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Surviving the Affair

Part Two: When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

The Betrayed Spouse Who Cannot Forgive

There are few moments in life that permanently divide time into “before” and “after.” The discovery of an affair is one of them.

Many betrayed spouses remember the exact moment they found out. It becomes etched into memory with remarkable clarity. They remember where they were standing, the expression on their spouse’s face, the phone call, the text message, the photograph, the receipt, or the confession that forever changed their world. The details become frozen in time because betrayal is not simply painful—it is traumatic.

For many people, the greatest struggle after an affair is not deciding whether to stay or leave. It is the overwhelming realization that they cannot forgive. They may desperately want to forgive. Their faith may tell them they should forgive. Friends may encourage forgiveness. Their spouse may plead for forgiveness.

Yet every time they attempt it, the memories return. The images replay. The questions begin again. The anger resurfaces. Forgiveness seems to disappear as quickly as it came. If this describes your experience, you are not abnormal. You are traumatized. Understanding the difference is the first step toward healing.

Betrayal Is More Than Heartbreak

When someone you trust violates the foundation of your relationship, the injury reaches far beyond hurt feelings. An affair attacks several of our deepest psychological needs simultaneously:

  • Safety
  • Trust
  • Identity
  • Security
  • Self-worth
  • Emotional attachment
  • Future expectations

The person who once represented comfort suddenly becomes the source of fear. The person who promised protection becomes the one who caused the injury. This contradiction places the brain into survival mode.

Researchers have increasingly recognized betrayal trauma as a unique form of psychological injury because the source of comfort becomes the source of danger. This creates confusion that often resembles post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The What-If Loop

One of the most exhausting symptoms of betrayal is what therapists often call the “What-If Loop.” The mind searches endlessly for answers.

What if I had noticed sooner?
What if I had been more affectionate?
What if I had worked less?
What if I had looked different?
What if they loved the other person more?

The questions become relentless. Unfortunately, the human brain mistakenly believes that if it can answer every question, it will somehow eliminate the pain. It rarely does. Instead, each answer usually creates three new questions. Healing begins when we recognize that certainty is not always available. Sometimes recovery requires learning to live without complete explanations. (For more on the What If Loop, Click Here)

The Mind Replays What the Eyes Never Saw

Many betrayed spouses become haunted by mental movies. They imagine conversations. Hotel rooms. Vacations. Private messages. Laughter. Physical intimacy. These images may never have actually been witnessed, yet they feel vividly real. This is how trauma attempts to fill in missing information. The brain dislikes incomplete stories. It creates them. Unfortunately, the stories are usually worse than reality. This explains why intrusive thoughts continue months or even years after disclosure. They are symptoms of trauma—not weakness.

Anger Is Often Love’s Last Defense

People frequently apologize for being angry.

“I know I shouldn’t still be this angry.”
“I’ve prayed about it.”
“I’ve tried to let it go.”
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

Anger often protects something much more vulnerable. Beneath the anger is grief. Beneath the grief is love. Beneath the love is loss. When we understand anger as protection instead of failure, we stop fighting our emotions and begin listening to them. Anger asks important questions:

“Am I safe?”
“Can I trust again?”
“Will this happen again?”

These questions deserve honest answers.

Why Forgiveness Cannot Be Forced

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts in both psychology and Christianity. Forgiveness is not pretending it didn’t happen. It is not forgetting. It is not excusing betrayal. It is not immediately trusting again. It is not removing consequences. Forgiveness is gradually releasing the desire to remain emotionally imprisoned by another person’s actions. That process often takes considerable time. When people pressure themselves into premature forgiveness, they frequently experience what psychologists call pseudo-forgiveness. Outwardly they say, “I forgive you.” Internally, nothing has healed. The resentment simply becomes hidden. Authentic forgiveness grows naturally from healing. It rarely precedes it.

The Difference Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Many betrayed spouses fear that forgiving means they must remain in the marriage. It does not. Forgiveness concerns your heart. Reconciliation concerns the relationship. The two are related but not identical. Reconciliation requires:

  • Genuine remorse
  • Complete honesty
  • Transparency
  • Consistent trustworthy behavior
  • Patience
  • Accountability
  • Mutual commitment

One person can forgive. Two people must reconcile.

