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Surviving the Affair: When You No Longer want to Stay

Part Four: The Unfaithful Spouse Who Has Chosen to End the Marriage

Walking away from a marriage after having an affair is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences in relationship counseling. Society often assumes that the spouse who was unfaithful has found happiness while everyone else is left with pain. While that is occasionally true, the emotional reality is usually far more complicated. Many unfaithful spouses discover that ending the marriage does not bring the peace they expected. Instead, they find themselves carrying overwhelming guilt, grief, confusion, and the weight of knowing that their decisions have permanently altered the lives of the people they once promised to love and protect.

Some have genuinely fallen in love with another person. Some realize they emotionally left the marriage years before the affair ever began. Others recognize that their marriage had become unhealthy long before infidelity occurred, and the affair simply accelerated a decision they had been avoiding.

None of these realities excuse unfaithfulness. An affair is never an ethical way to end a marriage. However, understanding why an unfaithful spouse no longer wants to remain married is essential if healing is ever going to occur—for everyone involved. This article is not written to defend infidelity. It is written to help those who have chosen not to reconcile leave their marriage with honesty, responsibility, compassion, and integrity rather than continuing deception and emotional destruction.

The Affair Was Not the Beginning

Many unfaithful spouses eventually admit something difficult. The affair was not the beginning of the end. It was the symptom. For months—or sometimes years—they had emotionally disconnected from the marriage. They stopped sharing their fears. They buried resentment. They avoided conflict. They convinced themselves that things would somehow improve without difficult conversations.

Instead, emotional distance became loneliness. Loneliness became vulnerability. Vulnerability became secrecy. Secrecy became infidelity. Recognizing this progression does not remove responsibility. Instead, it provides an opportunity to understand what happened so the same pattern is not repeated in future relationships. If you do not understand how you arrived here, you are far more likely to repeat the same mistakes.

Honesty Is Painful for a Moment. Deception Is Painful for a Lifetime.

Many people remain emotionally trapped because they cannot bear the thought of hurting their spouse. Ironically, prolonged deception almost always creates greater pain than difficult honesty. Remaining emotionally unavailable while pretending to work on the marriage prolongs false hope. False hope delays healing. If you have truly decided that your marriage is over, one of the most compassionate gifts you can give your spouse is complete honesty. That honesty should never be harsh. It should never become an attempt to justify the affair. It should never shift responsibility onto your spouse. But it must be truthful. People deserve the dignity of making life-changing decisions based upon reality—not illusion.

Accept Responsibility Without Rewriting History

One of the greatest temptations after an affair is rewriting the history of the marriage to reduce feelings of guilt. Statements such as:

  • “We were never happy.”
  • “I never really loved you.”
  • “Our marriage was always terrible.”

often become attempts to justify leaving rather than honest descriptions of reality. Most marriages contain beautiful memories alongside painful struggles. Acknowledging the good does not require remaining married. Acknowledging the problems does not justify becoming unfaithful. Healthy accountability sounds different. It says:

“Our marriage had serious problems, but I chose an unhealthy and dishonest way to respond to those problems.”

That statement accepts responsibility without distorting history.

Guilt Can Become Your Greatest Teacher

Healthy guilt serves an important purpose. It reminds us that our behavior violated our own values.

Shame says: “I am a terrible person.”

Healthy guilt says: “I made terrible decisions.”

The distinction matters. People who become trapped in shame often become defensive, withdrawn, or emotionally paralyzed. People who embrace healthy guilt often become teachable. Personal growth begins when accountability replaces self-protection.

Ending a Marriage With Integrity

If reconciliation is no longer possible—or no longer desired—there are healthier ways to move forward. Ending a marriage with integrity means:

  • Being completely truthful.
  • Taking full responsibility for your choices.
  • Refusing to blame your spouse for your decision to be unfaithful.
  • Protecting your children from adult conflict.
  • Treating your spouse with dignity throughout the separation or divorce.
  • Avoiding unnecessary public humiliation.
  • Honoring financial and parental responsibilities.
  • Speaking respectfully, even when emotions remain intense.

