From author and licensed clinical social worker John S. Collier comes a powerful new series of books exploring love, loss, faith, emotional healing, and personal growth. With honesty shaped by both professional experience and a life marked by hardship, perseverance, and grace, Collier invites readers to examine the hidden places of the heart. Each book blends practical wisdom with vivid metaphor, offering encouragement to those learning to release the past, rebuild their identity, establish healthier relationships, and trust God through uncertain seasons. This is more than a collection of books—it is a journey from merely surviving life’s storms to discovering the strength, purpose, and peace needed to live fully again.
https://a.co/d/0gTmck1t
Expressions from Behind His Silence: Valume 3: Thwe Mercy of Open Hands
Some endings do not arrive with anger. They arrive with open hands.
The Mercy of Open Hands, Volume Three of the Expressions from Behind His Silence series, follows a man through heartbreak, acceptance, forgiveness, and the difficult grace of release.
Through intimate, reflective poetry, John S. Collier explores what it means to love someone without possessing them, to carry grief without becoming bitter, and to let go without denying that the love was real.
These poems speak to the moment when holding on begins to wound more than losing—and to the quiet courage required to choose peace.
This collection is for anyone learning that surrender is not weakness, forgiveness does not erase the past, and sometimes the most loving thing the heart can do is open its hands.
Every generation has moments that become permanently etched into memory. For many Americans, September 11, 2001, is one of those moments. It is a day marked by sorrow, sacrifice, courage, and unity. Twenty-five years later, we still remember where we were, how we felt, and the profound impact that day had on our nation and the world.
On the morning of September 11, 2001, nineteen terrorists hijacked four commercial aircraft. Two planes were flown into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, one struck the Pentagon, and a fourth crashed in Pennsylvania after passengers courageously fought back against the hijackers. Nearly 3,000 people lost their lives in what remains the deadliest foreign attack on American soil. Yet while the events of that day revealed unimaginable evil, they also revealed something else: the remarkable strength of the human spirit.
We remember the firefighters who climbed stairwells while others were descending to safety. We remember the police officers who rushed toward danger. We remember emergency medical personnel, military members, volunteers, and ordinary citizens who placed the lives of strangers above their own. More than 2,000 police officers and nearly 1,000 firefighters responded to the World Trade Center attacks, joining countless others in rescue and recovery efforts. Their actions remind us that heroism is not always found in grand speeches or celebrated victories. Often, it is found in quiet acts of service, in selfless sacrifice, and in the willingness to help another human being despite personal risk.
For me, September 11 carries an additional significance. It is the day my son was born.
Over the years, people have often asked what it was like to welcome a child into the world on a day overshadowed by national tragedy. The answer is difficult to put into words. While television screens showed devastation, uncertainty, and heartbreak, I was also witnessing one of the most meaningful moments of my life. The contrast was profound. A day of collective grief became, for me, a day forever intertwined with the gift of new life.
As my son grew older, each birthday became more than a celebration. It became an opportunity to pause and remember. Before the cake is cut, before gifts are opened, before the laughter begins, there is reflection. Reflection on those who never came home. Reflection on the families whose lives changed forever. Reflection on the heroes whose bravery continues to inspire generations.
The passage of time does not diminish the significance of September 11. If anything, it increases our responsibility to remember. A growing number of Americans were born after the attacks and have no personal memory of the events. The National September 11 Memorial & Museum has emphasized the importance of preserving the stories of loss, courage, compassion, and service for future generations so that the promise to “never forget” remains meaningful. Remembering is not about reliving tragedy. It is about honoring the humanity that emerged in its wake.
It is about remembering the office worker who helped a colleague down dozens of flights of stairs. It is about the passenger who made one final phone call to loved ones before confronting unimaginable danger. It is about the first responder who continued searching for survivors long after hope had faded. It is about the families who found the strength to carry on despite overwhelming loss.
Their stories teach us that courage is contagious. Compassion matters. Service matters. Community matters.
