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Supporting Veterans and Their Mental Health: A National Responsibility

Veterans have served their country with dedication and, upon returning to civilian life, often face numerous challenges that require our support and understanding. Many veterans experience significant mental health issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. These challenges can hinder their ability to reintegrate into civilian life and maintain relationships, employment, and a healthy lifestyle. Recognizing the mental health needs of veterans and implementing effective support strategies is crucial for honoring their service and supporting their well-being.

The Mental Health Landscape for Veterans

Veterans are at a higher risk of mental health issues compared to the general population. A report from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) indicated that approximately 11-20% of veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD in any given year, and the prevalence is even higher among those who served in the Vietnam War (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Additionally, veterans are at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse issues, with research suggesting that over 25% of veterans experience symptoms related to depression and other mood disorders (Hoge et al., 2004).

A primary cause of these mental health challenges is the exposure to trauma and high-stress situations during service. Repeated exposure to combat, violence, and injury can leave lasting psychological scars that are difficult to heal. This stress may also exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues, making it even more difficult for veterans to transition back to civilian life.

Barriers to Mental Health Care for Veterans

While the VA and other organizations offer resources for veterans, barriers to accessing mental health care persist. According to the RAND Corporation, veterans may face significant obstacles, such as long wait times for appointments, stigma surrounding mental health, and a lack of providers who understand military culture (Tanielian et al., 2018). This stigma can prevent veterans from seeking help, as they may feel that mental health challenges are a sign of weakness or that others will not understand their experiences.

Rural veterans often face additional obstacles due to the lack of nearby mental health resources. Research has shown that nearly a quarter of all veterans live in rural areas, where specialized mental health services may be limited (Weeks et al., 2008). Telemedicine and virtual counseling have helped bridge some of these gaps, but there remains a need for more accessible, culturally informed care tailored to the unique needs of veterans.

Strategies for Supporting Veterans’ Mental Health

  1. Increasing Access to Mental Health Services:
    Expanding mental health resources specifically tailored for veterans is essential. The VA and other organizations are implementing initiatives to reduce wait times, increase the availability of telehealth services, and provide alternative therapies, such as art therapy, music therapy, and mindfulness practices (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Community-based programs can also provide veterans with accessible care, particularly in rural areas.
  2. Building a Community of Support:
    Peer support programs can be highly effective for veterans, as they allow veterans to connect with others who have had similar experiences. Programs like the Veterans Crisis Line and the VA’s Peer Support program connect veterans with trained peers, who provide support, understanding, and guidance. Research suggests that peer support reduces PTSD symptoms and increases veterans’ willingness to seek help (Resnick et al., 2012).
  3. Reducing Stigma through Public Awareness:
    Public awareness campaigns can play a crucial role in reducing stigma around veterans’ mental health issues. Campaigns should focus on educating both veterans and the general public about the commonality of mental health challenges, emphasizing that seeking help is a sign of strength. The VA’s “Make the Connection” campaign is an example of an initiative aimed at reducing stigma and encouraging veterans to pursue mental health treatment (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022).
  4. Encouraging Family Involvement and Support:
    Family members can be a crucial source of support for veterans dealing with mental health issues. Programs that educate family members about PTSD, depression, and other mental health conditions can equip them to support their loved ones effectively. Involving families in therapy sessions can also create a support network that extends beyond formal mental health services, which may improve outcomes for veterans (Monson et al., 2006).
  5. Employment and Reintegration Support:
    Meaningful employment can significantly impact veterans’ mental health and quality of life. Programs like the VA’s Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment services provide veterans with job training, career counseling, and job placement assistance, helping veterans reintegrate into civilian life (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2022). Research shows that veterans who find stable employment report higher levels of satisfaction and mental well-being (Resnik et al., 2012).

A Call to Action

Supporting veterans’ mental health is not only a moral duty but also a way to ensure the well-being of individuals who have made profound sacrifices. By addressing the barriers veterans face in accessing mental health care, expanding peer support networks, reducing stigma, and providing employment and family support, society can help veterans lead healthier and more fulfilling lives. Moreover, these actions honor their service by providing the respect, care, and compassion they deserve.

