Archives 2024

Navigating the Transition: Creating a Routine

Part 3 of 7 A Key to Success for Retired Men

For men, retirement can represent a significant life shift, often bringing challenges that stem from the loss of a structured daily routine. After decades of adhering to a work schedule, many retirees find themselves grappling with feelings of aimlessness or a lack of direction. Developing a new routine, one that balances relaxation with purpose, is crucial for both mental and physical health. Establishing this new structure is a critical tool for navigating the post-career chapter of life.

The Psychological Impact of Retirement on Men

Men tend to derive a large part of their identity from their careers. A sudden cessation of professional responsibilities can result in feelings of loss, anxiety, or depression. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association revealed that retirees are 40% more likely to experience clinical depression than those still in the workforce, and men, in particular, may struggle with the emotional ramifications of retirement .

The lack of routine after retirement can exacerbate these feelings. Structure and predictability in daily life provide a sense of control and purpose. When this is removed, retirees may feel a void that leads to dissatisfaction. However, studies suggest that creating a new, personalized routine helps retirees maintain a sense of purpose and offers psychological stability .

Benefits of Creating a Routine in Retirement

  1. Maintaining Mental Health
    A structured day reduces anxiety and depressive symptoms in retirees. By setting goals and adhering to a regular schedule, men can experience a greater sense of achievement and self-worth. Research published in Psychology and Aging demonstrated that retirees who establish routines report better emotional health, including reduced rates of loneliness and anxiety .
  2. Physical Health
    A lack of physical activity is one of the leading risk factors for health deterioration post-retirement. Establishing a routine that includes exercise not only prevents physical decline but also enhances cognitive function. The American Heart Association recommends at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity each week for older adults . Retirees who incorporate daily walks, swimming, or gym sessions into their routine see marked improvements in both mental and physical health.
  3. Sense of Purpose
    Work provides a purpose beyond financial security. After retirement, this sense of purpose can be maintained by dedicating time to new activities. Whether it’s volunteer work, pursuing hobbies, or learning new skills, incorporating meaningful activities into a daily routine ensures that retirees continue to feel productive and valued.
  4. Improved Sleep Patterns
    Sleep disturbances are common among retirees due to the lack of structured activity during the day. By maintaining a routine, retirees can regulate their sleep-wake cycles. A consistent daily schedule promotes better sleep hygiene, resulting in improved energy levels and mental clarity during the day

Tips for Establishing a Retirement Routine

  1. Set Regular Wake-up and Bedtimes
    While the freedom to wake up without an alarm is a retirement perk, it’s still important to maintain a consistent sleep schedule. This helps regulate the body’s circadian rhythms and improves overall energy and mood.
  2. Plan Physical Activity
    Include exercise in your routine, whether it’s morning walks, gym classes, or yoga. Physical activity promotes cardiovascular health, reduces stress, and helps retirees stay physically independent for longer.
  3. Dedicate Time to Hobbies or Learning
    Retirement is the ideal time to pursue long-held interests or learn something new. Whether it’s painting, gardening, writing, or taking courses in a subject of interest, setting aside time for personal development is key to feeling fulfilled.
  4. Volunteer or Mentor
    Many retirees find that volunteering provides a sense of purpose and connection to the community. Mentoring younger professionals in your previous field can also offer both structure and fulfillment, as well as maintain social engagement .
  5. Schedule Social Interactions
    Loneliness can be a significant issue for retirees, particularly for men who may have relied heavily on work relationships. Scheduling regular meet-ups with friends or family members, or joining clubs or groups, can help retirees stay socially active.

Balancing Flexibility with Routine

While it is essential to create a structured routine, it’s equally important to embrace the flexibility that retirement affords. Many men approach retirement as a “permanent vacation,” but over time, the absence of a routine can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. Therefore, establishing a framework for the day helps maintain a sense of order, but it should remain flexible enough to accommodate spontaneity.

Having the ability to travel, pursue a new hobby, or simply relax without feeling guilty is one of the great benefits of retirement. Flexibility and routine can coexist harmoniously; for instance, retirees may want to maintain a morning exercise routine while leaving afternoons free for exploration or relaxation.

Conclusion

Creating a routine in retirement is vital for men to transition smoothly from their professional lives to a more leisurely phase. A balanced daily schedule promotes mental and physical health, fosters a sense of purpose, and provides the necessary structure to navigate this major life change. By prioritizing self-care, physical activity, and personal fulfillment, retirees can enjoy their golden years with clarity, happiness, and health.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at [email protected].