In a world that often feels divided, September 11 reminds us of a time when Americans stood together. Differences that normally separated people seemed insignificant in the face of shared grief and shared purpose. Neighbors helped neighbors. Communities rallied together. Strangers became family.
Those lessons remain relevant today.
As we observe another anniversary of September 11, may we remember the victims with dignity. May we honor the survivors with respect. May we thank the first responders, military personnel, medical professionals, volunteers, and countless others whose sacrifices demonstrated the very best of humanity.
And may we never lose sight of what they showed us: that even in our darkest hours, courage endures, compassion survives, and the human spirit remains stronger than fear.
Today, I remember those who were lost.
Today, I thank those who served.
And today, as I celebrate another year of my son’s life, I am reminded that remembrance and gratitude can exist side by side, honoring the past while appreciating the precious gift of the present.
About the Author
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is the Executive Director of Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health (SEKYBH) and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor with extensive experience in behavioral health, community services, clinical leadership, and organizational development. Throughout his career, he has been dedicated to strengthening individuals, families, and communities through compassionate care, advocacy, and service.
As a behavioral health professional, John believes that some of life’s most difficult moments often reveal the resilience, courage, and humanity that connect us all. His writing frequently explores themes of hope, remembrance, personal reflection, and the enduring strength of the human spirit.
In this article, John’s reflections on September 11 are both historical and deeply personal. September 11, 2001, is not only a day of national remembrance, but also the day his son was born. This unique intersection of public tragedy and personal joy has shaped his perspective on gratitude, service, sacrifice, and the importance of honoring those whose lives and actions continue to inspire future generations.
When not leading organizational initiatives or advocating for improved behavioral health services across Kentucky, John enjoys writing articles, poetry, and community-focused content that encourages reflection, understanding, and meaningful human connection.
Author Contact
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S Executive Director Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health (SEKYBH) London, Kentucky
“We honor the past not by dwelling in tragedy, but by remembering the lives, sacrifices, and lessons that continue to guide us forward.” – John S. Collier
References
National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. (2004). The 9/11 Commission Report: Final Report of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. U.S. Government Printing Office. National September 11 Memorial & Museum. (2026). September 11, 2001 Historical Exhibition. Retrieved from the National September 11 Memorial & Museum. National September 11 Memorial & Museum. (2026). Marking the 25th Anniversary. Retrieved from the National September 11 Memorial & Museum. National September 11 Memorial & Museum. (2026). Homepage and Educational Resources. Retrieved from the National September 11 Memorial & Museum.
Few psychological terms have become as overused in modern society as the word narcissist. Spend a few minutes scrolling through social media, and you are likely to encounter countless videos, articles, and self-proclaimed experts explaining how to identify the narcissists in your life. An ex-spouse is labeled a narcissist. A demanding boss is called a narcissist. A parent who disappointed their child is suddenly a narcissist. Even someone who posts too many selfies may find themselves carrying the label.
The question that deserves attention is simple: What is true narcissism? More importantly, why are we so quick to apply the label to people whose behavior we dislike, misunderstand, or disagree with?
The answer is more complex than most people realize.
The Difference Between Narcissistic Traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The first thing we must understand is that narcissism exists on a spectrum. Most people possess at least some narcissistic traits. Healthy self-esteem involves recognizing our strengths, taking pride in our accomplishments, and believing that we are worthy of love and respect. In fact, without a certain degree of self-focus, people would struggle to advocate for themselves, pursue goals, or maintain personal boundaries.
Having confidence does not make someone a narcissist.
Wanting recognition for hard work does not make someone a narcissist.
Feeling hurt when criticized does not make someone a narcissist.
True narcissism becomes problematic when an individual’s need for admiration, validation, and control consistently outweighs their ability to empathize with others. Narcissistic traits become a disorder only when they are rigid, deeply ingrained, and cause significant impairment in relationships, work, and daily functioning.
Many people demonstrate narcissistic behaviors occasionally. Very few meet the clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a recognized mental health condition described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Individuals with NPD typically exhibit a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins in early adulthood and is present across many areas of life.
