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Navigating the Transition: How Men Can Use Ways to Cope with Adjusting to Life After Retirement

Retirement marks a significant milestone in a man’s life, signaling the end of a long and fulfilling career and the beginning of a new chapter filled with opportunities for leisure, personal growth, and exploration. While retirement can bring about a sense of freedom and relaxation, it can also present challenges as men adjust to a life without the structure and routine of work. Just as Ways helps drivers navigate unfamiliar roads, men can utilize strategies and tools to help them navigate the transition to retirement successfully. Each topic in this article will spark a new article each week in this series on men “Navigating the Transition”

1.  Set New Goals and Priorities: 

Similar to setting a destination in Waze, men should establish new goals and priorities for their retirement years. Whether it’s pursuing a long-held passion, traveling to new destinations, or spending more time with family and friends, having clear goals can provide a sense of direction and purpose in retirement.

2.  Create a Routine

Retirement can disrupt the daily routine that many men are accustomed to during their working years. Establishing a new routine can help create structure and stability in retirement. Setting aside time for exercise, hobbies, social activities, and relaxation can help men adjust to their new lifestyle and maintain a sense of balance.

3.  Stay Socially Connected:

Social connections play a crucial role in mental and emotional well-being. Just as Ways provides real-time updates and traffic information, staying connected with friends, family, and community groups can help men navigate the social landscape of retirement. Joining clubs, volunteering, or participating in group activities can provide opportunities for social interaction and support.

4.  Explore New Opportunities:

Retirement offers a unique opportunity for men to explore new interests and experiences. Just as Ways suggests alternative routes, men should be open to trying new things and stepping outside their comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause they are passionate about, or embarking on a new adventure, embracing new opportunities can enrich their retirement years.

5.  Manage Finances Wisely:

Financial planning is essential for a smooth transition into retirement. Men should review their financial situation, create a budget, and make informed decisions about their retirement savings and investments. Seeking guidance from a financial advisor can help men navigate the financial aspects of retirement and ensure their financial security in the years ahead.

6.  Prioritize Self-Care:

Taking care of one’s physical and mental health is crucial during the retirement years. Just as Ways helps drivers reach their destination safely, men should prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management. Engaging in activities that promote well-being can help men maintain their health and vitality in retirement.

Adjusting to life after retirement is a significant transition for men that requires careful planning, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace new experiences. By utilizing strategies and tools like Ways to navigate the challenges of retirement, men can successfully transition into this new phase of life with confidence and purpose. Retirement is not the end of the road but a new beginning—a time to explore, grow, and enjoy the journey ahead.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at [email protected].

Sources:

  1. Ryan, R. (2019). Retirement reinvention: Make your next act your best act. McGraw-Hill Education.
  2. Zelinski, E. J. (2019). How to retire happy, wild, and free: Retirement wisdom that you won’t get from your financial advisor. Ten Speed Press.
  1. Journal of Aging & Social Policy. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/journal/wasp20
  2. The Gerontologist. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist
  1. AARP. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.aarp.org
  2. National Institute on Aging. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nia.nih.gov
  1. Society of Behavioral Medicine. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.sbm.org
  2. American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
  1. Employee Benefit Research Institute. (2022). The retirement transition: Insights and strategies. Retrieved from https://www.ebri.org
  2. Psychology Today. (2023). Adjusting to retirement: Psychological perspectives. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
  3. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.hhs.gov
Women, Are You a Wife Worth Dying For?

The concept of sacrificial love in marriage is a deeply profound one, especially within the Christian tradition. Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This call for husbands to be willing to lay down their lives for their wives raises an important question: women, are you a wife worth dying for? This question invites reflection on what it means to be a wife who fosters a marriage worthy of such a selfless love.

The Mutual Nature of Sacrificial Love

Before exploring what makes a wife “worth dying for,” it’s important to understand the reciprocal nature of love within a biblical marriage. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This mutual submission lays the foundation for how both husbands and wives are to treat each other—with love, respect, and selflessness.

While husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, wives are likewise called to respect and support their husbands in ways that build up the marriage and the household. In this sense, both partners in the marriage are asked to give of themselves, though in different ways. As theologian R.C. Sproul notes, “The submission of the wife is a fitting response to the sacrificial love of the husband, which models the gospel message in its most basic form: giving oneself for the good of another.”