References

  1. American Heart Association. (2021). Exercise Recommendations for Older Adults. Retrieved from American Heart Association.
  2. Hermanns, L. & Cole, G. (2020). “Retirement and the Importance of Routine: How Structure Improves Health.” Journal of Aging Research, 42(3), 315-328.
  3. Watson, D., & Proctor, S. (2019). “Routines and the Mental Health of Retirees: A Psychological Review.” Psychology and Aging, 34(1), 112-119.
  4. Weiss, D. (2018). “Post-Retirement Routines: How to Plan for the Next Chapter.” Aging and Society, 39(2), 237-249.
  5. Kimmel, M. (2019). Retirement and Masculinity: Understanding Emotional Transitions for Men. New York: Routledge Press.
The Dynamics of Reciprocal Behavior in Relationships: Why Men Treat Women the Way They Want to Be Treated, Then Mirror Their Behavior

In many romantic relationships, there is often a natural desire for mutual respect, affection, and kindness. This dynamic is frequently guided by an unspoken principle: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” While this golden rule serves as a foundation for healthy interactions, a common pattern emerges over time where men—initially demonstrating care and consideration—begin to shift their behavior in response to how they feel their partner is treating them. This can create a cycle of reciprocity where both parties mirror each other’s actions, for better or for worse. This article explores the psychological and social dynamics behind why men may begin by treating their partners with kindness but eventually start reflecting their partner’s behavior back at them.

The Initial Stage: Treating Her the Way He Wants to Be Treated

When a man enters a relationship, especially in the early stages, he often treats his partner with respect, kindness, and patience, reflecting the way he desires to be treated in return. This behavior can stem from a combination of personal values, societal norms, and the pursuit of a harmonious relationship. Psychological theories suggest that during this phase, men are more likely to engage in behaviors that reflect their ideal expectations of a relationship. According to social exchange theory, individuals enter relationships with the expectation of gaining positive emotional rewards, such as love, companionship, and respect, while also investing these same qualities in their partner (Blau, 1964).

Furthermore, attachment theory posits that individuals with secure attachment styles are more likely to display positive, nurturing behaviors, especially in the early stages of a relationship. They express their needs through affection and hope to cultivate a bond built on mutual care and understanding (Hazan & Shaver, 1987).

The Shift: Reflecting Her Behavior

As the relationship progresses, men may begin to perceive a shift in their partner’s behavior, whether it is real or perceived. This shift could be in the form of neglect, criticism, or a lack of affection. When faced with this, men may gradually adjust their own behavior to reflect what they are receiving, creating a cycle of mirrored actions. Psychologists refer to this as behavioral reciprocity, where one partner begins to match the emotional tone and actions of the other (Lakin, Jefferis, Cheng, & Chartrand, 2003).

This phenomenon can also be explained through equity theory, which posits that people strive to maintain balanced and fair exchanges in their relationships. When a man feels that he is putting in more effort than his partner, he may reduce his own efforts to restore balance (Walster, Walster, & Berscheid, 1978). Essentially, when a man perceives that his partner is treating him poorly or not reciprocating his kindness, he may unconsciously begin to treat her in the same way, responding with the same indifference or frustration that he feels he is receiving.

Emotional and Psychological Impacts

Reciprocal behavior can be positive when it fosters mutual respect, but it can also be detrimental when negative behaviors are mirrored. For men, this shift from treating a partner with ideal care to reflecting negative behaviors can lead to emotional strain, confusion, and even resentment. Men may feel unappreciated or taken for granted, and this can trigger a defensive mechanism where they no longer feel the need to uphold their initial standards of care.

This cycle is particularly common in relationships where communication is lacking. Without clear conversations about needs, frustrations, and expectations, partners may resort to passive-aggressive behaviors or emotional withdrawal, which only exacerbates the problem. According to Gottman’s theory of relationship success, one of the key predictors of a relationship’s decline is the presence of negative reciprocity, where partners respond to criticism or negativity with more of the same (Gottman & Levenson, 1992).

Breaking the Cycle

To break this cycle, it’s crucial for both partners to engage in open, honest communication and address any underlying issues before they manifest into reciprocal negative behaviors. Men (and women) need to express their feelings and concerns early on to prevent misunderstandings from escalating into ongoing patterns of negative behavior. Active listening and empathy are essential tools for partners to understand each other’s perspectives and realign their behaviors toward mutual support and respect (Rogers, 1957).

Furthermore, research shows that practicing positive reciprocity—where one partner responds to kindness with more kindness—can improve relationship satisfaction. Couples who consciously choose to respond to negative situations with understanding and patience, rather than mirroring the negativity, are more likely to create a stable and healthy bond (Algoe, Fredrickson, & Gable, 2013).

In many relationships, men initially treat women the way they hope to be treated, offering affection, respect, and understanding. However, when they begin to perceive an imbalance in how they are being treated, they often adjust their behavior to mirror what they receive. This dynamic, rooted in behavioral reciprocity and equity theory, can either strengthen or weaken a relationship, depending on how both partners respond. Breaking the cycle of negative reciprocity requires open communication, empathy, and a conscious effort to foster positive interactions that reinforce mutual respect and love.