Common Triggers

Recovery rarely follows a straight line. Many seemingly ordinary experiences suddenly reopen emotional wounds. Common triggers include:

  • Anniversary dates
  • Holidays
  • Love songs
  • Hotel advertisements
  • Social media
  • Text notification sounds
  • Unexpected schedule changes
  • Certain perfumes or colognes
  • Particular restaurants
  • Movies involving infidelity

Triggers do not mean healing has failed. They simply remind us that the nervous system remembers what the mind wishes it could forget.

Tools for Healing

Healing requires more than waiting for time to pass. Intentional practices help the brain regain emotional stability. Consider these strategies:

  • Work with a therapist trained in betrayal trauma or couples counseling.
  • Practice grounding exercises when intrusive thoughts become overwhelming.
  • Develop healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise routines.
  • Limit repetitive questioning that no longer produces useful information.
  • Build a support system of emotionally healthy people.
  • Journal difficult emotions rather than suppressing them.
  • Establish boundaries that increase emotional safety.
  • Pray honestly rather than pretending to be spiritually stronger than you feel.

Healing rarely happens accidentally. It happens intentionally.

A Christian Perspective on Forgiveness

Jesus calls believers to forgive. He also never minimizes sin. Throughout Scripture we see both mercy and justice. Repentance and restoration. Truth and grace. Forgiveness does not require pretending evil never occurred. Rather, forgiveness entrusts justice to God while refusing to allow bitterness to define one’s future.

Romans 12:19 reminds believers: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath…”

Forgiveness becomes possible not because betrayal was small. It becomes possible because Christ has shown us that even great wounds can be redeemed. That redemption, however, is often a journey—not a single moment.

A Therapist’s Reflection

One of the most common statements I hear in my office is this:

“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive them.”

My response often surprises people. I tell them not to make forgiveness today’s assignment. Today’s assignment is breathing. Sleeping. Eating. Staying emotionally safe. Understanding what happened. Learning that trauma changes the brain. Finding healthy support. Forgiveness may come months later. Sometimes years later.

Sometimes forgiveness arrives quietly—not because the memories disappeared, but because the memories no longer control your life. Healing is rarely about forgetting. It is about remembering differently. The affair may always remain part of your story. It does not have to remain the author of your future.

About the Author

John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, author, educator, and speaker with decades of experience helping individuals, couples, and families navigate life’s most difficult emotional challenges. Throughout his career, he has worked extensively with people struggling with relationship conflict, betrayal, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, addiction, and life transitions. His counseling approach combines evidence-based psychological practices with practical wisdom, compassion, and a deep respect for each person’s unique journey.

John has devoted much of his professional life to understanding the complexities of human relationships. He has counseled couples working to rebuild trust after infidelity, individuals recovering from betrayal, and families seeking healing after painful life events. His clinical experience has reinforced one enduring truth: while relationships can be profoundly wounded, people possess an extraordinary capacity for growth, resilience, forgiveness, and transformation when they are equipped with the right tools and support.

As an author, John seeks to bridge the gap between professional mental health knowledge and everyday life. His writing translates complex psychological concepts into practical guidance that readers can understand and apply immediately. Whether addressing marriage, parenting, emotional wellness, trauma recovery, or spiritual growth, his goal is to provide resources that are both clinically sound and personally encouraging.

Surviving the Affair reflects John’s commitment to approaching infidelity with both honesty and compassion. Rather than reducing people to labels or stereotypes, he explores the emotional realities experienced by everyone affected—the betrayed spouse, the unfaithful partner, the affair partner, and the families whose lives are forever changed. Drawing upon years of therapeutic experience, he emphasizes accountability without condemnation, healing without minimizing pain, and hope without offering unrealistic promises.

John believes that healing begins when people are willing to face the truth with courage. While not every relationship can or should be restored, every individual has the capacity to grow beyond betrayal, rediscover integrity, and build a healthier future. His passion is helping readers move from surviving life’s greatest wounds to living with renewed purpose, emotional strength, and hope.