Integrity after failure does not erase the past. It does determine the kind of person you become afterward.

What About the New Relationship?

Many affairs do not survive once secrecy disappears. The excitement of hidden meetings often fades beneath the realities of everyday life. Even when the new relationship continues, unresolved guilt frequently follows. Questions begin to emerge.

  • “Will they ever truly trust me?”
  • “Can I fully trust someone who entered a relationship with me this way?”
  • “Did we build our relationship on a foundation of deception?”

These are not questions to avoid. They are questions to confront honestly. Every healthy relationship is ultimately built upon trust, openness, and integrity. Without those qualities, history has a way of repeating itself.

Children Are Watching More Than They Hear

When children are involved, they learn far more from your behavior than your explanations. They notice:

  • How conflict is handled.
  • How parents speak about one another.
  • Whether responsibility is accepted.
  • Whether apologies are sincere.
  • Whether respect survives disappointment.

Your marriage may end. Your influence as a parent does not. The character you demonstrate during this season may become one of the greatest lessons your children carry into their own future relationships.

Tools for Moving Forward

If you have chosen to end your marriage, consider these practical steps:

  • Participate in individual therapy to understand the emotional needs and vulnerabilities that contributed to the affair.
  • End all deception immediately.
  • Accept responsibility without minimizing your choices.
  • Resist the urge to defend yourself through blame.
  • Communicate respectfully with your spouse.
  • Protect your children from adult conflict.
  • Establish healthy emotional boundaries.
  • Delay entering another serious relationship until you have processed your own growth.
  • Surround yourself with people who encourage accountability rather than excuses.
  • Practice regular self-reflection, humility, and personal growth.

A Christian Perspective

Scripture teaches both truth and grace. It never minimizes the seriousness of infidelity. Neither does it suggest that failure places a person beyond God’s redemption. King David committed adultery. Peter denied Christ. The Apostle Paul persecuted believers before becoming one of Christianity’s greatest missionaries. Each experienced profound failure. Each also experienced genuine repentance and transformation. If your marriage cannot be restored, your character still can.

God’s forgiveness never removes earthly consequences. It does, however, offer the opportunity to become someone different from the person who made those destructive choices. Psalm 51 reminds us that authentic repentance begins not with excuses but with honest confession and a sincere desire for a transformed heart.

A Therapist’s Reflection

One of the saddest statements I hear in my office comes from unfaithful spouses who quietly say,

“I wish I had ended my marriage before I ever had the affair.”

Those words are rarely spoken with relief. They are usually spoken with tears. Not because divorce would have been painless. But because deception made an already painful situation infinitely more destructive. If reconciliation is no longer your desire, choose honesty today instead of another month—or another year—of pretending.

Do not spend your energy defending what cannot be defended. Invest that same energy in becoming someone who lives with greater honesty, humility, courage, and integrity. The affair does not have to define the rest of your life. But your response to it will shape the person you become. Choose responsibility. Choose truth. Choose humility. Choose growth. Even after profound failure, those choices remain available.

About the Author

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, author, educator, and speaker with decades of experience helping individuals, couples, and families navigate life’s most difficult emotional challenges. Throughout his career, he has worked extensively with people struggling with relationship conflict, betrayal, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, addiction, and life transitions. His counseling approach combines evidence-based psychological practices with practical wisdom, compassion, and a deep respect for each person’s unique journey.

John has devoted much of his professional life to understanding the complexities of human relationships. He has counseled couples working to rebuild trust after infidelity, individuals recovering from betrayal, and families seeking healing after painful life events. His clinical experience has reinforced one enduring truth: while relationships can be profoundly wounded, people possess an extraordinary capacity for growth, resilience, forgiveness, and transformation when they are equipped with the right tools and support.

As an author, John seeks to bridge the gap between professional mental health knowledge and everyday life. His writing translates complex psychological concepts into practical guidance that readers can understand and apply immediately. Whether addressing marriage, parenting, emotional wellness, trauma recovery, or spiritual growth, his goal is to provide resources that are both clinically sound and personally encouraging.

