Seeking Help for Anger Management: A Guide for Teens
Anger is a natural human emotion, but when it becomes overwhelming or difficult to control, it can lead to problems in relationships, school, and personal well-being. For many teens, anger can feel like a powerful force that’s hard to manage. While it’s normal to feel angry at times, it’s essential to learn how to deal with this emotion in healthy and productive ways. Seeking help when struggling with anger is a sign of strength, not weakness. This article will explore why teens may struggle with anger, the importance of seeking help, and various ways to get the support they need.
Why Teens Struggle with Anger
Teens experience a variety of changes—physically, emotionally, and socially—that can make it hard to manage emotions like anger. Hormonal shifts during puberty, academic pressures, peer relationships, and conflicts with family can all contribute to frustration and anger. The part of the brain responsible for impulse control and decision-making, the prefrontal cortex, is still developing during adolescence, which can make emotional regulation more challenging (Giedd, 2015).
Additionally, some teens may feel that societal expectations encourage them to suppress emotions or “toughen up” instead of seeking help. This can lead to unhealthy expressions of anger, including aggression or internalizing negative feelings (Friedman, 2020).
Why Seeking Help Is Important
- Promotes Emotional Health
- Seeking help for anger management is crucial for emotional health. Learning to understand and express anger in healthy ways can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, improving overall mental well-being (Sukhodolsky et al., 2017).
- Prevents Destructive Behavior
- Uncontrolled anger can lead to destructive behaviors such as physical altercations, verbal outbursts, or damaging relationships. Seeking help provides teens with tools to manage their anger constructively, preventing these negative outcomes (American Psychological Association [APA], 2021).
- Builds Self-Awareness and Emotional Control
- Working with a counselor, therapist, or trusted adult can help teens become more self-aware of their emotions and triggers. This increased awareness is the first step in developing emotional control, helping teens respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively when they’re angry (Child Mind Institute, 2020).
- Strengthens Relationships
- Learning how to manage anger effectively improves relationships with friends, family, and teachers. When teens can communicate their feelings without becoming hostile, they foster healthier and more respectful connections (LeCroy & Daley, 2020).
Signs It’s Time to Seek Help for Anger
While everyone experiences anger, it’s important to recognize when it’s becoming a problem. Teens should consider seeking help if they:
- Have frequent anger outbursts or aggressive behavior.
- Feel constantly irritable, frustrated, or on edge.
- Find it difficult to calm down once they get angry.
- Experience physical symptoms of anger, such as headaches, rapid heartbeat, or tension.
- Notice that anger is affecting their relationships with friends, family, or teachers.
- Engage in risky or destructive behavior when angry (APA, 2021).
Where Teens Can Seek Help
- Talk to a Trusted Adult: The first step for many teens is talking to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or school counselor. These adults can offer guidance, help you understand your feelings, and suggest ways to cope with anger. They can also help connect you with additional resources if needed (Child Mind Institute, 2020).
- Work with a Therapist or Counselor: Therapy is one of the most effective ways to manage anger. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used to help teens recognize and change negative thought patterns that contribute to anger. A therapist can also teach relaxation techniques, problem-solving skills, and communication strategies to manage anger more effectively (Sukhodolsky et al., 2017).
- Join a Support Group: Support groups can be a great way to meet other teens dealing with similar struggles. These groups provide a safe space to talk about anger, share experiences, and learn coping strategies from peers. Many schools or community centers offer anger management groups for teens (LeCroy & Daley, 2020).
- Use Mental Health Apps: There are several apps designed to help teens manage their emotions, including anger. Apps like Calm, Headspace, and MindShift offer guided meditations, breathing exercises, and mindfulness techniques that can help teens de-stress and calm down when anger arises (Torrente, 2019).
Strategies Teens Can Learn in Therapy for Anger Management
- Identifying Triggers: Therapy helps teens identify the situations, people, or events that trigger their anger. By understanding their triggers, teens can better anticipate and prepare for difficult situations (APA, 2021).
- Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques: Learning deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques helps teens calm their bodies and minds when they start to feel angry. Techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness can reduce the intensity of anger and prevent outbursts (Sukhodolsky et al., 2017).
- Cognitive Restructuring: Cognitive restructuring involves changing the negative thoughts that fuel anger. Therapists teach teens to reframe their thinking and challenge assumptions that may be making them angrier than necessary. For example, instead of thinking, “This person is trying to embarrass me,” a more helpful thought might be, “Maybe they didn’t mean it that way” (LeCroy & Daley, 2020).
- Assertive Communication: Teens learn how to express their feelings assertively, without becoming aggressive or shutting down. Assertive communication involves using “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated when…” rather than blaming others, which can prevent conflicts from escalating (Child Mind Institute, 2020).
- Problem-Solving Skills: Sometimes anger arises because of unresolved problems. Therapy can help teens develop problem-solving skills so that they can address the root causes of their frustration in healthy and constructive ways (Friedman, 2020).
Overcoming Stigma Around Seeking Help
Many teens may hesitate to seek help because of the stigma associated with mental health issues or anger management. However, it’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of emotional strength, not weakness. Everyone needs support at times, and learning how to manage emotions like anger is a vital skill for overall well-being (Giedd, 2015). Overcoming stigma starts with understanding that mental health is just as important as physical health, and getting help is a proactive step toward a healthier and happier life.
Conclusion
Struggling with anger is common for many teens, but it’s essential to know that help is available. Whether it’s talking to a trusted adult, working with a therapist, or joining a support group, seeking help for anger management is a crucial step in improving emotional health and well-being. By learning healthy coping strategies and understanding the underlying causes of anger, teens can gain control over their emotions and build stronger relationships with those around them.
This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.
References
- American Psychological Association. (2021). Controlling Anger Before It Controls You. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
- Child Mind Institute. (2020). How to Help Kids Manage Anger. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-manage-anger
- Friedman, H. S. (2020). The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study. Penguin Books.
- Giedd, J. N. (2015). The Amazing Teen Brain: What Parents Need to Know. National Institute of Mental Health.
- LeCroy, C. W., & Daley, J. (2020). Building Your Ideal Private Practice: A Guide for Therapists and Other Mental Health Professionals. Wiley.
- Sukhodolsky, D. G., et al. (2017). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anger and aggression in children and adolescents. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics, 25(4), 623–634.
- Torrente, R. (2019). Mindfulness for Teens: Proven Techniques to Reduce Stress, Manage Emotions, and Improve Focus. Rockridge Press.