Some common characteristics include:
An exaggerated sense of self-importance
Fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, or beauty
A belief that they are special or unique
A need for excessive admiration
A sense of entitlement
Exploitative behavior toward others
Difficulty recognizing or caring about others’ feelings
Envy of others or belief that others envy them
Arrogant or haughty attitudes and behaviors
What is important to understand is that these characteristics are not occasional. They are persistent patterns that influence nearly every significant relationship and interaction.
A person may act selfishly during a stressful period. Another person may struggle to apologize when they feel threatened. Those behaviors alone do not indicate a personality disorder.
Why We Are Labeling Everyone a Narcissist
Human beings naturally search for explanations when relationships become painful. When someone hurts us, disappoints us, or behaves in a way we cannot understand, assigning a label can provide a sense of closure.
The term narcissist often becomes a convenient explanation for complex human behavior.
Instead of saying:
“My partner struggles with accountability.”
“My coworker has poor interpersonal skills.”
“My parent was emotionally unavailable.”
“My friend tends to make everything about themselves.”
We simply say:
“They’re a narcissist.”
The label offers certainty. Unfortunately, certainty is not always accuracy.
The reality is that people can be selfish without being narcissistic. They can be immature without having a personality disorder. They can make harmful decisions without being clinically narcissistic.
Sometimes people act from fear, insecurity, trauma, poor emotional intelligence, or unresolved pain. These explanations may not excuse harmful behavior, but they often provide a more accurate understanding of what is occurring.
The Hidden Insecurity Behind Narcissism
One of the greatest misconceptions about narcissism is that narcissists have extremely high self-esteem. In reality, many individuals with significant narcissistic traits possess surprisingly fragile self-esteem beneath the surface.
The confidence they display is often more like armor than genuine self-worth.
Because their self-image is so vulnerable, they become highly sensitive to criticism, rejection, or perceived disrespect. They may respond with anger, defensiveness, blame, or attempts to regain control.
The grandiosity frequently seen in narcissism is not always evidence of strength. Sometimes it represents an effort to protect deep feelings of inadequacy.
This does not excuse harmful behavior. However, it helps us understand that narcissism is often rooted in emotional wounds rather than genuine superiority.
The Danger of Misusing Mental Health Labels
As mental health awareness has increased, so has the misuse of mental health terminology.
People now casually use terms such as:
Narcissist
Bipolar
OCD
Trauma
Gaslighting
Triggered
While increased awareness can be positive, there is also a danger in reducing complex conditions to everyday insults or buzzwords.
When we inaccurately label others, several problems emerge:
First, we may overlook the true causes of their behavior.
Second, we can contribute to stigma surrounding legitimate mental health conditions.
Third, we may avoid examining our own role in difficult relationships.
Sometimes the healthiest question is not, “Is this person a narcissist?” but rather, “Is this relationship healthy for me?”
The answer to the second question is often far more useful.
Moving Toward Understanding Instead of Labeling
The desire to understand human behavior is natural. However, understanding requires curiosity rather than assumptions.
Instead of immediately diagnosing people from a distance, we might ask:
What motivates this behavior?
What insecurities could be influencing this person?
Is this an ongoing pattern or an isolated incident?
How does this relationship affect my well-being?
What boundaries do I need to establish?
These questions encourage reflection rather than judgment.
The goal should never be to excuse harmful behavior. Rather, it should be to understand it accurately.
Final Thoughts
True narcissism is much more than selfishness, arrogance, confidence, or a difficult personality. It is a complex pattern of thinking, feeling, and relating to others that extends far beyond the occasional flaws that all human beings possess.
In a world increasingly focused on labels, perhaps we should spend less time trying to diagnose the people around us and more time seeking to understand them.
Not everyone who hurts us is a narcissist.
Not everyone who disagrees with us is toxic.
Not everyone who struggles with empathy has a personality disorder.