Through his books, speaking engagements, and counseling work, John continues to encourage others to pursue emotional health, healthy relationships, personal responsibility, and lasting transformation—one step at a time.healing and growth. His writing combines psychological research, clinical experience, and Christian principles to provide readers with hope, insight, and realistic pathways toward emotional recovery and healthier relationships.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Association Publishing.

Baucom, D. H., Snyder, D. K., & Gordon, K. C. (2009). Helping Couples Get Past the Affair: A Clinician’s Guide. Guilford Press.

Glass, S. P. (2003). Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. Free Press.

Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2), 213–231.

Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice. Guilford Press.

Snyder, D. K., Baucom, D. H., & Gordon, K. C. (2007). Getting Past the Affair. Guilford Press.

Spring, J. A. (2012). After the Affair (2nd ed.). Harper.

The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.

Part One

The Wounds No One Sees
An overview of betrayal, trauma, grief, and the emotional complexity of affairs.

Part Two (This Article)

The Betrayed Spouse Who Cannot Forgive
Understanding intrusive memories, resentment, trauma, and why forgiveness cannot be forced.

Part Three

The Betrayed Spouse Who Wants to Save the Marriage
Learning how trust is rebuilt, boundaries are established, and reconciliation becomes possible.

Part Four

The Betrayer Who Does Not Want to Stay
Navigating honesty, responsibility, guilt, and ending a marriage with integrity rather than continued deception.

Part Five

The Betrayer Who Wants to Reconcile
Understanding genuine remorse, rebuilding trust, transparency, and becoming trustworthy again.

Part Six

The Affair Partner Who Doesn’t Want the Relationship to End
Exploring attachment, hope, grief, and accepting that loving someone does not always justify continuing the relationship.

Part Seven

The Affair Partner Who Ends the Relationship Because It Is Morally Wrong
Examining grief, guilt, loneliness, moral conflict, and healing after choosing integrity over desire.

Part Eight

When Children, Families, and Friends Are Caught in the Middle
Understanding the wider ripple effects of infidelity and protecting those who never chose to be part of the story.

Part Nine

When Forgiveness Comes…and When It Doesn’t
Separating forgiveness from reconciliation and understanding what emotional freedom truly means.

Part Ten

Life After the Affair
Whether the marriage survives or ends, discovering how people rebuild identity, hope, purpose, and healthy relationships again.

What Is Rumination? as It Applies to Divorce—and How to Move Past It

Divorce is not just a legal ending; it is an emotional rupture that often leaves the mind stuck replaying the past. Many people going through divorce find themselves trapped in rumination—a mental loop of repetitive, intrusive thoughts about what went wrong, what should have been said, or how things could have turned out differently. While reflection can be healthy, rumination keeps a person emotionally anchored to pain and prevents healing.

What Is Rumination?

Rumination is a cognitive process in which a person repeatedly thinks about distressing experiences, emotions, or perceived failures without moving toward resolution or problem-solving. Unlike intentional reflection, rumination is passive, circular, and emotionally draining. Research shows that rumination amplifies negative emotions, increases symptoms of depression and anxiety, and interferes with emotional recovery after stressful life events such as divorce (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., 2008).

In the context of divorce, rumination often centers on:

Replaying arguments or moments of betrayal Obsessing over unanswered “why” questions Comparing the present to the past Imagining alternate outcomes (“If only I had…”) Fixating on the former spouse’s choices or new life

Rather than bringing clarity, these thought patterns deepen emotional wounds.

Why Divorce Triggers Rumination

Divorce disrupts identity, attachment, and perceived stability. Marriage often becomes intertwined with a person’s sense of self, future plans, and emotional safety. When that bond ends, the brain instinctively searches for meaning and control. Rumination becomes a misguided attempt to regain understanding and emotional balance.

Neurologically, rumination is associated with heightened activity in brain regions involved in self-referential thinking and emotional pain. Under chronic stress—such as divorce—these systems can remain overactivated, keeping the mind stuck in threat and loss processing rather than adaptation (Hamilton et al., 2015).