This article was written by John S. Collier MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has had over 25 years in the social work field. He currently serves as the executive Director and outpatient provider for Southeast Kentucky Behavioral health based out of London Kentucky may be reached at 606-657-0532 extension 101 or by email at john @SEkybh.com..

References

• Algoe, S. B., Fredrickson, B. L., & Gable, S. L. (2013). The social functions of the emotion gratitude via expression. Emotion, 13(4), 605-609.

• Blau, P. M. (1964). Exchange and power in social life. Wiley.

• Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1992). Marital processes predictive of later dissolution: Behavior, physiology, and health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(2), 221-233.

• Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.

• Lakin, J. L., Jefferis, V. E., Cheng, C. M., & Chartrand, T. L. (2003). The Chameleon Effect as social glue: Evidence for the evolutionary significance of nonconscious mimicry. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 27(3), 145-162.

• Rogers, C. R. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21(2), 95-103.

• Walster, E., Walster, G. W., & Berscheid, E. (1978). Equity: Theory and research. Allyn and Bacon.

Why Am I Stressed Out So Much? Understanding the Roots of Chronic Stress

Stress is a common and natural response to challenges, but when it becomes overwhelming or constant, it can lead to significant physical and emotional consequences. If you feel stressed out frequently, it’s essential to understand the reasons behind your stress and how to manage it effectively. Chronic stress often stems from a variety of factors, including lifestyle, psychological influences, work demands, and societal pressures. This article explores the main reasons why stress may be impacting you so much, supported by research and expert analysis.

1. High Work Demands and Job Burnout

One of the most common sources of chronic stress is job-related pressure. Many people face overwhelming workloads, tight deadlines, and long hours, leading to job burnout. A 2021 survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that 79% of employees reported work-related stress, with 44% reporting physical fatigue from work stress and 36% experiencing cognitive weariness .

Job insecurity, lack of control, and unclear expectations also exacerbate stress. The COVID-19 pandemic further heightened these pressures, leading to more people working from home without clear work-life boundaries. This unrelenting work pressure can lead to chronic stress and negatively impact both mental and physical health.

2. Financial Stress

Financial problems are a leading cause of chronic stress. Whether due to debt, unemployment, or the rising cost of living, financial uncertainty can weigh heavily on the mind. A report from the Financial Health Network found that 64% of Americans feel stressed about money . When people feel like they lack control over their financial situation, it can lead to ongoing anxiety and emotional exhaustion.

3. Personal and Family Responsibilities

Balancing personal, family, and professional responsibilities can be another source of overwhelming stress. Caregiving for children, aging parents, or family members with disabilities adds emotional and physical strain. For instance, research shows that caregivers of family members with chronic illnesses are more likely to experience stress-related health problems like high blood pressure and depression . These additional pressures can make it difficult to focus on personal well-being, leading to a buildup of stress.

4. Lack of Time and Overcommitment

Modern life often involves juggling multiple roles and commitments, leaving little time for rest or self-care. When you feel stretched too thin, even minor tasks can seem overwhelming, contributing to chronic stress. The “time famine” effect—a perceived scarcity of time—leads to feelings of being rushed and pressured . This sense of constant hurry often heightens feelings of stress and reduces overall satisfaction with life.

5. Social Isolation and Relationships

Human beings are social creatures, and a lack of strong social connections can exacerbate feelings of stress. Loneliness or strained relationships are linked to higher levels of stress hormones such as cortisol. According to a study published in Health Psychology, individuals with fewer social connections are more likely to experience prolonged stress responses . Conflict within relationships, whether romantic, familial, or social, can also lead to chronic emotional distress.

6. Psychological Factors: Perfectionism and Anxiety

Psychological traits and tendencies can also drive stress. Perfectionism, for instance, creates unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration and chronic stress when goals aren’t met. Anxiety disorders amplify normal stress responses, making everyday tasks seem insurmountable. The APA notes that anxiety is the most common mental health condition in the United States, with over 40 million adults affected, which often overlaps with stress disorders .

7. Health and Physical Factors

Your health can also contribute to chronic stress. Poor diet, lack of exercise, and insufficient sleep can heighten the body’s stress response. Chronic medical conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or chronic pain, can create ongoing stress and fatigue. Research shows that stress can exacerbate these conditions, leading to a vicious cycle of worsening health and heightened stress .

8. Technology and Information Overload

In today’s digital age, people are constantly bombarded with information. While technology offers convenience, it can also contribute to stress. “Information overload” occurs when people feel overwhelmed by the constant influx of news, social media, emails, and alerts. This can create a sense of never being able to “turn off” or relax. A study by the Pew Research Center found that 25% of adults feel constantly connected to their devices, which correlates with higher stress levels .