Sometimes people are simply imperfect human beings doing the best they can with the emotional tools they have developed throughout their lives.
The challenge for all of us is learning the difference.
About the Author
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor, behavioral health executive, and advocate for mental health awareness and community well-being. As the Executive Director of Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC, he has dedicated his career to helping individuals, families, and communities navigate life’s challenges through evidence-based mental health services, compassionate care, and practical solutions.
With extensive experience in clinical social work, behavioral health administration, crisis intervention, community mental health, and leadership development, Mr. Collier brings a unique perspective that bridges both clinical knowledge and real-world application. His work has focused on empowering individuals to improve their emotional health, strengthen relationships, develop resilience, and achieve meaningful personal growth.
In addition to his clinical and administrative roles, Mr. Collier is passionate about educating the public on mental health topics, reducing stigma, and helping people better understand the complexities of human behavior. Through his writing, he seeks to translate psychological concepts into practical, accessible information that readers can apply in their everyday lives.
His articles explore a wide range of subjects, including mental health, human behavior, grief and loss, relationships, emotional wellness, resilience, trauma, personal development, and the impact of social and cultural trends on psychological well-being.
Mr. Collier believes that greater understanding leads to greater compassion and that meaningful change begins when individuals are willing to look beyond labels, assumptions, and judgment to better understand themselves and others.
“The goal is not simply to explain behavior, but to promote understanding, encourage growth, and inspire healthier relationships with ourselves and those around us.” – John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing.
Cain, N. M., Pincus, A. L., & Ansell, E. B. (2008). Narcissism at the crossroads: Phenotypic description of pathological narcissism across clinical theory, social/personality psychology, and psychiatric diagnosis. Clinical Psychology Review, 28(4), 638-656.
Miller, J. D., Campbell, W. K., & Pilkonis, P. A. (2007). Narcissistic personality disorder: Relations with distress and functional impairment. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 48(2), 170-177.
Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 421-446.
There comes a point in life when we should be able to look around and say, “I have enough.”
Enough clothes.
Enough things.
A good enough vehicle.
A comfortable enough home.
Enough possessions to live our lives without constantly chasing the next purchase.
That does not mean we stop working, dreaming, planning, or enjoying nice things. There is nothing inherently wrong with financial success or material comfort. The problem begins when we believe the next possession, promotion, house, vehicle, or dollar will somehow complete us.
Research has repeatedly found an important difference between pursuing material goals and pursuing goals involving personal growth, relationships, and contribution to others. Psychologist Tim Kasser describes materialistic values as those centered on wealth, possessions, image, and status. When these become a person’s highest priorities, they tend to conflict with goals involving relationships and personal or spiritual growth. (Annual Reviews)
There is, however, another kind of contentment that can become dangerous.
We can become too content with ourselves.
We can decide that because we have reached a certain age, earned a certain degree, achieved professional success, raised children, accumulated possessions, or survived difficult seasons of life, we no longer need to change.
That is where contentment becomes complacency.
We should learn to say:
“I have enough.”
But we should be very cautious about ever saying:
“I am good enough that I no longer need to grow.”
Contentment and Complacency Are Not the Same Thing
Contentment is gratitude.
Complacency is stagnation.
Contentment says, “I appreciate what I have.”
Complacency says, “I don’t need to become better.”
Those are very different statements.
You can appreciate your home without needing a larger one and still recognize that you need to become more patient.
You can be satisfied with your income while recognizing that you need to become more generous.
You can enjoy your accomplishments while realizing that you need to become more humble.
You can be grateful for your relationships while recognizing that you need to become a better listener.
You can appreciate who you are without pretending there is nothing left to change.