How Rumination Impacts Divorce Recovery

Unchecked rumination can significantly slow the healing process after divorce. Studies consistently link rumination to prolonged grief, depressive symptoms, sleep disturbances, and difficulty forming new relationships (Smith & Alloy, 2009). Emotionally, it keeps a person bonded to the past rather than present reality.

Common consequences include:

Emotional exhaustion and mental fatigue Increased anger, guilt, or shame Difficulty concentrating or making decisions Heightened resentment toward a former spouse Reduced self-esteem and hope for the future

In essence, rumination keeps the divorce emotionally “alive” long after it has legally ended.

How to Move Past Rumination After Divorce

Moving past rumination does not mean forgetting the marriage or denying pain. It means learning to disengage from unproductive thought cycles and redirect mental energy toward healing and growth.

1. Learn to Name the Pattern

The first step is awareness. When repetitive thoughts arise, label them as “rumination” rather than truth or problem-solving. This creates psychological distance and reduces their emotional power.

2. Shift from “Why” to “What Now”

“Why did this happen?” often leads to endless speculation. Replacing it with “What can I do now?” shifts the brain toward agency and forward movement. Action-oriented thinking interrupts rumination loops.

3. Limit Mental Rehearsal

Set intentional boundaries with your thoughts. Some therapists recommend scheduling a short daily “worry window” (e.g., 15 minutes). Outside that time, gently redirect your focus when rumination begins.

4. Engage the Body

Physical movement—walking, stretching, or exercise—helps regulate the nervous system and reduces repetitive thinking. Research shows that behavioral activation can significantly reduce rumination and depressive symptoms (Watkins, 2008).

5. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding

Mindfulness techniques teach individuals to observe thoughts without becoming entangled in them. Grounding practices anchor attention in the present moment, reducing emotional reactivity to past events.

6. Reframe the Narrative

Instead of viewing the divorce solely as failure or loss, begin reconstructing a narrative of survival, learning, and growth. Cognitive reframing helps reduce self-blame and fosters resilience.

7. Seek Support

Therapy, support groups, or trusted conversations can provide perspective and interrupt isolation-driven rumination. Evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are particularly effective in addressing rumination.

Moving Forward

Rumination is understandable after divorce—but it is not inevitable or permanent. Healing begins when the mind is gently guided out of the past and back into the present. By recognizing rumination for what it is and practicing intentional strategies to interrupt it, individuals can reclaim emotional energy, restore clarity, and begin building a life that is no longer defined by what ended—but by what is still possible.

This article was written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. He is a licensed clinical social worker and behavioral health professional with extensive experience helping individuals and families navigate life transitions, trauma, grief, and relational loss. His work frequently focuses on divorce recovery, emotional regulation, identity rebuilding, and the psychological patterns—such as rumination—that keep people emotionally stuck. Drawing from clinical practice, research, and real-world experience, Collier is known for translating complex mental health concepts into compassionate, practical guidance that promotes healing, clarity, and forward movement. His writing emphasizes resilience, emotional insight, and the belief that meaningful growth is possible even after profound personal loss.

References

Hamilton, J. P., Farmer, M., Fogelman, P., & Gotlib, I. H. (2015). Depressive rumination, the default-mode network, and the dark matter of clinical neuroscience. Biological Psychiatry, 78(4), 224–230. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2015.02.020

Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400–424. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00088.x

Smith, J. M., & Alloy, L. B. (2009). A roadmap to rumination: A review of the definition, assessment, and conceptualization of this multifaceted construct. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(2), 116–128. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2008.10.003

Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 163–206. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.134.2.163

What Is Overparenting?

Overparenting is a pattern of parenting in which a caregiver provides developmentally inappropriate levels of control, monitoring, problem-solving, and “help” that limits a child’s chances to build autonomy and coping skills. Researchers often describe it as excessive directiveness and involvement that goes beyond what the child needs at their age or stage. (guilfordjournals.com)

You’ll also hear overparenting discussed as “helicopter parenting” (hovering and intervening quickly) and sometimes “lawnmower/snowplow parenting” (removing obstacles before the child encounters them). In research, these terms commonly point to the same general issue: too much parental management, too little child agency. (PMC)

What Overparenting Looks Like in Real Life

Overparenting isn’t the same as being warm, involved, or protective. It’s more about how involvement is delivered—especially when it replaces a child’s learning opportunities.