We must continue to advocate for policies that support veterans’ mental health, fund research into effective treatments, and raise public awareness about the unique challenges veterans face. Providing veterans with the resources and support they need to thrive is one of the most meaningful ways we can repay them for their service and dedication to our country.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

Hoge, C. W., Castro, C. A., Messer, S. C., McGurk, D., Cotting, D. I., & Koffman, R. L. (2004). Combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, mental health problems, and barriers to care. New England Journal of Medicine, 351(1), 13-22.

Monson, C. M., Schnurr, P. P., Stevens, S. P., & Guthrie, K. A. (2006). Cognitive-behavioral conjoint therapy for PTSD: Pilot results from a community sample. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 19(3), 289-299.

Resnick, S. G., & Rosenheck, R. A. (2012). Integrating peer-provided services: A quasi-experimental study of recovery orientation, confidence, and empowerment. Psychiatric Services, 63(6), 541-547.

Tanielian, T., Jaycox, L. H., & RAND Corporation. (2008). Invisible Wounds of War: Psychological and Cognitive Injuries, Their Consequences, and Services to Assist Recovery. RAND Corporation.

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (2022). PTSD: National Center for PTSD. https://www.ptsd.va.gov

What is Love Bombing and How to Avoid It
May be an image of 2 people and heart

In relationships, the initial stages are often filled with excitement, attention, and affection. However, there’s a line between genuine affection and manipulative behavior. One tactic that has become increasingly recognized and discussed is “love bombing.” This seemingly harmless form of intense affection can lead to harmful consequences for the individual on the receiving end. Let’s explore what love bombing is, the signs to watch for, and how to avoid falling into its trap.

What is Love Bombing?

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic where an individual overwhelms someone with excessive attention, compliments, and gifts to gain control over them. While the attention can feel flattering and genuine at first, it’s often a strategic ploy to create dependency and quickly escalate the relationship. The person performing the love bombing might shower their target with affection, constant communication, and seemingly sincere gestures, only to later use this bond for control and even emotional abuse.

The term “love bombing” is often associated with narcissistic personalities, as it serves their need for control, admiration, and validation. However, anyone can exhibit love bombing behavior, whether intentionally manipulative or subconsciously driven by their own insecurities.

Signs of Love Bombing

Recognizing love bombing can be challenging, as the behavior can easily be mistaken for genuine interest and passion. However, there are certain red flags that can help you identify it:

  • 1. Overwhelming Affection Too Quickly: In the early stages of a relationship, love bombers often express intense feelings of love and commitment. They may talk about your future together, use words like “soulmate,” or declare love within a few days or weeks.
  • 2. Constant Attention and Contact: While frequent communication is normal in budding relationships, love bombers will often take it to an extreme. They may bombard you with texts, calls, and social media messages, making it difficult for you to have personal space.
  • 3. Excessive Gift-Giving: Love bombers often shower their targets with expensive gifts or lavish gestures. While gifts can be a normal part of relationships, this behavior is typically marked by an extreme level of generosity meant to create a sense of obligation and guilt.
  • 4. Isolating You from Others: In an effort to create dependency, a love bomber may attempt to isolate you from friends and family. They might criticize your loved ones, make you feel guilty for spending time away, or frame others as obstacles to your relationship.
  • 5. Quick Escalation of Commitment: A love bomber may push for immediate commitment, such as moving in together or getting married. This is often a tactic to secure control over the relationship before you have time to question or evaluate it.

Why Love Bombing is Harmful

Love bombing can have serious emotional consequences. It often leads to confusion, dependency, and a cycle of highs and lows, as love bombers might suddenly withdraw their affection or exhibit controlling behaviors. This emotional rollercoaster can erode self-esteem and leave individuals feeling trapped and manipulated. Over time, the cycle can lead to more severe emotional or even physical abuse.

