Becoming Better: The Daily Work of a Good Man
“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.”
— Albert Pine (often attributed to Albert Pike)
As I’ve gotten older, I have found myself thinking more about what kind of man I am and what kind of man I want to become.
Not because I think I have everything figured out.
Actually, it is the opposite.
The more I learn, the more I realize how much I still need to grow.
Every day, I try to be a better man than I was yesterday. And if I’m honest, that can be hard. Some days I do well. Other days I fall short. I lose my patience. I become frustrated. I make mistakes. I say things I wish I could take back.
But then I wake up the next morning and try again.
For me, that is what being a moral man looks like.
It is not being perfect.
It is being committed to growing.
The Man in the Mirror
Every morning, the first person I have to answer to is the man in the mirror.
I can fool other people. I can make excuses. I can blame circumstances.
But deep down, I know when I could have done better.
I know when I should have listened more.
I know when I should have shown more patience.
I know when I should have chosen courage instead of comfort.
The struggle is not with other people nearly as much as it is with myself.
The person I am competing with today is the person I was yesterday.
What Really Matters
As the Executive Director of a growing behavioral health organization, I spend much of my life helping people. I work with individuals who are struggling, families who are hurting, children who need support, and staff members who are trying to make a difference.
The longer I do this work, the more I realize something important.
People will not remember most of our titles.
They will not remember how many meetings we attended.
They will not remember how much money we made.
But they will remember how we treated them.
They will remember whether we showed up when they needed us.
They will remember whether we cared.
That is why Albert Pine’s quote speaks so deeply to me.
Everything I do for myself will eventually be gone.
But the people I help, the encouragement I give, the kindness I show, and the lives I touch may continue long after I am gone.
A Good Man Is Never Finished
One lesson life has taught me is that becoming a good man is never a completed project.
There is always room to improve.
I can become a better father.
A better leader.
A better friend.
A better partner.
A better listener.
A better example.
There is always another lesson to learn and another weakness to overcome.
For many men, that can feel discouraging.
I see it differently.
I believe it is a gift.
If I still have room to grow, then I still have purpose.
The Quiet Things Matter Most
Many people think a legacy is built by doing something famous.
I do not believe that.
I believe most legacies are built in ordinary moments.
A father staying up late to help his child.
A husband keeping his promises.
A friend answering the phone when someone is hurting.
A man doing the right thing when nobody is watching.
These moments may never make headlines.
But they shape lives.
In my work, I have met many people who can clearly remember a teacher, coach, parent, counselor, or mentor who changed their life with a few simple words or actions.
That is the power of doing good for others.
Small acts often leave the biggest footprints.
Why We Keep Trying
The world can be difficult.
There are days when being kind feels harder than being angry.
There are days when honesty costs us something.
There are days when doing the right thing seems unnoticed.
Yet good men keep trying.
We keep trying because character matters.
We keep trying because our children are watching.
We keep trying because the people around us deserve our best.
We keep trying because we know the world becomes a little better every time someone chooses integrity over selfishness.
A moral man does not always succeed.
But he refuses to quit trying.
The Immortal Part of a Man
One day, every one of us will leave this world.
Our jobs will be filled by someone else.
Our belongings will belong to someone else.
Our accomplishments will slowly fade into history.
But something remains.
The love we gave.
The lives we helped.
The wisdom we shared.
The people we encouraged.
The sacrifices we made for others.
That is the immortal part of a man.
Not the things he owned.
The lives he touched.
Conclusion
When I think about Albert Pine’s quote, I am reminded that the goal is not simply to have a successful life.
The goal is to have a meaningful one.
I do not want to be remembered for what I accumulated.
I want to be remembered for what I contributed.
Like many men, I am still a work in progress. I still stumble. I still learn. I still have days when I am not the man I want to be.
But every morning, I get another chance.
Another chance to be a little wiser.
A little kinder.
A little stronger.
A little better than I was yesterday.
And if I can help someone else along the way, then perhaps a small part of my life will continue living in the lives of others.
That is the kind of immortality worth striving for.
“The goal is not to become a perfect man. The goal is to become a better man today than you were yesterday and a better man tomorrow than you are today.”
About the Author
John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor, Executive Director of Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC, and author of The Mind’s Trestle Board. Through his work in behavioral health, leadership, and writing, he explores personal growth, resilience, character development, and the daily pursuit of becoming the person we were created to be.
References
Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press.
Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics.
Pine, A. (attributed). “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.”