Common signs include:

  • Solving problems the child could reasonably solve (calling teachers/coaches/bosses to fix issues, negotiating consequences, managing conflicts for them) (apa.org)
  • Over-monitoring and micromanaging daily routines, schoolwork, friendships, or activities beyond what’s age-appropriate (Wiley Online Library)
  • Overprotecting from normal risk and discomfort (not allowing failure, discomfort, or independent decision-making) (PMC)
  • Excessive tangible help (doing tasks for the child—executive functioning “scaffolding” that never fades) (guilfordjournals.com)

Why Overparenting Happens

Overparenting is usually driven by good intentions and real pressure, not selfishness. Common contributors include:

  • Parent anxiety and fear (about safety, achievement, social standing, or future stability) (guilfordjournals.com)
  • Cultural and economic pressures that frame childhood as high-stakes and competitive (sometimes called “intensive parenting”) (OUP Academic)
  • A mismatch between a child’s needs and the parent’s support level (support doesn’t gradually step back as skills grow) (guilfordjournals.com)

What the Research Says About Potential Impacts

Research findings are nuanced (and many studies are correlational), but the overall pattern is consistent: higher overparenting/helicopter parenting is often associated with weaker adjustment and well-being, especially in adolescence and emerging adulthood.

Mental health and distress

A systematic review of helicopter parenting studies found that most included studies reported relationships with higher anxiety and/or depression symptoms (noting that many studies are cross-sectional and can’t prove direction of cause). (PMC)

Autonomy, self-efficacy, and adjustment

The APA summarized research suggesting that overcontrolling parenting can interfere with children’s ability to adjust in school and social settings and may be linked with poorer functioning when kids must manage independently. (apa.org)

Family communication and satisfaction

Research has also linked overparenting with lower-quality parent–child communication and indirect effects on family satisfaction. (Wiley Online Library)

Emerging adulthood outcomes

Classic work in this area has reported associations between helicopter parenting and poorer psychological well-being in college-aged samples. (Taylor & Francis Online)

Important nuance: Some parental involvement is healthy and protective. The risk tends to increase when support becomes controlling, intrusive, or prevents normal independence-building. (PMC)

Overparenting vs. Healthy Support: A Simple Rule

A practical way to distinguish healthy involvement from overparenting:

  • Healthy support: “I’ll help you think this through, then you try.”
  • Overparenting: “I’ll handle this so you don’t struggle.”

The goal isn’t to step back emotionally—it’s to step back operationally as the child’s capacity grows. (guilfordjournals.com)

How to Reduce Overparenting Without Becoming Hands-Off

Evidence-informed strategies that align with what researchers emphasize about autonomy and development:

  1. Shift from rescuing to coaching
    Ask: “What’s your plan?” “What are two options?” “What’s the next small step?”
  2. Use “fade-out” support
    Provide structure early, then gradually remove it as competence increases.
  3. Normalize safe failure
    Let children experience manageable consequences and discomfort—this is how coping grows. (OUP Academic)
  4. Check your anxiety channel
    If your urge to intervene spikes, pause and ask: “Is this about my fear or their need?” (Parent anxiety is commonly discussed as a driver.) (guilfordjournals.com)
  5. Keep warmth high, control appropriate
    Connection protects; overcontrol can backfire. Aim for support + autonomy, not one or the other. (PMC)

This article was written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW-S.  Mr. Collier has over 25 years of experience in the Social Work field.  He currently service as the Executive Director and Outpatient Therapist at Southeast Kentucky Behavioral Health in London Kentucky.  He may be reached by phone at (606) 657-0532 or by email at john@sekybh.com.