Surviving the Affair reflects John’s commitment to approaching infidelity with both honesty and compassion. Rather than reducing people to labels or stereotypes, he explores the emotional realities experienced by everyone affected—the betrayed spouse, the unfaithful partner, the affair partner, and the families whose lives are forever changed. Drawing upon years of therapeutic experience, he emphasizes accountability without condemnation, healing without minimizing pain, and hope without offering unrealistic promises.

John believes that healing begins when people are willing to face the truth with courage. While not every relationship can or should be restored, every individual has the capacity to grow beyond betrayal, rediscover integrity, and build a healthier future. His passion is helping readers move from surviving life’s greatest wounds to living with renewed purpose, emotional strength, and hope.

Through his books, speaking engagements, and counseling work, John continues to encourage others to pursue emotional health, healthy relationships, personal responsibility, and lasting transformation—one step at a time.ountability, emotional healing, evidence-based therapeutic practices, and Christian principles of grace, truth, and personal transformation. Through his writing and counseling, John seeks to help people understand the complexities of human relationships, rebuild lives after failure, and discover hope beyond their greatest challenges.

References

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. (2015). Infidelity. https://www.aamft.org

Baucom, D. H., Snyder, D. K., & Gordon, K. C. (2009). Helping Couples Get Past the Affair: A Clinician’s Guide. Guilford Press.

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly. Gotham Books.

Glass, S. P. (2003). Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. Free Press.

Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2), 213–231.

Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Harper.

Snyder, D. K., Baucom, D. H., & Gordon, K. C. (2007). Getting Past the Affair. Guilford Press.

The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.

When Your Heart Wants Them Back but Your Mind Knows Better:

Understanding the Battle Between Emotion and Logic After Heartbreak

Article Three: Part of the Healing After Heartbreak Series

Your Phone Lights Up

Your phone vibrates. For just a second, your heart races.

“Maybe it’s them.”

You reach for your phone almost before your mind has time to think. But it isn’t. It’s a weather alert. Or a friend. Or an advertisement. Your heart sinks just as quickly as it leaped. Then, almost immediately, another thought appears.

  • “Maybe I should text them.”
  • “Maybe enough time has passed.”
  • “Maybe they’ve changed.”

Your mind quietly reminds you why the relationship ended. Your heart answers, “Yes…but I still miss them.” If you’ve ever felt like your heart and your mind were arguing with each other, you’re not alone. This internal battle is one of the most common experiences after the end of a meaningful relationship.

Why Do I Feel This Way?

Many people believe that if they know a relationship was unhealthy, they shouldn’t miss the other person. Unfortunately, emotions don’t work that way. Love is more than a decision. It is also a collection of memories, routines, hopes, dreams, habits, and emotional bonds that were built over time.

When a relationship ends, those bonds do not disappear overnight. Your logical mind may understand that the relationship needed to end. Your emotional brain is still adjusting to the loss. That isn’t weakness. It’s part of being human.

Research has shown that romantic attachment shares many characteristics with other forms of attachment. When those attachments are broken, the brain often continues seeking closeness even after the relationship has ended (Fisher, Brown, Aron, Strong, & Mashek, 2010).

Your Brain Loves Familiar

Imagine you’ve driven the same road to work every morning for five years. One day, the road closes. Even though you know it is closed, you may still find yourself turning toward it out of habit. Relationships create similar emotional pathways. You became used to hearing their voice. Sharing good news. Sending funny memes. Talking before bed. Planning weekends. Your brain became familiar with that routine.

Now the routine is gone. The longing you feel is not always a sign that the relationship was right. Sometimes it is simply a sign that the relationship was familiar.

Missing Someone Doesn’t Always Mean You Should Go Back

This is one of the hardest truths to accept. You can deeply miss someone……and still know they were not good for you. Both things can be true. Consider these examples:

  • A person may miss someone who constantly criticized them.
  • Someone may long for an ex who repeatedly broke their trust.
  • A person may miss the companionship of a relationship even though they were unhappy most of the time.

