focus on your breath.
  • Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, and then exhale through your mouth for four.
  • As you breathe, pay attention to the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body.
  • If your mind starts to wander (which is normal), gently bring your focus back to your breath.
  • Do this for 3-5 minutes each day, gradually increasing the time as you get more comfortable.
  1. Body Scan
  • Lie down in a quiet space.
  • Close your eyes and start by focusing on your toes. Notice any sensations, tension, or discomfort.
  • Slowly move your focus up through your legs, torso, arms, and head, paying attention to how each part of your body feels.
  • If you find any tension, imagine breathing into that area and allowing it to relax.
  • This practice helps you become more aware of physical sensations and promotes relaxation.
  1. Mindful Eating
  • The next time you eat, try focusing on the experience of eating.
  • Notice the texture, taste, and smell of the food.
  • Chew slowly and savor each bite without distractions, like your phone or TV.
  • Practicing mindful eating can help you enjoy your food more and prevent overeating.
  1. Mindful Walking
  • While walking, focus on how your feet feel as they touch the ground.
  • This can be a great way to bring mindfulness into your daily routine, especially if you feel overwhelmed or stressed.
  • Notice the rhythm of your steps, the sounds around you, and the way the air feels on your skin.

How to Practice Meditation as a Teen

Meditation takes some practice, but it’s easy to start with just a few minutes a day. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Find a Quiet Place
  • Sit comfortably in a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed.
  • You can sit cross-legged on the floor or in a chair with your feet flat on the ground.
  1. Set a Timer
  • Start with 5 minutes and gradually work your way up to longer sessions as you get used to meditating.
  1. Focus on Your Breath
  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
  • Let your breath return to its natural rhythm and focus on each inhale and exhale.
  • If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
  1. Let Go of Judgments
  • It’s normal for your mind to wander during meditation. Instead of getting frustrated, simply notice when it happens and return your focus to your breathing.
  • Meditation is a practice, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel perfect right away.
  1. Try Guided Meditation
  • If you find it difficult to focus on your own, you can use a guided meditation app or video. These tools can help you stay focused and teach you different techniques.

How to Stay Consistent

Like any skill, mindfulness and meditation take time and practice. Here are some tips to help you stay consistent:

  • Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes each day and slowly increase the time as you become more comfortable.
  • Create a Routine: Try to practice mindfulness or meditation at the same time each day—whether it’s in the morning, after school, or before bed.
  • Be Patient: Don’t expect immediate results. Over time, you’ll notice the benefits of mindfulness and meditation in your everyday life.
  • Use Apps or Videos: There are many great apps like Headspace or Calm that offer guided meditations and mindfulness exercises for beginners.

Conclusion

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools that can help teens manage stress, improve focus, and enhance emotional well-being. By practicing these techniques regularly, you can develop the skills to handle life’s challenges with greater calm and clarity. Remember, it’s okay to start small and be patient with yourself. The more you practice, the more you’ll benefit from these simple but effective techniques.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

Child Mind Institute. (2020). How to Help Kids Manage Anger. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-manage-anger

Friedman, H. S. (2020). The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study. Penguin Books.

Galla, B. M. (2016). Mindfulness, academic achievement, and positive behavior among adolescents: The role of executive function. Journal of Educational Psychology, 108(3), 427-441.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Random House Publishing.

Sukhodolsky, D. G., et al. (2017). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anger and aggression in children and adolescents. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics, 25(4), 623–634.

Torrente, R. (2019). Mindfulness for Teens: Proven Techniques to Reduce Stress, Manage Emotions, and Improve Focus. Rockridge Press.

Navigating the Transition: How Men Can Use Ways to Cope with Adjusting to Life After Retirement

Retirement marks a significant milestone in a man’s life, signaling the end of a long and fulfilling career and the beginning of a new chapter filled with opportunities for leisure, personal growth, and exploration. While retirement can bring about a sense of freedom and relaxation, it can also present challenges as men adjust to a life without the structure and routine of work. Just as Ways helps drivers navigate unfamiliar roads, men can utilize strategies and tools to help them navigate the transition to retirement successfully. Each topic in this article will spark a new article each week in this series on men “Navigating the Transition”

1.  Set New Goals and Priorities: 

Similar to setting a destination in Waze, men should establish new goals and priorities for their retirement years. Whether it’s pursuing a long-held passion, traveling to new destinations, or spending more time with family and friends, having clear goals can provide a sense of direction and purpose in retirement.

2.  Create a Routine

Retirement can disrupt the daily routine that many men are accustomed to during their working years. Establishing a new routine can help create structure and stability in retirement. Setting aside time for exercise, hobbies, social activities, and relaxation can help men adjust to their new lifestyle and maintain a sense of balance.

3.  Stay Socially Connected:

Social connections play a crucial role in mental and emotional well-being. Just as Ways provides real-time updates and traffic information, staying connected with friends, family, and community groups can help men navigate the social landscape of retirement. Joining clubs, volunteering, or participating in group activities can provide opportunities for social interaction and support.

4.  Explore New Opportunities:

Retirement offers a unique opportunity for men to explore new interests and experiences. Just as Ways suggests alternative routes, men should be open to trying new things and stepping outside their comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause they are passionate about, or embarking on a new adventure, embracing new opportunities can enrich their retirement years.

5.  Manage Finances Wisely:

Financial planning is essential for a smooth transition into retirement. Men should review their financial situation, create a budget, and make informed decisions about their retirement savings and investments. Seeking guidance from a financial advisor can help men navigate the financial aspects of retirement and ensure their financial security in the years ahead.

6.  Prioritize Self-Care:

Taking care of one’s physical and mental health is crucial during the retirement years. Just as Ways helps drivers reach their destination safely, men should prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management. Engaging in activities that promote well-being can help men maintain their health and vitality in retirement.

Adjusting to life after retirement is a significant transition for men that requires careful planning, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace new experiences. By utilizing strategies and tools like Ways to navigate the challenges of retirement, men can successfully transition into this new phase of life with confidence and purpose. Retirement is not the end of the road but a new beginning—a time to explore, grow, and enjoy the journey ahead.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

Sources:

  1. Ryan, R. (2019). Retirement reinvention: Make your next act your best act. McGraw-Hill Education.
  2. Zelinski, E. J. (2019). How to retire happy, wild, and free: Retirement wisdom that you won’t get from your financial advisor. Ten Speed Press.
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  2. The Gerontologist. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist
  1. AARP. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.aarp.org
  2. National Institute on Aging. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nia.nih.gov
  1. Society of Behavioral Medicine. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.sbm.org
  2. American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
  1. Employee Benefit Research Institute. (2022). The retirement transition: Insights and strategies. Retrieved from https://www.ebri.org
  2. Psychology Today. (2023). Adjusting to retirement: Psychological perspectives. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
  3. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.hhs.gov