Research on human motivation supports the value of this distinction. Self-Determination Theory distinguishes extrinsic aspirations—such as money, fame, appearance, and recognition—from intrinsic aspirations such as personal growth, meaningful relationships, community involvement, and health. Intrinsic goals are more closely connected to basic psychological needs and well-being. (Self Determination Theory)
In studies by Kasser and Ryan, people who placed greater relative importance on intrinsic aspirations such as self-acceptance, relationships, and community reported better indicators of well-being than people whose priorities centered more heavily on financial success, appearance, and recognition. (Sage Journals)
Perhaps one of the healthiest things we can learn is this:
Stop trying to constantly upgrade everything you own and begin intentionally upgrading the person who owns it.
There Is Nothing Wrong With Having Nice Things
Material possessions themselves are not the enemy. Money can feed a family. A house can provide safety. A dependable vehicle can get us to work. Savings can provide security.
A successful business can employ people and support a community. Money can be given generously to someone in need. Material resources can accomplish tremendous good. The question is not simply what we possess. The deeper question is what possesses us.
Research does not suggest that merely owning things makes someone unhappy. Rather, concerns arise when wealth, image, possessions, and status become central measures of identity and success. Kasser’s review of the literature found that giving materialistic values relatively high priority is associated with lower personal well-being and poorer interpersonal outcomes. (Annual Reviews)
There is freedom in reaching the place where we can look at what someone else owns without suddenly becoming dissatisfied with what we have.
Their new vehicle does not make ours less dependable.
Their larger house does not make ours less of a home.
Their salary does not determine our worth.
Their success does not make us unsuccessful.
Someone else’s abundance does not automatically mean we are lacking.
That is contentment.
But Never Become Content With Your Character
There is a completely different standard when we turn our attention inward.
Our possessions can reach enough.
Our character should always remain under construction.
We should never reach a point where we decide:
I am patient enough.
I am compassionate enough.
I am disciplined enough.
I am forgiving enough.
I am wise enough.
I am humble enough.
I am honest enough.
I am loving enough.
I am spiritually mature enough.
There is always another lesson.There is always another rough edge that can be polished. There is always another weakness that can become stronger. There is always another opportunity to become better.
That does not mean living with constant self-criticism. Healthy personal development is not about waking every morning and deciding something is wrong with you. It is about recognizing that being a worthwhile human being today does not prevent you from becoming a better human being tomorrow.
Self-acceptance and self-improvement can exist at the same time.
The House May Be Finished, But You Are Not
Think about building a house.
Eventually the foundation is complete. The walls are finished. The roof is installed. The rooms are painted. Furniture is moved inside.
At some point, we can reasonably say:
“It is finished.”
Human character does not work that way.There is no final nail. There is no last coat of paint. There is no day when we should hang a sign on our hearts reading:
CONSTRUCTION COMPLETE.
Life keeps remodeling us.
Marriage reveals things about us.
Parenthood reveals things about us.
Divorce can reveal things about us.
Friendship reveals things about us.
Leadership reveals things about us.
Failure reveals things about us.
Success reveals things about us.
Grief reveals things about us.
Conflict reveals things about us.
Getting older reveals things about us.
Even the people who irritate us sometimes reveal something about us.
Every season gives us another opportunity to examine the structure.
Sometimes we discover a crack.
Sometimes we discover something that needs reinforcing.
Sometimes we discover something that needs torn out and rebuilt.
The wise person does not become ashamed because something needs work.
The wise person does the work.
Ask Hard Questions About Yourself
Growth requires self-examination.
It is easy to identify what everybody else needs to change.
It is much harder to ask:
What do I need to change?
Where am I difficult to live with?
Do I listen, or am I simply waiting for my opportunity to speak?
Can I accept correction without becoming defensive?
Do I apologize without adding an excuse?
Do I treat people differently depending upon what they can do for me?
Do I carry grudges?
Do I speak respectfully when I am angry?
Am I dependable?
Do the people closest to me experience the same person that strangers see?
Do I practice privately what I claim to value publicly?
Those questions can be uncomfortable.
They are supposed to be.
Growth usually begins somewhere beyond our comfort.
Character Is Wealth Too
We spend enormous amounts of energy building financial wealth while sometimes overlooking another form of wealth.
Patience is wealth.
Integrity is wealth.