How to Avoid Love Bombing

  • 1. Take Your Time: Healthy relationships take time to build. Be cautious of relationships that move too quickly or seem “too good to be true.” If someone is pressuring you to commit or express deep feelings early on, it’s a sign to take a step back.
  • 2. Set Boundaries: Establish and maintain clear boundaries, even if the other person protests. Boundaries are essential for maintaining autonomy and ensuring that both parties are comfortable.
  • 3. Listen to Your Intuition: If something feels off, trust your gut. Love bombing can be intoxicating, but if you sense a lack of authenticity, don’t ignore it. Take note of any discomfort or hesitation, as these feelings often indicate a need to reassess the relationship.
  • 4. Maintain Your Support System: Keep in touch with friends and family and involve them in your relationship decisions. Love bombers often isolate their targets, so maintaining a strong support system can provide you with perspective and objective feedback.
  • 5. Observe Actions Over Time: Genuine affection is consistent and not overwhelming. Pay attention to how the person behaves over time, particularly if they continue to respect your boundaries and support your autonomy as the relationship progresses.
  • 6. Educate Yourself: Understanding manipulative behaviors like love bombing can help you recognize them in the future. By becoming aware of these tactics, you’re less likely to fall into their trap.

Love bombing is a deceptive tactic that may initially appear as passionate love but can ultimately lead to emotional harm. By being aware of the signs, trusting your intuition, and setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from manipulative relationships. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and a balanced exchange of affection. If someone’s behavior feels overwhelming or controlling, it’s okay to step back and re-evaluate the relationship. Remember, real love grows over time and doesn’t need to be forced.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

  • Braiker, H. B. (2001). Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. McGraw Hill.
  • Campbell, W. K., & Foster, C. A. (2002). Narcissism and Commitment in Romantic Relationships: An Investment Model Analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(4), 484-495.
  • Freeman, L. (2018). Manipulative Behavior in Relationships: How to Spot It and Protect Yourself. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
  • Hammond, C. (2018). The Dangers of Love Bombing: Recognize the Signs. Journal of Personal Relationships and Social Psychology, 75(2), 231-243.
  • Lancer, D. (2017). Dealing with Narcissists: How to Break Free from the Cycle of Manipulation and Abuse. Hazelden Publishing.
  • Stosny, S. (2019). Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
Does my teenager act “Entitled”? Understanding and Addressing Entitlement

Parents often encounter behavior in their teenagers that feels entitled—expecting special treatment, assuming privileges without effort, or displaying frustration when things don’t go their way. These behaviors can be confusing and frustrating, especially when parents aim to raise respectful, independent, and resilient young adults. Understanding what “entitlement” truly means, why it arises during adolescence, and how to address it can help parents navigate this challenging aspect of development.

1. Defining Entitlement in Teenagers

Entitlement is generally defined as an expectation of special treatment or privileges without reciprocal effort, responsibility, or appreciation. An “entitled” teenager may assume that their needs should come first, express frustration when they don’t get what they want, or expect rewards for minimal effort. This mindset can lead to struggles in relationships, academic settings, and future work environments if not addressed (Twenge & Campbell, 2009).

However, it’s important to distinguish normal adolescent self-focus from true entitlement. Adolescence is a time when teens are naturally centered on themselves as they explore their identities and seek independence. This phase of self-centeredness doesn’t always equal entitlement but can appear that way if certain behaviors aren’t balanced with empathy, responsibility, and appreciation.

2. Why Does Entitlement Develop in Teenagers?

Several factors contribute to the development of entitlement in teenagers, including societal influences, parenting styles, and the natural developmental processes of adolescence. Recognizing these influences can help parents understand the root causes and address entitlement more effectively.

A. Brain Development and the Adolescent Mindset

During the teenage years, the brain undergoes significant changes, particularly in areas responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation. This makes teens more focused on their immediate needs and desires, which can amplify entitled behaviors (Blakemore, 2018). Teens’ developing brains make it harder for them to weigh long-term consequences, so they may seek instant gratification and resist responsibility or hard work (Siegel, 2013).

B. Influence of Consumer Culture and Social Media

Teenagers are constantly exposed to social media and advertising that promotes instant gratification, materialism, and a “have-it-all” mentality. These messages can reinforce a sense of entitlement by suggesting that everyone deserves the latest trend, special treatment, or success without much effort (APA, 2019). Social media can also create unrealistic comparisons, making teens feel entitled to lifestyles or privileges similar to those they see online (Pew Research Center, 2018).

C. Parenting Styles and Overprotection

Overly permissive or “helicopter” parenting can unintentionally foster entitlement. When parents shield teens from responsibility or clear obstacles in their path, teens may begin to assume that life should always go smoothly and that they deserve special accommodations (Lythcott-Haims, 2015). While parental support is vital, balancing it with appropriate expectations and responsibilities is key to avoiding entitled attitudes.

3. Signs of Entitlement in Teenagers

Recognizing entitlement in teens can sometimes be tricky, as it may overlap with normal adolescent behaviors. However, certain patterns can indicate entitlement:

  • Lack of Appreciation: They rarely express gratitude or acknowledge the efforts others make on their behalf.
  • Avoiding Responsibilities: They expect privileges without putting in the required effort or fulfilling responsibilities, like household chores or academic work.
  • Resistance to “No”: They struggle to handle denial, setbacks, or limitations, often reacting with frustration or defiance.
  • Sense of Deserving Special Treatment: They expect special accommodations or assume they should receive rewards for minimal effort (Twenge & Campbell, 2009).

These behaviors can often lead to frustration and conflict within the family, as well as difficulties in other social settings, if left unchecked.

4. Addressing and Reducing Entitlement in Teens

Addressing entitlement doesn’t mean stripping teens of their independence or denying them privileges. Instead, it involves setting healthy boundaries, encouraging gratitude, and fostering resilience. Here are some practical strategies:

A. Teach Responsibility Through Consequences

It’s essential to allow teens to experience the natural consequences of their actions. When they make a mistake or avoid responsibilities, allow them to feel the results rather than rescuing them. This helps them understand that privileges and rewards are earned, not automatically granted (Kobliner, 2017).

B. Encourage Empathy and Perspective-Taking

Help your teen understand how their actions impact others by encouraging empathy. Discuss scenarios where they consider others’ perspectives, whether it’s the effort parents put into providing for them or the responsibilities their peers manage. Empathy-building exercises can shift their focus from self-centered expectations to a more balanced view of relationships and responsibilities (Gottman & DeClaire, 1998).

C. Model and Encourage Gratitude

Practicing gratitude has been shown to reduce entitlement and promote well-being. Encourage your teen to regularly acknowledge things they’re thankful for, whether through a gratitude journal or family discussions. When teens recognize what they have, they’re less likely to expect special treatment (Emmons, 2007).

D. Promote a “Growth Mindset”

Carol Dweck’s concept of a “growth mindset” encourages teens to value effort, learning, and resilience rather than expecting instant success or rewards. Emphasize the importance of persistence and improvement rather than immediate outcomes. This helps teens shift their focus from entitlement to personal growth and responsibility (Dweck, 2006).

E. Set Boundaries Around Privileges

Provide structure around privileges by connecting them to responsibilities. For instance, allow certain privileges only when chores, schoolwork, or other tasks are completed. Explain that privileges are not guaranteed but are earned through responsible behavior. This creates a sense of accountability and helps teens see the link between effort and reward (Kobliner, 2017).

5. Understanding Entitlement as a Phase, Not a Personality

It’s important to remember that entitlement in teens is often a temporary phase rather than a permanent personality trait. As teens grow and gain real-world experiences, many naturally outgrow entitlement, developing a greater sense of empathy, gratitude, and responsibility. With consistent guidance, you can support this growth and help them develop into resilient, respectful adults (Siegel, 2013).

Conclusion: Fostering Respect and Responsibility in Place of Entitlement

Navigating entitlement in teenagers can be challenging, but it’s possible to guide them toward a healthier outlook with understanding and the right strategies. By teaching responsibility, modeling gratitude, and promoting empathy, parents can help teens balance their needs with an appreciation for others. Recognizing that entitlement is often a developmental phase can help parents approach the issue with patience, knowing that with guidance, their teen can grow into a more self-aware and considerate young adult.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

  • American Psychological Association. (2019). The Effects of Social Media on Children and Adolescents. APA.
  • Blakemore, S. J. (2018). Inventing Ourselves: The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain. PublicAffairs.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  • Emmons, R. A. (2007). Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Houghton Mifflin.
  • Gottman, J., & DeClaire, J. (1998). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Simon & Schuster.
  • Kobliner, B. (2017). Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even If You’re Not). Simon & Schuster.
  • Lythcott-Haims, J. (2015). How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Henry Holt and Company.
  • Pew Research Center. (2018). Teens, Social Media & Technology 2018. Pew Research Center.
  • Siegel, D. J. (2013). Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. TarcherPerigee.
  • Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.

Women, Are You a Wife Worth Dying For?

The concept of sacrificial love in marriage is a deeply profound one, especially within the Christian tradition. Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This call for husbands to be willing to lay down their lives for their wives raises an important question: women, are you a wife worth dying for? This question invites reflection on what it means to be a wife who fosters a marriage worthy of such a selfless love.

The Mutual Nature of Sacrificial Love

Before exploring what makes a wife “worth dying for,” it’s important to understand the reciprocal nature of love within a biblical marriage. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This mutual submission lays the foundation for how both husbands and wives are to treat each other—with love, respect, and selflessness.

While husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, wives are likewise called to respect and support their husbands in ways that build up the marriage and the household. In this sense, both partners in the marriage are asked to give of themselves, though in different ways. As theologian R.C. Sproul notes, “The submission of the wife is a fitting response to the sacrificial love of the husband, which models the gospel message in its most basic form: giving oneself for the good of another.”

Cultivating a Relationship Worthy of Sacrifice

Being a wife worth dying for does not imply that a wife must achieve perfection or live up to an impossible standard. Instead, it refers to the qualities that contribute to a healthy, loving, and mutually fulfilling marriage. One key aspect is emotional and spiritual support. A wife who provides her husband with a sense of emotional security and encouragement creates an environment where love can thrive. She offers empathy, understanding, and compassion, making her husband feel valued and respected.

In Proverbs 31, we see a portrait of a virtuous wife whose actions benefit her entire household. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (Proverbs 31:11). A wife who is trustworthy, hardworking, and loving creates a partnership where both husband and wife are lifted up. This is the kind of relationship that fosters deep, sacrificial love on both sides.

Christian marriage counselor and author Gary Thomas explains, “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.” Wives who actively invest in their marriages, who communicate well and build strong emotional connections, contribute to a relationship where sacrificial love can naturally flourish.

Building a Relationship of Mutual Growth

A wife worth dying for also understands that marriage is a journey of mutual growth. Both partners must be committed to growing together, learning from one another, and building a life that reflects their shared values and faith. This means cultivating a relationship based on forgiveness, grace, and patience.

Theologian Timothy Keller, in The Meaning of Marriage, speaks to the importance of grace in marital growth: “The reason marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is both painful and wonderful at once.” Just as Christ’s sacrificial love is transformative, so is the love that spouses share when they forgive, grow, and strive to be better partners.

Wives who are committed to personal and spiritual growth, both in themselves and in their marriage, are laying the groundwork for a love that is deep and abiding. A relationship built on mutual growth, where both partners continually seek to improve and support each other, is one worth cherishing and protecting at all costs.

The Power of Respect and Honor

Respect is often seen as one of the most important components in a successful marriage. For many men, feeling respected by their wives is central to feeling loved. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” A wife who respects her husband fosters an environment where he can lead with love and confidence.

This respect does not mean subservience or blind obedience, but rather recognizing the unique qualities and strengths that each partner brings to the marriage. Psychologist Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect, explains that a man’s need for respect is deeply tied to his ability to love his wife well. When a wife shows respect for her husband, it encourages him to offer the kind of sacrificial love that Christ modeled for the church.

Conclusion: Are You Worth Dying For?

The idea of being a wife worth dying for is not about earning your husband’s love through perfection, but rather about fostering a marriage grounded in mutual love, respect, and growth. A wife who supports her husband emotionally, spiritually, and relationally creates an environment where sacrificial love can flourish.

Sacrificial love, at its core, is about giving of oneself for the benefit of the other. When both husband and wife embrace this mindset, the marriage becomes a reflection of Christ’s love for the church—a love so deep and abiding that it is worth laying down one’s life for.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the social work field and is based in London Kentucky through Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. Mr. Collier may be reached by phone at (606) 657–0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

  1. The Holy Bible, New International Version, Ephesians 5:21-33.
  2. Sproul, R.C. The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage. Reformation Trust Publishing, 2003.
  3. Thomas, Gary. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? Zondervan, 2000.
  4. Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. Penguin Books, 2011.
  5. Eggerichs, Emerson. Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Thomas Nelson, 2004.
  6. The Holy Bible, New International Version, Proverbs 31:10-31.