Missing someone is evidence that you loved. It is not evidence that returning is the healthiest choice.

A Real-Life Example

Imagine a woman named Sarah who spent eight years with someone she loved deeply. Over time, the relationship became filled with broken promises, constant arguments, and emotional distance. When they finally separated, Sarah knew it was the right decision.

Yet every evening around six o’clock she reached for her phone. Not because anything had changed. Because for eight years, six o’clock was when they talked about their day. Her heart missed the routine. Her mind remembered the reality.

Healing required learning to create a new evening routine rather than returning to an unhealthy relationship simply because the old one felt familiar.

Love Can Leave an Echo

Think about walking through a canyon. You shout once. The sound continues long after you’ve stopped speaking. Relationships can leave emotional echoes. You may hear a song. Drive past a favorite restaurant. See someone wearing their favorite color. Smell a familiar perfume or cologne. Suddenly, your heart feels as if the breakup happened yesterday. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means memories are connected to your senses. Over time, those echoes become quieter.

Signs Your Heart and Mind Are Disagreeing

You might notice thoughts like these:

Your Heart Says:

  • “I miss them.”
  • “I just want one more conversation.”
  • “Maybe this time will be different.”
  • “I still love them.”

Your Mind Says:

  • “Remember why it ended.”
  • “You deserve consistency.”
  • “Love should not require constant suffering.”
  • “Missing someone isn’t the same as needing them.”

Learning to listen to both—and letting wisdom guide your decisions—is part of emotional maturity.

Therapist’s Note

One of the greatest acts of self-respect is refusing to confuse loneliness with compatibility. There are moments when your heart will ask you to go back simply because moving forward feels unfamiliar. Give your heart compassion. But let your values steer your life.

What You Can Do

The next time you feel the urge to reach out to someone you know is unhealthy for you, pause before acting. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I miss this person, or do I miss having someone?
  • Am I remembering the whole relationship or only the good moments?
  • If nothing about this person changed, would I still choose this relationship?
  • Am I looking for healing or temporary relief?

Then write your answers down. Sometimes seeing your thoughts on paper helps your emotions catch up with what your mind already knows.

Build a New Routine

One of the healthiest ways to quiet emotional longing is to replace old routines with new ones. Instead of checking your phone every evening:

  • Go for a walk.
  • Read for twenty minutes.
  • Call a friend.
  • Learn a new hobby.
  • Spend time in prayer or meditation.
  • Exercise.
  • Journal about your progress.

You are not simply filling time. You are teaching your brain that life continues.

Final Thoughts

There may come a day when you think about them and smile instead of cry. Not because they came back. But because you finally came back to yourself. Healing is not forgetting someone who mattered. Healing is remembering yourself enough to stop chasing what continues to hurt you. Your heart may take longer than your mind. That’s okay. Walk at the pace of healing, not the pace of loneliness.

About the Author

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Executive Director of Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health, LLC. With more than 25 years of experience in behavioral health, trauma, grief, and relationship counseling, he has helped individuals understand the connection between emotions, thoughts, and healthy decision-making. His goal is to make psychological concepts practical, hopeful, and accessible for people navigating life’s most difficult seasons.

References

Fisher, H. E., Brown, L. L., Aron, A., Strong, G., & Mashek, D. (2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51–60.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Love, Loss, and the Space Between: Stop Avoiding Pain and Start Living Your Life. Hay House.

Series Reminder

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means carrying yesterday without letting it steal tomorrow.

Qualities a Christian Woman Should Look for in a Man

Selecting a life partner is one of the most meaningful and life-shaping decisions a woman can make. For a Christian woman, this discernment extends beyond attraction or shared interests. Scripture emphasizes character, leadership, emotional health, and spiritual integrity as essential foundations for a Christ-centered relationship.

1. Genuine and Active Faith

Spiritual unity is foundational to a healthy Christian marriage.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

A man’s faith should be evident in daily living, not merely claimed in words.

Signs of authentic faith may include:

Personal prayer and devotion Consistency between belief and behavior Desire for spiritual growth Christlike humility

Shared faith is associated with higher marital satisfaction and relational stability (Mahoney et al., 2001).