9. Coping Strategies

Coping with stress requires a balanced approach. According to the APA, effective stress management involves a combination of healthy habits like regular physical activity, mindfulness techniques, and setting realistic goals . Social support and seeking professional help when needed are also crucial in managing overwhelming stress.

Chronic stress can stem from a wide range of sources, including work demands, financial struggles, personal responsibilities, psychological factors, and even technology use. Understanding the root causes of your stress is the first step toward addressing it. By recognizing these factors and implementing healthy coping mechanisms, it’s possible to reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.

This article was written by John S. Collier,MSW, LCSW. MR. COLLIER HAS OVER 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN THE SOCIAL WORK FIELD. He currently serves as the executive Director and outpatient behavioral health therapist at Southeast Kentucky Behavioral health based in London Kentucky. He may be reached at 606-657-0532 extension 101 or by email [email protected].

References:

1. American Psychological Association (2021). Stress in America 2021. Retrieved from [https://www.apa.org].

2. Financial Health Network (2020). U.S. Financial Health Pulse: 2020 Trends Report.

3. Health Psychology, Social Connections and Stress, Volume 35, Issue 1, 2019.

4. Pew Research Center (2021). Digital Life in 2020.

5. American Psychological Association (2020). Anxiety and Stress Disorders.

By diving into the reasons behind your stress, you can start taking the steps needed to alleviate it and regain balance in your life.

Job Opportunity: Community Access Specialist

Program: Supports for Community Living Division

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Location: London/Corbin and Richmond/Lexington

Reports To: Executive Director or Designee

Job Summary:

The Community Access Specialist supports individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities participating in the Kentucky Supports for Community Living (SCL) waiver program, in accordance with the Kentucky Administrative Regulation (KAR) 907 KAR 12:010. This position is responsible for assisting individuals in accessing community resources, services, and activities that promote independence, inclusion, and meaningful community engagement.

Key Responsibilities:

1. Community Integration and Advocacy:

• Assist individuals in identifying and participating in community activities, services, and opportunities that align with their personal goals and interests.

• Promote inclusion by advocating for reasonable accommodations and modifications to ensure equal access to community resources and services.

• Develop relationships with community organizations, employers, and other service providers to create opportunities for the individuals served.

• Ensure that services are provided in natural community settings, as defined by 907 KAR 12:010, Section 2.

2. Person-Centered Planning:

• Collaborate with individuals, their families, and their support teams to create and implement individualized service plans (ISPs) that reflect the person’s goals for community involvement.

• Facilitate skill development in areas that enhance the individual’s ability to live more independently and participate fully in community life.

3. Service Documentation and Compliance:

• Maintain accurate and timely documentation of services provided in accordance with Medicaid and SCL waiver program requirements, including 907 KAR 1:145, which governs record-keeping and compliance.

• Participate in audits, reviews, and quality improvement initiatives to ensure adherence to state regulations and program guidelines.

• Ensure services provided are in line with 907 KAR 12:010, which outlines service definitions and provider qualifications.

4. Collaboration and Teamwork:

• Work collaboratively with case managers, direct support professionals, healthcare providers, and other stakeholders to ensure seamless service delivery.

• Participate in interdisciplinary team meetings, as needed, to discuss service progress, address barriers, and update individualized service plans.

• Provide training and support to individuals and their support teams on accessing and navigating community resources.

5. Resource Coordination:

• Assist in identifying community resources, including educational, employment, recreational, and social opportunities, that meet the individual’s needs and preferences.

• Coordinate transportation and other logistical needs to support community participation.

• Facilitate access to additional waiver services, as appropriate, ensuring compliance with 907 KAR 12:010.

Qualifications:

• Education: Bachelor’s degree in Social Work, Psychology, Human Services, or a related field preferred.

• Experience: Minimum of 1 year of experience working with individuals with intellectual or developmental disabilities. Knowledge of Medicaid waiver programs, specifically the SCL waiver, is preferred.

• Certifications: CPR/First Aid certification is required. Completion of relevant SCL waiver training is required within the first 90 days of employment.

• Skills:

• Strong understanding of community resources and service systems within Kentucky.

• Ability to work effectively within a person-centered framework.

• Strong interpersonal, organizational, and advocacy skills.

• Familiarity with Kentucky Administrative Regulations related to Medicaid, particularly 907 KAR 12:010.

Work Conditions:

• The position requires frequent travel within the community, including home visits, attending community activities, and networking with local resources.

• Ability to work flexible hours, including evenings or weekends, to support individuals’ community participation as needed.

References:

• Kentucky Administrative Regulations (KAR), including but not limited to:

• 907 KAR 12:010 – Supports for Community Living Waiver: Service Definitions and Provider Qualifications

• 907 KAR 1:145 – Medicaid Services: Record-Keeping and Documentation Requirements

This job description is intended to provide a general overview of the position and is not an exhaustive list of duties or requirements.

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