Cultivating a Relationship Worthy of Sacrifice

Being a wife worth dying for does not imply that a wife must achieve perfection or live up to an impossible standard. Instead, it refers to the qualities that contribute to a healthy, loving, and mutually fulfilling marriage. One key aspect is emotional and spiritual support. A wife who provides her husband with a sense of emotional security and encouragement creates an environment where love can thrive. She offers empathy, understanding, and compassion, making her husband feel valued and respected.

In Proverbs 31, we see a portrait of a virtuous wife whose actions benefit her entire household. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (Proverbs 31:11). A wife who is trustworthy, hardworking, and loving creates a partnership where both husband and wife are lifted up. This is the kind of relationship that fosters deep, sacrificial love on both sides.

Christian marriage counselor and author Gary Thomas explains, “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.” Wives who actively invest in their marriages, who communicate well and build strong emotional connections, contribute to a relationship where sacrificial love can naturally flourish.

Building a Relationship of Mutual Growth

A wife worth dying for also understands that marriage is a journey of mutual growth. Both partners must be committed to growing together, learning from one another, and building a life that reflects their shared values and faith. This means cultivating a relationship based on forgiveness, grace, and patience.

Theologian Timothy Keller, in The Meaning of Marriage, speaks to the importance of grace in marital growth: “The reason marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is both painful and wonderful at once.” Just as Christ’s sacrificial love is transformative, so is the love that spouses share when they forgive, grow, and strive to be better partners.

Wives who are committed to personal and spiritual growth, both in themselves and in their marriage, are laying the groundwork for a love that is deep and abiding. A relationship built on mutual growth, where both partners continually seek to improve and support each other, is one worth cherishing and protecting at all costs.

The Power of Respect and Honor

Respect is often seen as one of the most important components in a successful marriage. For many men, feeling respected by their wives is central to feeling loved. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” A wife who respects her husband fosters an environment where he can lead with love and confidence.

This respect does not mean subservience or blind obedience, but rather recognizing the unique qualities and strengths that each partner brings to the marriage. Psychologist Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect, explains that a man’s need for respect is deeply tied to his ability to love his wife well. When a wife shows respect for her husband, it encourages him to offer the kind of sacrificial love that Christ modeled for the church.

Conclusion: Are You Worth Dying For?

The idea of being a wife worth dying for is not about earning your husband’s love through perfection, but rather about fostering a marriage grounded in mutual love, respect, and growth. A wife who supports her husband emotionally, spiritually, and relationally creates an environment where sacrificial love can flourish.

Sacrificial love, at its core, is about giving of oneself for the benefit of the other. When both husband and wife embrace this mindset, the marriage becomes a reflection of Christ’s love for the church—a love so deep and abiding that it is worth laying down one’s life for.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at [email protected].

References

  1. The Holy Bible, New International Version, Ephesians 5:21-33.
  2. Sproul, R.C. The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage. Reformation Trust Publishing, 2003.
  3. Thomas, Gary. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? Zondervan, 2000.
  4. Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. Penguin Books, 2011.
  5. Eggerichs, Emerson. Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Thomas Nelson, 2004.
  6. The Holy Bible, New International Version, Proverbs 31:10-31.
Mastering Your Mind: Mastering Your Mind (Overthinking: Part 3)

How to Set Boundaries with Your Thoughts

Our minds are powerful tools that shape our perception of the world and influence our emotions and behaviors. However, when our thoughts run wild and unchecked, they can lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Setting boundaries with your thoughts is essential for maintaining mental well-being and regaining control over your inner dialogue. Here are some strategies to help you set boundaries with your thoughts:

  1. Practice self-awareness: The first step in setting boundaries with your thoughts is to become aware of the patterns and tendencies of your mind. Notice when your thoughts veer into negative or unproductive territory and observe how these thoughts make you feel. By cultivating self-awareness, you can begin to identify the thoughts that are harmful or unhelpful.
  • Challenge negative thoughts: When you notice yourself engaging in negative self-talk or catastrophic thinking, challenge the validity of these thoughts. Ask yourself if there is any evidence to support your negative beliefs or if you are letting fear and anxiety drive your thinking. By questioning the accuracy of your thoughts, you can begin to break the cycle of negativity.
  • Practice cognitive restructuring: Cognitive restructuring is a technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy to help individuals challenge and reframe negative thoughts. When you catch yourself engaging in negative thinking, try to reframe the thought in a more balanced and realistic way. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m a failure,” reframe it as, “I may have made a mistake, but that doesn’t define my worth as a person.”
  • Set boundaries with rumination: Rumination is the process of continuously thinking about the same thoughts, often negative or distressing ones, without reaching a resolution. To set boundaries with rumination, give yourself a designated time to process your thoughts and worries each day, such as journaling for 10 minutes or talking to a trusted friend. Outside of that designated time, make a conscious effort to redirect your focus to more positive or productive activities.
  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you observe your thoughts without judgment and learn to let go of unhelpful or intrusive thoughts. When you notice your mind wandering or fixating on negative thoughts, gently redirect your focus to the present moment. Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or body scan techniques to cultivate a sense of calm and detachment from your thoughts.
  • Engage in positive self-talk: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend facing a challenge. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and resilience in the face of adversity.
  • Seek support: If you find it challenging to set boundaries with your thoughts on your own, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can help you develop coping strategies, challenge negative thought patterns, and provide guidance on managing intrusive thoughts.

Setting boundaries with your thoughts is a skill that takes time and practice to master. By cultivating self-awareness, challenging negative thoughts, practicing mindfulness, and seeking support when needed, you can regain control over your inner dialogue and cultivate a more positive and empowering mindset. Remember that you have the power to shape your thoughts and create a more peaceful and balanced mental landscape.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field. He is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at [email protected].

Sources

Brené Brown. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.

Carroll, B. (2018). The Mindfulness Workbook: A Beginner’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety and Depression through Mindfulness and Acceptance. New Harbinger Publications.

Harris, R. (2008). The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT. Trumpeter.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hachette Books.

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual. Guilford Publications.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow Paperbacks.

Sela, H. (2020). “Managing Rumination: Techniques for Cognitive Control.” Journal of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, 53(2), 134-150.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being. W. W. Norton & Company.

Tugade, M. M., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). “Resilient Individuals Use Positive Emotions to Bounce Back from Negative Emotional Experiences.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86(2), 320-333.

Wells, A. (2009). Metacognitive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression. Guilford Press.

The Power of Active Listening: Enhancing Parent-Teen Communication

Effective communication is essential for building strong relationships, especially between parents and teenagers. Active listening is a powerful communication skill that can help parents better understand their teens, strengthen their bond, and foster a supportive and trusting relationship. Parents can create a safe space for open dialogue, validation, and empathy by actively listening to their teens. Here are some tips for parents on how to practice active listening with their teens:

  1. Give Your Full Attention: When your teen is talking to you, put down your phone, turn off the TV, and give them your full attention. Make eye contact, nod your head, and use body language to show that you are engaged and interested in what they have to say.
  • Listen Without Judgment: Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions while your teen speaks. Create a non-judgmental and accepting environment where your teens feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of criticism or disapproval.
  • Reflect: Reflecting on your teen’s words can help demonstrate your listening and understanding of their perspective. Paraphrase what they have said to show that you are actively engaged in the conversation and value their thoughts and feelings.
  • Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage your teen to share more by asking open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” This can deepen the conversation and provide insight into your teen’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
  • Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your teen’s feelings, even if you disagree with their perspective. Let them know that it is okay to feel the way they do and that their emotions are valid and important.
  • Empathize: Show empathy towards your teen by putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their point of view. Empathizing with your teen can help strengthen your bond and build trust in your relationship.
  • Be Patient and Supportive: Listening to your teen may involve hearing difficult emotions or experiences. Be patient, supportive, and non-reactive as your teen opens up. Offer comfort, reassurance, and guidance as needed.
  • Set Aside Dedicated Time: Make time for regular conversations with your teen where you can focus on active listening. Setting aside dedicated time for communication can strengthen your relationship and create opportunities for meaningful dialogue.
  • Seek Feedback: Encourage your teen to provide feedback on how you can improve your listening skills. Be open to constructive criticism and strive to enhance your continuous  communication with your teen.

By practicing active listening, parents can create a supportive and nurturing environment where their teens feel heard, understood, and valued. Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy parent-teen relationship, and active listening is a powerful tool for enhancing understanding, empathy, and connection between parents and their teens.

About the Author:

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at  [email protected].