2. Godly Character

Character determines long-term safety and trust.

“By their fruit you will recognize them.” — Matthew 7:16

Key traits:

Integrity Honesty Dependability Moral consistency

Research shows that trustworthiness and kindness strongly predict relationship success (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

3. Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is critical for conflict management and intimacy.

Healthy indicators:

Takes responsibility for emotions Manages stress without aggression Communicates openly Demonstrates empathy

Emotional regulation is closely linked to marital satisfaction (Bloch et al., 2014).

4. Humility

Humility allows space for grace, forgiveness, and teamwork.

Philippians 2:3

A humble man:

Accepts correction Apologizes when wrong Avoids defensiveness Values unity

Defensiveness and pride are predictors of relational distress (Gottman, 1994).

5. Respectfulness

Respect fosters emotional safety and partnership.

Ephesians 5:25, 33

Respect is reflected in:

Communication tone Treatment of others Boundaries Conflict behavior

Chronic disrespect and contempt are strongly associated with divorce (Gottman, 1994).

6. Servant Leadership

Biblical leadership is not dominance, but loving responsibility.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” — Ephesians 5:25

Healthy leadership includes:

Spiritual guidance Protection Accountability Self-sacrifice

Research suggests that mutual respect and shared decision-making predict stronger marriages (Stanley et al., 2006).

7. Stability and Responsibility

A man’s reliability impacts emotional and practical security.

Consider:

Work ethic Financial responsibility Follow-through Consistency

Financial conflict is a major predictor of marital stress (Dew, 2009).

8. Wisdom and Discernment

Wisdom influences decisions, priorities, and relational direction.

Proverbs 13:20

A wise man:

Thinks before reacting Seeks counsel Avoids impulsive behavior Encourages healthy choices

9. Healthy Communication Skills

Communication builds connection and prevents resentment.

Look for:

Active listening Emotional openness Gentle honesty Conflict resolution skills

Poor communication patterns predict marital dissatisfaction (Markman et al., 2010).

10. Love Demonstrated Through Action

Biblical love is visible, consistent, and sacrificial.

1 Corinthians 13

Healthy love:

Protects Serves Sacrifices Remains faithful

Important Perspective: Self-Reflection

Discernment also involves personal growth:

“Am I becoming the kind of woman prepared for a healthy, godly relationship?”

Healthy Christian relationships are reciprocal:

Seek God first Cultivate emotional health Develop wisdom and boundaries

Red Flags Worth Careful Consideration

Chronic dishonesty Anger without accountability Disrespectful speech Manipulative tendencies Irresponsibility Spiritual inconsistency

Ignoring early warning signs often leads to deeper emotional harm (Gottman, 1994).

Conclusion

While attraction and compatibility matter, Scripture highlights enduring qualities:

“The righteous man walks in his integrity.” — Proverbs 20:7

Lasting relational fulfillment flows from character, faith, humility, emotional maturity, and Christlike love.

About the Author

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a behavioral health therapist and writer specializing in relationships, emotional wellness, and faith-integrated psychological insight. His work blends clinical understanding with biblical principles to promote healthier individuals, couples, and families.

References

Bloch, L., Haase, C. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2014). Emotion regulation predicts marital satisfaction. Emotion, 14(2), 345–356.

Dew, J. (2009). Financial issues and marital satisfaction. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 30(4), 328–341.

Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why marriages succeed or fail. Simon & Schuster.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishing.

Mahoney, A., Pargament, K. I., Murray-Swank, A., & Murray-Swank, N. (2001). Religion and marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 15(4), 559–596.

Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. (2010). Fighting for your marriage. Jossey-Bass.

Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Whitton, S. W. (2006). Commitment and relationship stability. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68(4), 1061–1077.

The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV).

Qualities a Christian Man Should Look for in a Woman

Choosing a life partner is one of the most consequential decisions a person can make. For a Christian man, this choice is not guided solely by attraction or compatibility, but by biblical wisdom, character discernment, and long-term spiritual alignment. Scripture, supported by relationship research, points toward qualities that foster stability, intimacy, and Christ-centered unity.