Wisdom is wealth.
A peaceful conscience is wealth.
Self-control is wealth.
A trustworthy reputation is wealth.
A strong marriage is wealth.
Children who know they are loved are wealth.
Friendships built over decades are wealth.
The ability to admit you were wrong is wealth.
Forgiveness is wealth.
Compassion is wealth.
Faith is wealth.
A life that made someone else’s life better is wealth.
None of those appear on a bank statement.
Yet they may ultimately become the most valuable things we possess.
Research following young adults after college found something especially interesting: achieving intrinsic aspirations involving growth, relationships, community, and health was associated with better psychological health. Achieving extrinsic aspirations, however, did not produce the same benefit and was associated in that study with indicators of ill-being. (ScienceDirect)
In other words, getting what we want is not always the same thing as getting what we need.
Success Is Also a Character Test
We often think adversity tests character.
It does. But success tests character too. What happens when you have money? What happens when people know your name?What happens when you become the person making decisions?What happens when people begin calling you sir, ma’am, doctor, boss, director, president, or leader?What happens when you finally occupy the room you once dreamed of entering?
Do you remember the people who helped you get there?Do you still treat the person cleaning the room with the same dignity as the person leading the meeting?
Success can improve our circumstances without necessarily improving our character.That improvement remains our responsibility.The goal should be to climb higher without believing the climb makes us higher than other people.
Compare Yourself Differently
Materialism encourages horizontal comparison.
We look sideways.
What does he drive?
Where does she live?
How much do they earn?
Where did they vacation?
What are they wearing?
What position do they hold?
Growth asks us to make a different comparison.
Look backward.
Compare yourself with yourself.
Who were you five years ago?
Who were you last year?
Who were you yesterday?
Are you more patient?
Are you more forgiving?
Do you handle disappointment better?
Are you more dependable?
Are you less judgmental?
Can you admit when you are wrong?
Do you communicate better?
Do you love people better?
Have you learned anything from your failures?
Are you becoming wiser rather than merely older?
That is a much more meaningful measurement of success.
Never Become Too Old to Grow
One of the saddest sentences a person can say is:
“That’s just the way I am.”
Sometimes those words are presented as self-acceptance.
Often they are simply permission not to change.
Perhaps you have always had a temper.
Work on it.
Perhaps you have always struggled to communicate.
Learn.
Perhaps apologizing is difficult.
Practice.
Perhaps you interrupt people.
Listen.
Perhaps you hold grudges.
Learn forgiveness.
Perhaps you have spent years blaming everyone else.
Examine yourself.
Your past may explain something about your character.
It does not necessarily have to determine your future character.
As long as we are living, there is an opportunity to learn.
The Biblical Balance: Contentment and Growth
Scripture provides a remarkable balance between contentment and continued growth.
Paul wrote:
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” — 1 Timothy 6:6
Biblical contentment is not a command to abandon growth. Paul himself rejected the idea that he had spiritually arrived. In Philippians 3:12–14, he explained that he had not already reached perfection but continued pressing forward toward what lay ahead.
That gives us two important biblical ideas that belong together:
Be content with what God has provided.
Keep growing into who God is calling you to become.
We can be grateful without becoming stagnant.
We can appreciate today without believing yesterday’s growth is sufficient for tomorrow.
Conclusion: Have Enough, But Keep Becoming
There may eventually come a time when you look around your home and realize you really do not need much more.
That is a blessing.
Enjoy it.
Sit on the porch.
Drink the coffee.
Drive the vehicle you already own.
Wear the clothes already hanging in your closet.
Enjoy the people sitting around your table.
Stop believing happiness is waiting inside the next box delivered to your front door.
Say:
“Thank You, God. I have enough.”
But when you look into the mirror, maintain enough humility to say something different.
“There is still work to do.”
Not because you are worthless.
Because you are unfinished.
Become kinder.
Become wiser.
Become more patient.
Become more disciplined.
Become more forgiving.
Become more dependable.
Become more compassionate.
Become more courageous.
Become more generous.
Become more humble.
Become more loving.
Become more like Christ.
One day, you may have enough possessions.
But you should never have enough character.
Be content with what is in your hands. Be grateful for what is under your roof. But never become complacent about what is being built within your heart.
Devotion: Lord, Keep Working on Me
Scripture
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on…” — Philippians 3:12
There is something deeply humbling about Paul’s words.
This was a man who had devoted his life to Christ, endured tremendous suffering for his faith, taught others, established churches, and wrote letters that would become part of the New Testament.
Yet Paul did not say:
“I have arrived.”
He said, in essence:
“I am still pressing forward.”
That should tell us something.
Christian maturity is not reaching a place where God no longer needs to work on us.
Christian maturity may actually be becoming increasingly willing to let Him work.
We can thank God for what He has already changed without pretending there is nothing left to change.
Perhaps God has helped you become more patient.
There may still be more patience to learn.
Perhaps you have learned forgiveness.
There may still be someone difficult to forgive.
Perhaps you have grown in wisdom.
There are still things you do not understand.
Perhaps your faith is stronger than it was ten years ago.
It can become stronger still.
We are simultaneously grateful for the work God has completed and available for the work He has not.
Reflection
Today, instead of asking God for another possession, another opportunity, another achievement, or another blessing, consider asking Him something different:
“Lord, what needs to change in me?”
That prayer requires courage.
The answer may involve pride.
It may involve anger.
It may involve forgiveness.
It may involve how we speak to someone.
It may involve admitting we were wrong.
It may involve becoming more generous.
It may involve surrendering something we desperately want.
But perhaps one of God’s greatest blessings is not always changing what is around us.
Sometimes His greatest work is changing what is within us.
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for everything You have provided. Teach me to recognize when I have enough. Protect my heart from comparison, envy, greed, and the endless desire for more.
Help me enjoy the blessings already sitting around my table.
But Father, while teaching me contentment with material things, never allow me to become complacent about my character.
Show me where I need to grow.
Correct me when I am wrong.
Humble me when pride gets in the way.
Teach me patience when I become frustrated.
Teach me forgiveness when I have been hurt.
Teach me compassion when I am tempted to judge.
Teach me courage when doing what is right is difficult.
Teach me to listen more carefully, speak more wisely, love more deeply, and serve more willingly.
I do not ask You simply to give me more.
I ask You to make more of me.
Thank You for how far You have brought me.
And thank You that You are not finished with me yet.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
About the Author
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S, is a licensed clinical social worker, behavioral health professional, author, and community leader whose career has centered on helping individuals and families navigate life’s difficult seasons. His writing draws from social work, human behavior, relationships, faith, personal reflection, and the lessons that can be discovered through both success and adversity.
Collier’s articles and poetry frequently explore personal responsibility, emotional wellness, relationships, faith, healing, resilience, leadership, and the continuing process of becoming a better person. Rather than presenting growth as the pursuit of perfection, his work emphasizes self-examination, accountability, grace, compassion, and the willingness to continue learning.
At the heart of his writing is a simple belief: our experiences may shape us, but we still have a responsibility to decide what kind of people those experiences will help us become.
Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (1996). Further examining the American dream: Differential correlates of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(3), 280–287. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167296223006. (Sage Journals)
Niemiec, C. P., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2009). The path taken: Consequences of attaining intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations in post-college life. Journal of Research in Personality, 43(3), 291–306. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2008.09.001. (ScienceDirect)
Schmuck, P., Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Intrinsic and extrinsic goals: Their structure and relationship to well-being in German and U.S. college students. Social Indicators Research, 50, 225–241. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1007084005278. (DOI)
Self-Determination Theory. (n.d.). Goals, values and aspirations. Center for Self-Determination Theory. (Self Determination Theory)
The Holy Bible. 1 Timothy 6:6–8; Philippians 3:12–14; Romans 12:2; 2 Peter 1:5–8.