References

  • American Psychological Association (APA). (2018). Helicopter parenting may negatively affect children’s behavior and mental health, study suggests. (apa.org)
  • Lawson, D. W. (2025). Extended parental care and the evolution of overparenting. (OUP Academic)
  • LeMoyne, T., & Buchanan, T. (2011). Does “hovering” matter? Helicopter parenting and its effect on well-being. (Taylor & Francis Online)
  • Segrin, C., Woszidlo, A., Givertz, M., & Montgomery, N. (2012). The association between overparenting, parent–child communication, and family satisfaction. (Wiley Online Library)
  • Segrin, C., Woszidlo, A., Givertz, M., & Montgomery, N. (2013). Parent and child traits associated with overparenting. (guilfordjournals.com)
  • Vigdal, J. S., & Brønnick, K. (2022). A systematic review of “helicopter parenting” and its associations with mental health and adjustment. (PMC)
How Trauma Changes the Brain: What You Need to Know

Trauma, whether it’s from a physical injury or an emotional experience, can have a lasting impact on the brain. Thanks to research in neuroscience, we now know that trauma doesn’t just affect how we feel—it actually changes how the brain works. Understanding these changes can help us see why trauma has such powerful effects and how recovery is possible.

What Happens to the Brain During Trauma?

When you go through a traumatic event, your brain switches into “survival mode.” This is controlled by something called the stress response system, which prepares your body to deal with danger. You may have heard of the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. This is when stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your body, helping you react quickly to protect yourself.

This response is helpful in the short term, like when you need to escape danger. But if trauma is ongoing, or if your brain keeps thinking you’re in danger even after the threat is gone, this stress response can do more harm than good.

How Trauma Changes the Brain

Trauma can change how different parts of the brain work and even how they look. Here are the three key areas affected:

1. The Amygdala: The Alarm System

The amygdala is the part of your brain that helps detect threats and process emotions like fear. After trauma, the amygdala can become overactive, making you feel on edge or jumpy even when you’re safe. This is why people who’ve experienced trauma often feel anxious or have trouble calming down.

2. The Prefrontal Cortex: The Decision Maker

The prefrontal cortex is like the brain’s “control center.” It helps you think logically, make decisions, and calm down after a stressful event. Trauma can make this part of the brain less active, which means it’s harder to think clearly, control your emotions, or feel in control of your reactions.

3. The Hippocampus: The Memory Keeper

The hippocampus is responsible for organizing memories and distinguishing between the past and the present. Trauma can make the hippocampus shrink, which is why some people have trouble remembering details of the trauma or feel like they’re reliving it (flashbacks), even when it’s over.

Why Do These Changes Matter?

The changes in the brain after trauma explain many of the symptoms people experience, such as:

• Flashbacks or nightmares: The brain struggles to tell the difference between past and present, so it feels like the trauma is happening again.

• Anxiety or hypervigilance: The overactive amygdala keeps you constantly on the lookout for danger.

• Difficulty focusing or making decisions: A less active prefrontal cortex makes it harder to think clearly.

These changes also show why trauma doesn’t just “go away” on its own—your brain needs time and support to heal.

Can the Brain Heal After Trauma?

The good news is that the brain is adaptable. This ability to change and heal is called neuroplasticity. With the right support, the brain can recover from the effects of trauma. Here’s how:

1. Therapy: Treatments like trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) can help “rewire” the brain and reduce symptoms.

2. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Practices like meditation can help calm the amygdala and strengthen the prefrontal cortex.

3. Exercise: Physical activity can increase the size of the hippocampus and improve mood by releasing feel-good chemicals like endorphins.

Trauma changes the brain, but these changes don’t have to be permanent. Understanding how trauma affects the brain can help us be more compassionate toward ourselves and others who are struggling. With the right tools and support, healing is not only possible—it’s likely.

This article has been written by John S. Collier, MSW, LCSW. Mr. Collier has over 25 years experience in the social work field. He currently serves as the executive director in outpatient behavioral health therapist at Southeast Kentucky Behavioral health based out of London Kentucky. He may be reached by phone at 606-657-0532 extension 101 or by email at john@sckybh.com

References

• Shin, L. M., Rauch, S. L., & Pitman, R. K. (2006). Amygdala, medial prefrontal cortex, and hippocampal function in PTSD. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1071(1), 67-79.

• Bremner, J. D. (2006). Traumatic stress: Effects on the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 445-461.

• van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.