1. Genuine and Active Faith

A shared spiritual foundation is essential for relational unity.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

Faith here implies more than affiliation. It reflects a living, growing relationship with God.

Indicators of authentic faith may include:

Personal prayer and devotion Desire for spiritual growth Alignment with biblical values

Research consistently shows that shared religious beliefs correlate with greater marital satisfaction and stability (Mahoney et al., 2001).

2. Godly Character

Character sustains love long after emotional intensity fluctuates.

“A wife of noble character who can find?” — Proverbs 31:10

Core traits:

Integrity Honesty Reliability Compassion

Longitudinal studies suggest that kindness and emotional stability are stronger predictors of marital success than physical attraction (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

3. Humility

Humility allows space for grace, growth, and conflict resolution.

Philippians 2:3

A humble partner:

Accepts feedback Apologizes when wrong Prioritizes unity over pride

Humility reduces defensiveness — a known predictor of relationship breakdown (Gottman, 1994).

4. Kindness and Compassion

Marriage requires gentleness and emotional safety.

Ephesians 4:32

Kindness:

Softens communication Builds trust Promotes emotional security

Research identifies kindness as the single most important trait in successful marriages (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

5. Emotional and Spiritual Stability

Perfection is unrealistic, but stability is vital.

Healthy signs:

Manages stress reasonably Takes responsibility for emotions Demonstrates resilience

Emotional regulation strongly predicts relational satisfaction (Bloch et al., 2014).

6. Respectfulness

Respect strengthens intimacy and partnership.

Ephesians 5:33

Respect is visible through:

Communication tone Conflict behavior Supportive attitudes

Contempt and chronic disrespect are among the strongest predictors of divorce (Gottman, 1994).

7. Shared Values and Vision

Compatibility is deeper than chemistry.

Consider alignment on:

Faith practices Family goals Lifestyle expectations Financial philosophy Boundaries

Value alignment reduces long-term conflict (Stanley et al., 2006).

8. Wisdom and Discernment

Wisdom guides decisions and protects the relationship.

Proverbs 14:1

A wise woman:

Thinks before reacting Seeks understanding Encourages healthy choices

9. Healthy Communication Skills

Strong communication fosters understanding and trust.

Look for:

Openness Active listening Honest yet gentle expression

Poor communication is one of the most cited causes of marital distress (Markman et al., 2010).

10. Love Expressed Through Action

Biblical love is active, not merely emotional.

1 Corinthians 13

Healthy love:

Serves Sacrifices Forgives Perseveres

Important Perspective: Self-Reflection

Scripture encourages not only discernment of others but evaluation of oneself:

“Am I becoming the kind of man worthy of such a woman?”

Healthy Christian relationships are reciprocal:

Seek God first Cultivate personal character Lead with love and integrity

Red Flags Worth Careful Discernment

Chronic dishonesty Disrespect or contempt Uncontrolled anger Manipulative patterns Indifference toward faith

Ignoring character concerns early often leads to deeper relational wounds later (Gottman, 1994).

Conclusion

While physical attraction and shared interests matter, Scripture emphasizes enduring qualities:

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” — Proverbs 31:30

Lasting fulfillment flows from character, faith, emotional safety, and spiritual unity.

About the Author

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW, is a behavioral health therapist and writer with a focus on relationships, emotional wellness, and faith-integrated psychology. His work bridges clinical insight with practical, real-world guidance, helping individuals and families build healthier, more resilient lives.

References

Bloch, L., Haase, C. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2014). Emotion regulation predicts marital satisfaction. Emotion, 14(2), 345-356.

Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why marriages succeed or fail. Simon & Schuster.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishing.

Mahoney, A., Pargament, K. I., Murray-Swank, A., & Murray-Swank, N. (2001). Religion and marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 15(4), 559-596.

Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. (2010). Fighting for your marriage. Jossey-Bass.

Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Whitton, S. W. (2006). Commitment and relationship stability. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68(4), 1061-1077.

The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV).